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12-09-18 04:23 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Debate Shrine - Over 18 | |
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Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 3712 days
Last activity: 2977 days
Posted on 09-03-05 07:56 PM Link | Quote
As some of you know, it is illegal to date someone under the age of 18 in california if you yourself are 18 or older.

Do you agree with this?

My boyfriend just turned 17 and I am going to be 15 in December. Is this so wrong? I myself identify better with people at least a few years older than I am. It only makes sense that I date someone a little older.

Believe me, i think that when a 30+ year old guy goes after a minor it's a little wrong.

When is okay and when is it just playing wrong?


(Last edited by Makura on 09-03-05 10:57 PM)
01001000
Slow Ride
Take It Easy









Since: 01-10-05

Since last post: 4352 days
Last activity: 3702 days
Posted on 09-03-05 08:12 PM Link | Quote
That is a dumb restriction of socialization, its not like your having sex with the person which I believe if there is a two year difference and one of your is under 18, then if someone finds out, you're busted.

You can...
1. Keep it secret
2. Not date the guy
3. Move out of california

Option one would seem the best, no?
Astrophel
Fear will kill your mind and steal your love as sure as anything;
Fear will rob you blind and make you numb to others suffering









Since: 10-03-04
From: Azul Lux Orbital, Kirin Beta

Since last post: 305 days
Last activity: 144 days
Posted on 09-03-05 11:29 PM Link | Quote
Hobo, it's not just in California.

I think that in such a case, there should also be a specific age difference. That way, there's no 30/17 relationships, but it'd still allow for a few years off. I mean, the way it is now, they can technically go after someone if there's only a few days difference. And that is fucked up.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 3 days
Posted on 09-04-05 06:29 AM Link | Quote
Actually, you're a bit off there Makura. Someone over the age of 18 can date a person under 18, they just can't have sex unless the parents give consent. Though I do think that there is a clause that lets couples who are a year apart off the hook.

I draw the limit at 5 years older/younger personally, though the oldest guy I've ever dated was 3 years older.
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 3712 days
Last activity: 2977 days
Posted on 09-04-05 11:52 AM Link | Quote
You're right Elara. Of course, there can be dating going on without the sex, but unlikely in most cases.
Pockets

Werewolf
pockets








Since: 10-20-04

Since last post: 2916 days
Last activity: 2433 days
Posted on 09-04-05 02:25 PM Link | Quote
actually parental consent doesn't work in California that way. In texas a couple can get married at 14 years of age with parental consent and in Pennsylvania and Hawaii the legal age of consent is fourteen.

There are some other states where the age to have sex is 16 but most of the states it's 18.

I don't have any problem with it as long as the people involved are intelligent and informed. i do have a problem if the younger person is tricked or coerced by the older because odd's are your average younger person is not as aware sexually or worldly as the older individual.

I know that isn't always the case. Sis I know you're smarter than that and I know A lto of people on this board are smarter than that. Age wise... I think 5 years is about my limit. Personally I'd much rather date someone closer to my age maybe a year or two off in either direction.
avatar of law

Beezo








Since: 12-29-04
From: paris, canada

Since last post: 3593 days
Last activity: 3593 days
Posted on 09-05-05 03:42 AM Link | Quote
all i have to say is wow:
age of consent worldwide
http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm

talk about strict... Tunisia, wherever the hell that place is, the age is 20 lol

and yes, there are double standards. as the pattern goes, anyone can easily tell that girls of younger age than males can consent so that older males can prey on the young.

in New Hampshire a female can marry at age 13, and males at 14. once married, you can have sex, but not legally with any other person.

in New Mexico: 13 homosexual, 17 heterosexual. i seriously wonder what's the logic behind that law =/


(Last edited by avatar of law on 09-05-05 06:52 AM)
Cyro Xero

Rune Mage

Rave Atom








Since: 02-23-05
From: Minnesota!!

Since last post: 662 days
Last activity: 575 days
Posted on 09-10-05 02:24 PM Link | Quote
The way it's been said around here. For an out of highshool person to date someone in school (or vice versa) the age difference should be no more than two years. 16/18 17/19 18/20.
geeogree

Ninji








Since: 10-19-04

Since last post: 3000 days
Last activity: 1149 days
Posted on 09-11-05 03:17 AM Link | Quote
I'm not sure why you can't drink, vote, gamble or buy smokes until 18 (in Canada) but you can have sex at 14 with anyone.... that just blows my mind.

