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| Lintemacil Posts: 42/42 |
Originally posted by Rogue Now that was truly beautiful. You really know what you’re talking about. All my friends cannot understand why I'm even still with her and tell me to ditch her. Your advice lets me know that I'm doing the right thing by standing by her. Thank you again. To everyone else out their keep posting the more advice I have the more motivated I will be. |
| Rogue Posts: 3340/11918 |
You ARE NOT less than he is. Based on what you've written here, you are definitely not the lesser man here.
It's beautiful how you compliment her and want to be happy and I applaud your efforts to give her her space and time to think. Most people are impatient and end up harming the relationship trying to satisfy their needs as quickly as they can and end up losing the lovely things because they couldn't wait. Honestly, she has to figure this out herself and eventually (though it unfortunately might be years later) she'll discover that you were the better choice. However, and I really don't understand why this happens, girls tend to flock to the guy who treats them poorly and takes them for granted. Often it comes from the love for the bad boy or from some naive belief that they can change him and bring him to be a better person. All in all, the tragic truth is that nice guys finish last. Love is a very tricky thing to give advice on, because people are constantly changing and there is usually no definite answer, so please take what I say with a few grains of salt. It sounds like this ex of hers wants to have a pissing contest with you over her (revealing his naked male insecurities), when really this is her decision. She's a human being, not a piece of meat, not a prize to be fought over, and definitely not a member of someone's harem, as this guy seems to view her as. All I can really say is that you tell her that you want her to be happy and that this is solely her decision. Her happiness makes your heart soar and so on. Just give her her space. I truly hope she chooses you, but at the same time she might never make her decision. She might wait until something falls apart with one or the other and might be having an issue with having her cake and eating it too. I'm sorry. As I said, there's no definite answer, but you seem to be doing fine on your own. Best of luck, Lintemacil. |
| Lintemacil Posts: 41/42 |
Well thanks for telling me that. I have told her I will not let her go because I know what will end up happing. I was about to move away for good when I first started talk to this girl and she know that I gave up moving to be with her. I just hope she doesn't take that lightly and can see that I really want to be with her. |
| Xeoman Posts: 6385/11757 |
I hate to be pretty blunt about this, but she may just be the one missing out in the end here. Its funny because the situation you describe perfectly matches something one of my best friends went through a few months back. Him and a co-worker started getting pretty close, and when you think its all set in stone her (abusive, verbally, physically, everything) ex came back and wanted her back too. From here, she pretty much threw my friend away and went back to her ex. For awhile I think my friend was pretty down about it, but he got over it pretty well. And guess what happened to her? I think it was maybe only 2 months max, but they broke up. So she pretty much lost her chance with my friend and screwed herself over in the end. They're back to being friends after a few months of not talking or so, but my friend wants nothing more than a friendship with her now.
The odd thing is when people are in abusive relationships they could end up thinking its normal and fine. So maybe you should really talk to her about that. So, I'd say you either: - Flat out tell her you're not going to let her go, because chances are they could get back together and the next thing you know they break up. So its as if it were all completely pointless. - Or, just try to move on. But, this is all coming from someone who's never been in a relationship like this. So ... 
I just felt obligated to reply since pretty much the same exact thing happened to my friend and it didn't turn out too well in the end. |
| Lintemacil Posts: 39/42 |
Hi everyone! Some of you may know me from my exploits on RO that used to be hosted. Most of you have no idea who I am but I really hope someone here can give me some useful info. So here is the story.
A few months ago I started to notice a little extra attention from one of my co-workers at my company. I have had kind of a thing for this girl for a while and she was harboring a little crush on me as well. Well after a night of heavy drinking and talking with one of my friends at his house, I decide to tell her how I feel. The response was great. She told me that she was so shocked and happy that I asked her out she was shaking and crying. So over the next week we work up a date plan and decide with the traditional "Dinner and a movie" thing. We go out and have a good time and end up back in my drive way were we make out for like 4 hours. So a week or so passes and I get an email from someone I have never meet. It was her ex telling me that he wants her back after really not saying a word to her for like 4 months. He tells me that I need to back off of her and let him have her. I respond in the only way I knew how. I told him that I love her and will be with her and if it comes down to me having to put his ass in the hospital I would. A few weeks move by and she spends allot of time with me. She also goes out a few times with him which just fly’s all over me. She tells me that she loves me she is sleeping with me. She swears up and down that she won't even kiss him but she does not know whom she wants to be with right now. The only thing I can ever get her to tell me is "I don’t know what I want right now, I just want to make the right choice" when I ask what she wants. Then last Sunday after she got back from the movies with him and her friends she came over to see me. I was really miffed because she had been with him since like Saturday. We sat in her car for a while and I told her that she could call her ex and tell him they could be together now. She breaks down and starts crying, me with tear’s already in my eyes losses it and breaks down. We go in my house where we set on my bed for the next hour talking and crying. She tells me that even thought we are not talking anymore she still does not know if she wants to be with him. So I take her back and tell her I will continue to wait. That brings everyone for the most part up to where I am. Oh yeah she stopped having sex with me to until she can figure out what she wants to do. That’s no big deal to me. Am I wrong about feeling like shit because she would even consider being with him after he cheated on her and was a general dick to her? Not to mention that he left her and wouldn't talk to her. I just feel like a terrible person like I'm less than he is. I have never left her. I tell her I love her every day and tell her I miss her when she is not around. I have even cried over this girl and I never do that. I tell her ever day how beautiful I think she is and just try to make her smile. I know I'm not the greatest person in the world or even the second greatest but come the hell on. I have never left her or given her any reason to cry. I have told her that if she asked I would tear my heart from my chest. Please my friends suck on giving advice. Someone help me figure out what to do. I'm tired of crying over something that might not even work out, but I dream about the chance that it does. |
