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03-29-24 09:54 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Debate Shrine - Would you date someone who has VD? | |
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Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 396 days
Last activity: 205 days
Posted on 05-15-05 03:36 PM Link | Quote
It's vastly becoming an issue everyone has to deal with eventually. The chances of marrying a virgin are very slim these days and with more sex going on, there's the greater risk of catching STDs (HIV, syphilis, herpes, etc).

Now the hypothetical situation...

You meet someone, say at a friend's party or at school. You get to know them and you two really click. I mean, you fantasize about this person and spend a lot of time with them. You also are very attracted to them and think how it would be nice to get them in bed should the opportunity come up, but it's not an important issue for you. Eventually the person lets on that they are HIV positive.

What do you do? Are you suddenly turned off? Do you re-think any future sexual involvement with this person?

Your thoughts.

*Note: this is a hypothetical situation as I mentioned. This is not happening to me or a "friend," it's just a question I wanted to pose for everyone.


(Last edited by Ford Prefect on 05-16-05 09:50 PM)
Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 4319 days
Last activity: 4313 days
Posted on 05-15-05 06:33 PM Link | Quote
Well, if the guy turns away from that person (say for example if their married, both havent had sex yet, and are going too) and when he finds out this...then thats not true love..

If i found out if that person had an STD or something, and i had great feelings for that person, then no, I wouldent turn away from that person....
geeogree

Ninji








Since: 10-19-04

Since last post: 4937 days
Last activity: 30 days
Posted on 05-15-05 10:30 PM Link | Quote
I wouldn't....

thanks... I like you and all.... but tough, I'm not getting some STD just so that I can have sex with you

and true love isn't real.... get your head out of the clouds
avatar of law

Beezo








Since: 12-29-04
From: paris, canada

Since last post: 5530 days
Last activity: 5530 days
Posted on 05-15-05 10:34 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by geeogree
I wouldn't....

thanks... I like you and all.... but tough, I'm not getting some STD just so that I can have sex with you

and true love isn't real.... get your head out of the clouds


what's sex have to do with being with a person? true love has nothing to do with sex. i wouldnt care regardless because we'll all die anyways
Déesse

Sailor Déesse
Mistress of Pink
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy








Since: 08-14-04
From: The Moon

Since last post: 6327 days
Last activity: 6059 days
Posted on 05-15-05 11:10 PM Link | Quote
... tricky question I don't know it would really have to depend on the person, I mean if I truly loved them and I can see a strong future then I guess, but I would want them to seek medical attention.

If it was just like a fling then no. I really wouldn’t want to have the virus
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 05-16-05 12:11 AM Link | Quote
geeogree, I'm sure your wife might disagree with the statement on true love there.

Anyways, as for me... the way that Rogue/Ford/whatever-her-name-is put it, I would not leave them. Sure, I might need a bit to recover from the shock, but I would be grateful that they told me before we did anything. If I really loved them, like say if it were Cryus or something, it would change nothing... we'd just always use protection, even after marriage. Kinda gets rid of the idea of kids though sadly.

If it were any other STD, it would depend on what it was. Some of them are treatable, even 100% curable. For those, I'd say that they'd have to be cured first. As for other ones, like herpes and such... well, protection and while it's not acting up.

Of course, like Deesee said, if it's just some guy I hit it off with and don't really love, then I wouldn't do anything with them in a sexual way.
Pat Meth

Paratroopa








Since: 03-18-05
From: Keyes

Since last post: 6853 days
Last activity: 6848 days
Posted on 05-16-05 04:22 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Elara
geeogree, I'm sure your wife might disagree with the statement on true love there.


Well I don't! If there is such a thing as true love, it's probbly one in a billion, so no one ever finds it anyway except in Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks movies! Oh shit they are so cute together!


Not for the slow-I'm not Geo's wife (AHHHHHHHHH) but those are my beliefs. Except for the movie part--Meg Ryan sucks.
Jin

Posting Pig
Not Dead








Since: 01-12-05
From: Nowhere

Since last post: 2443 days
Last activity: 2302 days
Posted on 05-16-05 10:51 AM Link | Quote
I'm very undecided on this issue..


