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07-17-18 03:37 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Trying to ask this girl out - hard mode | |
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Xeoman

Gibdo
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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 2 days
Posted on 12-22-13 10:39 AM Link | Quote
Okay I think somewhere at some point I mentioned I've seen this cute girl at one of my local pharmacies over the last few months. I caught her name tag eventually and found her on FB, turns out we have a lot of similar interests and her crowd looks like people I would have been friends with in school so that's cool too.

I sent her a FB message about a month ago to try and get things started. Never heard back.

What's tough is that this is insanely hard to dig up any kind of information on her whatsoever, even the few friends she has on FB are just as low key. She has one picture up and then baked cookies in which one friend even joked "Oh wow we thought you died!", so obviously she's barely on FB. Her mom is on there but you can't see anything. It's almost like I'm wondering if she doesn't even have a phone/computer, lol.

So finally it keeps popping back up in my mind over the weeks and Thursday I was pumped about it, finally decided I was just going to go up there in person and ask her out.

Now this is the thing, she works at the Walmart pharmacy which is like a big walk in closet. It is very claustrophobic and her and I will have a big audience which can be embarrassing on both ends I'm sure. But I had seen her step out before to help a customer, so I figured I would try to do the same.

I get up there and walk around a bit not seeing her for awhile, so I did some shopping and came back. By the time she got there the steam rolled off a little, haha I'll admit it. They didn't seem busy at all and I even saw the pharmacist walking around out of the pharmacy helping someone very casually. I know they do order entry and things like that, maybe that's what she was doing on the computers. So finally I approached her and asked if she could help me (pointing out away from the pharmacy), so she stepped out... and I fumbled a little but I don't think it was terribly awkward. I asked if she got my FB message, introduced myself, said it's awesome she likes metal, but it was like the moment she found out I didn't really help she had to get back to work.

Now this is where it gets weirder because she is very Asian (accent and all, Korean I think) and from what I've seen knowing some people like this, she might just be THAT diligent about work. Her and other people I know who can be like this don't have a single second to spare for break no matter what it is. And anything else aside regardless, I know she's on the clock and that's understandable, but still. Was like a minute tops, if even.

So I don't know if I was mad, sad, disappointed, or wanted to laugh at how weird it went down. But yeah, when I did mention metal she did stop for a second like she hesitated to talk more, but went back into the pharmacy. And naturally I went away and didn't go up to the window to say anything else. Overall I think she didn't seem rude about anything and was sincere, but just truly had to get back to work ASAP. So I didn't get around to asking her out in person which sucks.

So I sent her another message when I got home (this was on Friday) but still haven't heard back. She at least knows I've got messages out there, but again it's like... I think she was honest about not having seen the first one instead of not being interested, but I seriously wonder if she can even get around to seeing these.

Prior to this week I sent one of my sisters friends a message to jokingly bug this girl to check her FB, which was maybe a bad move but I'm not sure. But that shows a few connections I guess, I know one of her coworkers and my sister went to school with this chick I'm trying to ask out.

SO yeah, seriously what the hell can I do from here? I care too much and am failing to be patient right now haha, but I know I need to give it a little time. Still... it's mindblowing how cool she seems like she could potentially be and how many similar interests we share, I have confirmed that she is single and want to get in there before others... I dunno. She is very attractive so there's that. But there's also the question if she's even interested or looking right now herself. At the least I think we'd be good friend material... but I am also completely tired of meeting women that are taken or ending up in the friend zone so I want to be point blank about this.

My only idea now is to be diligent myself and maybe try to approach her again some other weekend (might be weird timing with the holidays) and then try to be point blank about it. But now she's seen my face and I probably can't do the "hey I need help over here lol" move again, so I don't know if it'd be awful to ask her out through the window when a lot of others would be around to listen in. Maybe just go up there and ask if there's a good time to catch her or if we can quickly chat sometime when she's free (suggesting as in maybe on a break or at work somehow).

The location she is in couldn't have been any worse. She does work at some cafe too, but I have no idea what her schedules are like and I'm certainly not trying to fall into stalker territory here.

So is it me or is this weird as balls? I understand that in most cases if you do not hear back that's more than likely a no. But this case is different. I have no idea what to think or where to go from here. At least I'm getting balls again and did do this, but yeah. Being stubborn, I just want a clear answer! She is like dream material, bullet point by bullet point what I love. But there's also the fear that maybe she's expected to stay within the same ethnicity, I don't know. But her tastes in music and list of friends makes me think otherwise and she's probably more open minded than that, not to mention our generation is more open about these things (I think). *scratches head*


(Last edited by Xeo on 12-22-13 10:53 AM)
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 18 hours
Last activity: 18 hours
Posted on 12-22-13 03:13 PM Link | Quote
If you like her go for her, Xeo. Go, Xeo, go!