Priorities are really screwed up. The age of consent for sex should be 18, whether hetero or homo. If it's a case of 18 and 17 then I'm sure that can be overlooked.
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 34 sec.
Posted on 09-13-05 01:45 PM Link | Quote
I don't think it's dating so much as having sexual intercourse and so on and if your boyfriend reaches 18 while you're still together, I think it's legal since you two were together beforehand.

For almost 5 years, I dated a guy that was 4 years older than me and we got together when I was 13. We never actually had sex, though foreplay was involved... better yet, he had never unzipped his pants or let me touch him even on the outside of his pants. He ultimately refused to do any of that because eventhough he trusted me, he was afraid that I could go to the police and say that I was raped (concentual or not).

According to him, it happened to one of his friends that was dating an underage girl that said she loved him and at the time that this guy and I were dating his friend was then serving time in prison.

Either way, because of this fear, he and I never had sex. Probably for the best anyway.

I don't care what people do these days and if you're dating years below you or above you, hell when I was 18, I dated a guy that was nearing 30 within the next month. The only thing I suppose would be objectionable would be if one was stupid about it and got taken advantage of.

Otherwise, what else is there? Shame on him for robbing the cradle? 15 to 17 is not that big a leap and when you're both older, it's not going to even seemingly make a difference. I guess it only does when you've a teenager, then there's that whole, "I dated a senior when I was a freshman!" buzz that everyone in high school has at some point.


(Last edited by Rogue on 09-14-05 06:47 PM)
geeogree

Ninji








Since: 10-19-04

Since last post: 3000 days
Last activity: 1149 days
Posted on 09-13-05 02:54 PM Link | Quote
see, age difference doesn't bother me.... sure, my wife is less than a year younger than I am... but really, if you love someone that is 10 years older than you.... fine


but what I don't agree with is when that happens and one is 13 and the other is 23
Pockets

Werewolf
pockets








Since: 10-20-04

Since last post: 2916 days
Last activity: 2433 days
Posted on 09-14-05 01:52 PM Link | Quote
Why should it matter if one person is 23 and the other is 13. As long as things are consensual and the couple conducts themselves inside the law until the younger person is legally able to engage in whatever activities they like I don't really have a huge problem with it. Epecially if they're happy.

The downside is if the 23 year old is taking advantage of a naive 13 year old. That is a different story entirely.
avatar of law

Beezo








Since: 12-29-04
From: paris, canada

Since last post: 3593 days
Last activity: 3593 days
Posted on 09-14-05 10:37 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Pockets
Why should it matter if one person is 23 and the other is 13.

The downside is if the 23 year old is taking advantage of a naive 13 year old. That is a different story entirely.


basically your second comment answered your first. the truth of the matter is, the human brain is fully grown at age 21, thus the drinking age limit. at 13, it's too immature to consent to sex. i mean, girls that age giggle and all that about everything, they're still in middle school. they're easily influenced by older ppl.
geeogree

Ninji








Since: 10-19-04

Since last post: 3000 days
Last activity: 1149 days
Posted on 09-14-05 10:55 PM Link | Quote
yeah.... teenagers generally don't know enough about life to make all their decisions...

which of course pisses them off because they think they are.

anyway.... a 20+ year old is going to have a much easier time influencing a 12-18 year old into having sex....

oh, and maybe it's just me.... but most girls that get pregnant at 13 aren't too happy about it

yeah sure... doesn't always happen.... but it does.... and it shouldn't
Evo

Red Super Koopa
Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....








Since: 08-16-04
From: Oregon

Since last post: 3934 days
Last activity: 3874 days
Posted on 09-15-05 03:39 AM Link | Quote
Hmm... *nods* I was... 15 when I got my first real boyfriend, who was 18.

He was my first 'true' love, the first time I ever felt love. I lost my virginity to him, however not by choice. After that first time though, it just seemed ok to let him. I think because I was so young and blinded by my love for him, I did things I didn't want to do. You're stupid when you're young.

However, I do agree that it's stupid. I was in love, and I don't think that there should have been that restriction. He turned 19 when I was 15, still. I admit, it was a little weird, but I felt that love knows no age limits.

Your boyfriend won't get into trouble unless your parents, his, or any of your friends have a problem with it and feel like reporting it to the police. It's honestly not a big thing. I had the police come over to my house one time after he beat me up once, and they knew his age and mine, but they didn't do anything. *shrugs*

But I do agreee with whoever said that it's not right when it's like a 30 year old and a 17 year old.

When my friend, Felicia turned 18, she decided she wanted to get married to a 35+ year old that she had known less than 2 months. I told her that I thought she shouldn't get married, and I haven't heard from her since.

I guess.... if she's really happy, I'm happy for her, but... it's still weird...
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