I mean. I wouldn't walk away from the relationship. I would just wait to see if the relationship developed more before even considering sex. (But this is true for ANY relationship.)
Xeoman

Ball and Chain Trooper
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 19 days
Last activity: 1 day
Posted on 05-16-05 02:51 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by avatar of law
Originally posted by geeogree
I wouldn't....

thanks... I like you and all.... but tough, I'm not getting some STD just so that I can have sex with you

and true love isn't real.... get your head out of the clouds


what's sex have to do with being with a person? true love has nothing to do with sex. i wouldnt care regardless because we'll all die anyways


Minus the last part, I'd have to agree.

If it were someone I completely and truly loved, I could probably do without sex.

And that, probably means a lot coming from me. (I'm still a Virgin myself, not ashamed, it's just ... yeah, I dream a lot. )
Truth/Serum

Cheep-cheep
Continued Harassment.








Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6046 days
Last activity: 6017 days
Posted on 05-16-05 06:47 PM Link | Quote
If I were at the point of having sex with someone, then it shouldn't matter. Then again, I'm one of those old 'fuddy duddy, old-fashioned' so-on-and-so-forth kind of people who believe that you should only be having sex if you really do love the person, prefferably married or engaged and what-not.

So, under those conditions, I say to hell with it, if I love them and we're having sex, I don't care if they have HIV, I'd rather die together than to leave them to die alone and then be alone myself.
WhiteRose

Warrior
Sailor Delerium

Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no ones ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream?...Green mouse ice cream was the worst.








Since: 08-17-04
From: The Dreaming

Since last post: 4214 days
Last activity: 4918 days
Posted on 05-16-05 11:03 PM Link | Quote
I agree with Elara. If I really loved the person, then no, I wouldn't leave them; I'd just take the extra precautions that were needed. As for a family, adoption is always there.
AngelBayB49

Shyguy








Since: 10-08-04
From: Lakewood, CA

Since last post: 6846 days
Last activity: 6602 days
Posted on 05-17-05 08:49 AM Link | Quote
I wouldn't leave that person. I've come to realize that relationships are not all about sex. Hell some relationships don't even have sex until marriage (I have a friend like that). If it really is true love, then you find ways to overcome the no-sex issue.



Originally posted by geeogree
I wouldn't....

thanks... I like you and all.... but tough, I'm not getting some STD just so that I can have sex with you

and true love isn't real.... get your head out of the clouds


In my opinion, the thought of true love not being real is for cynics & pessimists. If you can't see that there is a possibility for true love, then there's something wrong with your outlook. Sorry.
Pat Meth

Paratroopa








Since: 03-18-05
From: Keyes

Since last post: 6853 days
Last activity: 6848 days
Posted on 05-17-05 03:25 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by AngelBayB49
I wouldn't leave that person. I've come to realize that relationships are not all about sex. Hell some relationships don't even have sex until marriage (I have a friend like that). If it really is true love, then you find ways to overcome the no-sex issue.



Originally posted by geeogree
I wouldn't....

thanks... I like you and all.... but tough, I'm not getting some STD just so that I can have sex with you

and true love isn't real.... get your head out of the clouds


In my opinion, the thought of true love not being real is for cynics & pessimists. If you can't see that there is a possibility for true love, then there's something wrong with your outlook. Sorry.


Well, for me, the idea of true love is for the naive and immature. Think about it...how is this possible? I mean, actually ponder the idea of true love for a second...whatever it is. Seriously.
geeogree

Ninji








Since: 10-19-04

Since last post: 4937 days
Last activity: 30 days
Posted on 05-22-05 01:28 AM Link | Quote
well, it seems a few people understand what I'm trying to say...

oh, and my post assumes a little...

who in here actually gets into a serious relationship with anyone else and has absolutely no interest in having sexual interactions with that person?

I know I haven't.... and I doubt anyone can say they can....

AngelBay: I'm married.... and I love my wife, more than anyone else.... but I don't think it's "true love".... why is that such a big deal?
Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 4319 days
Last activity: 4313 days
Posted on 05-22-05 12:54 PM Link | Quote
Some people today try to Avoid those kind of things, like avoiding girls whom have that problem. But some people deserve a second chance, ya know?