I'm happy to see you putting yourself out there. You're already doing great talking to her.
Xeoman

Gibdo
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 2 days
Posted on 12-22-13 06:51 PM Link | Quote
I felt bad/lost Friday/Saturday about it all, but talking to my dad of all people was a really good idea today. He had a lot of good points and ideas. And I never even though that, maybe she didn't want to talk/stop working because she thought she'd get in trouble? Who knows.

So yeah I was freaking out there, but really... nothing bad nor good totally happened. But we talked and maybe she knows I exist now, something beyond a customer face. "that guy who talked to me" haha, so maybe it's a start.

My dad is basically suggesting I play the admirer game a bit. I probably do need a prescription refill in 1-2 weeks and this allows me to run up there twice, and I've been seeing her a lot when I go up there now so the chances of bumping into her are good and I think I'll even walk away if I don't see her and just try another time. So next time I will try to strike up a little more casual conversation at the window, see if I can make her laugh.

He said I should try to do something more than once a month, but I'm not sure? Have to find that balance between persistent and stalker. This is also once again where "Pharmacy" the location, makes this harder.

I regret sending her a second FB message, but yeah I don't even know if she'll see that one either so oh well haha.

His ideas were...
- Give her a letter that kind of briefly tells her about myself and that I'm interested
- Send her small gifts (I guess he baked some girl cookies once haha)
- Ask if I could buy her Subway on her break/when she gets off sometime (it's in the Walmart)

I thought maybe these things would be cheesy, but now it's like who cares... and we all know I'm sensitive so I can be sweet and probably do these things haha. I just wonder if this day and age things are differently, but this case seems like it'll be old school without technology. Which I'd prefer a more traditional setup anyways, so yeah. Just obviously not my field of expertise, haha.

Assuming this rolls over into February and Valentines, that'll be the ultimate excuse to send something.

Now... the ultimate test is waiting. My god I'm such a hopeless romantic and this pressure is intense, lmao. It's a nice distraction from the friend at work and other life BS though.


(Last edited by Xeo on 12-22-13 06:54 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 23 days
Posted on 12-23-13 09:08 AM Link | Quote
The balance is not falling into stalker land. I would just tell her the next time you get her to chat that you have some mutual friends and you'd love to actually have a conversation with her about music and stuff. Maybe tell her where you work as well so it's not so one-sided.
Xeoman

Gibdo
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 2 days
Posted on 12-23-13 09:16 AM Link | Quote
I'm wondering if she'll be wearing glasses next time I go up in 1-2 weeks (I've seen her with and without). If she has them on I think that'll be easy to work with and could lead up into me mentioning where I work (I only wear my glasses at work). So yeah that might work for that.
Cteno

Super Shotgun
Moderator








Since: 01-11-05

Since last post: 103 days
Last activity: 15 days
Posted on 12-23-13 06:51 PM Link | Quote
The first go was definitely awkward, but speaking from experience, those awkward moments are fun to reflect upon later regardless of the outcome.

But yes, finding the balance between admirer and stalker is tough, and each person will perceive each action differently. The best possible thing to do is to be honest and not beat around the bush.

While cookies are sweet, a cookie every day will lead to a toothache. --孔夫子
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 202 days
Last activity: 22 hours
Posted on 12-23-13 07:45 PM Link | Quote
The thing I have to ask is, what are you doing to stand out?

Okay, so you saw her, asked her for help, and then asked her out instead. Maybe not the best move, to be honest. She's got work, and it's a little hard.

My advice? First, go to the cafe. Maybe a couple times. I'd go when there isn't a line. Be in the back of the line. Then when you get there, find some way to talk about something. "Oh hey, don't you work at the pharmacy?" Maybe say something about Christmas or the new year or something, I don't know, the point is to talk. If you don't have at least some conversation, she's frankly not going to be wanting to go out with you.

Then, this is important, you need to be the one to terminate the conversation, don't let her be the one to do it. As you leave to go to your table, just say something like, "hey, you seem pretty cool, how'd you like to get dinner sometime?"

Alternative final lines could be, "Did you just fart? Because I've been blown away by you." or, "You in need of a hairy plumber? Bow chicka bow wow." or otherwise. jk jk.

EDIT: Seriously though, the first part of my post is serious, don't worry about it Xeo, you've got this. Worst case scenario she says no and you go on and find some other girl who is a million times better.


