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True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 581 days
Last activity: 566 days
Posted on 04-08-12 03:29 PM Link | Quote
Happy Easter just remember

Jesus was not a zombie. He was not mindless nor did he consume anyone. Nor was he a ghoul or a wight. Although his soul and intellect were intact, he was not a rotting corpse. He was not a vampire. While he transubstantiated wine into blood he never drank it from a person. Jesus was not a ghost or wraith. He was corporeal and still had his wounds.

It is clear.

Jesus was a Lich.

A lich is created when a powerful magician or king striving for eternal live uses spells or rituals to bind his soul to his animated corpse and thereby achieves immortality. Liches are depicted as being clearly cadaverous, their bodies still bearing the wounds they received before their death. Liches often have power of necromancy which allow them to bring the dead back to life.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 22 days
Last activity: 22 days
Posted on 04-10-12 08:39 AM Link | Quote
As the resident gamer nerd, I just want to point out two flaws with this hilarious reclassification. Liches don't actually die, they just transform. They also bind their souls to a phylactery, not their bodies, and this is what allows them to respawn in case of death.

That said, this makes it clear that the Holy Grail is actually Jesus' phylactery.
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 581 days
Last activity: 566 days
Posted on 04-10-12 07:01 PM Link | Quote
anything else to add? lol
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 22 days
Last activity: 22 days
Posted on 04-10-12 08:40 PM Link | Quote
Nope, I think that about covers it. And it makes the idea of the Knights of the Round Table (who were basically Paladins) questing to find the Holy Grail that much funnier of a thought.
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