If i dated a girl whom had a VD, id ask her if she would seek medical attention also....
Broken Dreams

Thief








Since: 05-29-05
From: California

Since last post: 6388 days
Last activity: 6388 days
Posted on 05-30-05 04:01 AM Link | Quote
well I'm not planing to loose my virginity till the day
I'm married or living with that person like if we
planned to get a house together and are really serious.
but anyway if I found out that the one I am
inlove with has something wrong with them
I couldn't turn them down and be like
" I can't be with you,live with you or marry you...".
That would be really hard, it's almost like your ashamed of that person.
wouldn't be love wouldn't it?



(Last edited by Broken Dreams on 05-30-05 07:02 AM)
venomouslobster

Scarfy








Since: 05-03-05
From: california (knows how to party)

Since last post: 6090 days
Last activity: 5339 days
Posted on 06-01-05 01:19 AM Link | Quote
NO i most certainly would not date someone with VD. which is to say if i knew someone had VD i would not start dating them. if i was dating a lady and all of a sudden she aquired VD i would dump her in a flash.... if i really liked a girl and we hadnt done anything yet and she admited she had it i would tell her that that is ok, i will just never ever touch you again without a full latex body suit....
Azen Dalin

Thief








Since: 08-30-04

Since last post: 6386 days
Last activity: 6385 days
Posted on 06-05-05 05:36 PM Link | Quote
Okay, here's how I look at it, if you love someone I believe that you would stay with them. However, people with STDs are looked at COMPLETELY differently. They are like monsters that roam the Earth, and the people associated with them are looked at that way as well.

People that say, "I'm not staying with her because I can't fuck her," are really saying, "I'm scared, I don't want to stay." It is VERY ass-holish of someone to say, "Hey, I can't stay with you because you have a VD." But, you also have to realize, some people can't deal with that level of stress.

When a person has a Venerial Disease, people will cross the street just to avoid you. They will try to kick you out of their apartment complex just because they think the disease will come in through the ventilation system.

Also, what if that person was screwing around behind your back and got it? Then what would you do? It's one thing when someone is raped, but what if they catch it from screwing around? A. They just lied to you, and B. they didn't consider you enough to protect both of you. I mean, its just there are different scenarios you have to play this from.

If you are truely in love, then perhaps you will stay, but if you're not and you say, "Hey, this was never meant to be in the first place," then you'll leave. It's just a matter of what happens and how it happens.
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 2664 days
Last activity: 2649 days
Posted on 06-07-05 02:10 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Yuzukichi Kaze
Okay, here's how I look at it, if you love someone I believe that you would stay with them. However, people with STDs are looked at COMPLETELY differently. They are like monsters that roam the Earth, and the people associated with them are looked at that way as well.

People that say, "I'm not staying with her because I can't fuck her," are really saying, "I'm scared, I don't want to stay." It is VERY ass-holish of someone to say, "Hey, I can't stay with you because you have a VD." But, you also have to realize, some people can't deal with that level of stress.

When a person has a Venerial Disease, people will cross the street just to avoid you. They will try to kick you out of their apartment complex just because they think the disease will come in through the ventilation system.

Also, what if that person was screwing around behind your back and got it? Then what would you do? It's one thing when someone is raped, but what if they catch it from screwing around? A. They just lied to you, and B. they didn't consider you enough to protect both of you. I mean, its just there are different scenarios you have to play this from.

If you are truely in love, then perhaps you will stay, but if you're not and you say, "Hey, this was never meant to be in the first place," then you'll leave. It's just a matter of what happens and how it happens.

Amen to that Sista!

I have to say I wouldn't be able to deal with the stress of the what ifs.

"What if blood gets into something I use?"
"What if I.....etc"

Think about the stress
Jedi Master Desroth

Priest








Since: 08-24-04
From: Macomb

Since last post: 5032 days
Last activity: 4472 days
Posted on 07-11-05 05:06 PM Link | Quote
I would still love that person, even if they had some VD that was deadly or just plain annoying. If you marry somone just to have sex whenever you want, thats not love at all. I mean, they can still do other stuff for you, and if you just cant live without it, BUY A GODDAMN DILDO OR FAKE VAGINA! Sex is not the reason for marriage or love, its just a fringe benifit of it all. Oh, and btw, if you TRULY loved that person, you would have sex with them so you could both share the burden. Some VD can be surpressed and controlled. And besides, we will all die one day, why not die expressing your love no matter what the cost?
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