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11-17-18 04:15 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Once again... they have forgotten | |
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True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 705 days
Last activity: 690 days
Posted on 11-01-12 07:11 PM Link | Quote
I am having a hard time understanding my grandparents' and my mother's issues.

Yes we are a family of nonconfrontational people. We hate drama as a family but here are the events that lead up to today.

First, every time I mention my sister's name to my grandfather, his face just furls and he gets furious. He doesn't even consider her part of the family for some strange reason. He just doesn't want to talk about her at all. Like the road she is going down (as weird as it is) just doesn't matter to him anymore. He and Grandma used to talk to Kris all the time. Now it's just a hi bye type thing and it's not healthy at all.

Second, about a week ago David visited the grandparents and they had a "Gay Intervention." Where grandma couldn't even say the WORD "gay" it was "homosexual." Of course I know that they were raised in an older time but it's just a bit too much and a little too far off for me. This caused my brother to be emotional because they couldn't accept him for what he is. I have a feeling that's what it was about. This whole issue has been going on for 19 years and now they want to say something about it?

Third, Grams calls me up stating that they have had they're final church service in their home. Apparently they are moving it across the street into someone else's house (another thing I will get into later). She calls me up wondering if I want the piano and I know how much it means to her, but I know in my future I can't take this item. It would be better for her to donate it somewhere. I can't even say no because they want to put the piano in storage, then I know(knowing grandpa's financial senses) I will have to pay for it.

FINALLY, It seems to me that they have forgotten the reason they moved to Ellerslie in the first place. To be closer to US. Since they started this church they were constantly moving away from our sense of family. They have started to call people across the street family more so than my own mother. Their own flesh and blood. It's not fair and I can't say anything to them about because I know they will DENY it. It feels like they just want to write us off completely. I mean I'm on good standings with them right now but that's only because of D'arcy.
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 705 days
Last activity: 690 days
Posted on 11-02-12 10:20 PM Link | Quote
Update. Apparently they didn't move up to GA from LA(Lower Alabama) because they wanted to be near us. They moved up here because they wanted to "save" us. It's quite awkward when your grandparents have gone all fire and brimstone. Makes me want to turn back to Wicca... In fact I have been thinking about the philosophy and being on and off again just isn't okay in my mind. This is turning my faith inside out and upside down.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 8 days
Posted on 11-03-12 02:58 PM Link | Quote
*hug*

I am really sorry that they are dragging you through the emotional muck. Perhaps it is time for an intervention for them to be shown how they are turning away from you guys... don't know if it would work but worth a shot. If not, then the rest of you should still band together.

Your faith issues are something you will have to come to terms with when you are ready. Personally I have always noticed the similarities between the two faiths (as written, not by the actions of others)... and they are largely beliefs held by many religions. Maybe looking at it from that perspective might help?
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 705 days
Last activity: 690 days
Posted on 11-03-12 11:58 PM Link | Quote
but having the belief of heaven and hell being put into your mind for over ten years is a tough one.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 8 days
Posted on 11-14-12 09:12 AM Link | Quote
Very true. There are Wiccans and other Pagans that have such concepts though... the Summerlands at least. Hell... well... I think that Earth is the closest thing we have to that, but I don't know what other Pagans believe.
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 705 days
Last activity: 690 days
Posted on 11-17-12 12:54 PM Link | Quote
So I called my grandmother up to see if she is doing alright. She turns around and confronts me about my apology. I tell her that I was unsure of anything other than the "favorites" thing. She turns around and calls my mom a liar. -__-;;

My mom sent a letter to them stating that they were dirtying the memory of being grandparents and life isn't all about Christ. Of course... they took it the wrong way. Instead of having the "mirror" put up to see what they are doing, they took it as reprogramming themselves to be accepted in the family or they are out. -___-;;; I wanted to punch the wall when I was told that.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 8 days
Posted on 11-20-12 12:19 PM Link | Quote
That is worthy of a facepalm.

But, it really is common for people that are super "fire and brimstone" to have that black and white view of the world. It sucks.

*hug*
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 705 days
Last activity: 690 days
Posted on 11-20-12 06:06 PM Link | Quote
Yeah my mother told me that it was time to stop catering to their whims.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 8 days
Posted on 11-24-12 04:32 PM Link | Quote
Honestly, I think she is right. It seems quite obvious that your grandparents have already judged you and found you wanting (despite that being something they are not supposed to do) and the only way to change that is to become just like them, which it is clear you don't want to do. I wouldn't cut them out, but I would definitely not give them as many opportunities to hurt you like this. They want to distance themselves, let them. If and when they realize their mistake, they will come back on their own. Until then, live you life as you want to and enjoy it.
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