(Last edited by Lord Vulkas Mormonus on 12-23-13 07:46 PM)
Xeoman

Gibdo
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 2 days
Posted on 12-23-13 09:03 PM Link | Quote
Well I didn't ask her out, which is good now that I'm reflecting on this. I'll build up to it slowly but surely, already planning on something big for valentines.

From what I gathered most people are telling me appearing at the cafe would be an alarm for sure. I mean and I have nobody else to go with, it'd be too weird I think. I'll leave that alone for now.

What I want to do is go in the Friday after next, make her laugh, ask if she works the next day and go back to pickup my subscription, then maybe give her a little gift that time.

@Cteno: Yup, and being awesome and honest with myself is something I'm doing well this year. And yeah to that last part, too many times have I slipped into friend zone or something, gonna make it clear I don't want that. Obviously seriousness takes time, but I do want to make my intentions clear in the early going here so I don't waste anyone's time.


(Last edited by Xeo on 12-23-13 09:07 PM)
Xeoman

Gibdo
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 2 days
Posted on 12-23-13 09:39 PM Link | Quote
I just ordered a cute little Chopper plushie. She liked a bunch of her friends pictures of him on FB... so, gonna wing it.

Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 23 days
Posted on 12-26-13 12:13 PM Link | Quote
The gift might be a bit much... then you are appearing like a Facebook stalker or something. Good plan for Friday though, I think that works. And like Vulkar said, strike up a conversation then be the one to end it... maybe go slow like, "See ya next time" or something innocent like that.
Xeoman

Gibdo
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 2 days
Posted on 12-26-13 11:40 PM Link | Quote
Probably, haha. I'll save it for later. I'll try to confirm in person if she likes the show or not, then that'd be a lot better to go with it from there I think.

My family had the idea, still do a gift (Saturday), but just do simple small flowers and nothing too fancy. Throw in a card that might say something like "I think you're really cute and would love (maybe "like" instead for now? haha) to get to know you more" or something. Then I could maybe see if she likes Subway and offer to buy her lunch/dinner there or something since it's in the store. A baby step but it's in her territory at work and that'd help build some comfort zone I think.

HURRY UP NEXT WEEK! lol

My friend says the second interaction is critical. The pressure is on. lmao

Holy crap trying not to overhype this, but she just seems totally legit.


(Last edited by Xeo on 12-26-13 11:45 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 23 days
Posted on 12-28-13 02:49 AM Link | Quote
Keep it simple... maybe a single flower, like a pink or lavender rose (not too strong, but signalling affection according to most "rose color meaning" sites... perhaps go with the one you think she'd like more based on what you know. Obviously, if she hates pink, go with lavender, or vice versa. Don't focus on her appearance... yes, she is cute, but there is more to her than her looks. Maybe say something like, "I think you are really interesting and would like to get to know you better. May I take you to lunch at Subway one of these days so we can chat?"
Cteno

Super Shotgun
Moderator








Since: 01-11-05

Since last post: 103 days
Last activity: 15 days
Posted on 12-28-13 03:17 AM Link | Quote
I can see how a conversation could be fuddled...

"Would you like to go to Subway? I've been thinking about giving you a footlong for a while now and... hey, why are you leaving?"

Xeoman

Gibdo
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 2 days
Posted on 12-28-13 01:44 PM Link | Quote
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 18 hours
Last activity: 18 hours
Posted on 12-28-13 01:56 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Xeo


I'm concerned about you, sir.
Xeoman

Gibdo
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 2 days
Posted on 12-28-13 09:13 PM Link | Quote
Friday can't come soon enough.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 23 days
Posted on 12-31-13 12:27 PM Link | Quote
So what is your plan?
Xeoman

Gibdo
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 2 days
Posted on 12-31-13 07:46 PM Link | Quote
As of the 30th she's in a relationship.

So many of their friends liked this update on their FB's.

lol, well ain't that a fuck. This dude has a Super Sentai background up, she must be ultra nerd as well. And hot. And ah damn.

I still plan to go talk to her Friday, maybe see if we can work out some friendship here and you never know. But, no gifts... unless you guys think it's still fair game and worth a shot?

Yeah.




(Last edited by Xeo on 12-31-13 07:47 PM)
Katana

Dark Wizard
\"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\"








Since: 08-15-04
From: Philadelphia, P.A.

Since last post: 591 days
Last activity: 174 days
Posted on 01-01-14 04:17 PM Link | Quote
No gifts.
Cteno

Super Shotgun
Moderator








Since: 01-11-05

Since last post: 103 days
Last activity: 15 days
Posted on 01-01-14 06:29 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Katana
No gifts.

This.
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