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| Stitch Posts: 2568/2785 |
There was speculation on the community that this was all written by a person with multiple personalities, from a multiples community to which I belong. The different narratives come from the same physical person, but it's a different personality. Also, it's hard to know if this is all happening within his headspace, as his interaction with the other people alone, or if this really is multiple people in a house, or if the entire thing is an elaborate work of fiction. Doesn't matter to me, it was entertaining enough.
Long-awaited Part 10: Part 10 by Carrie Well, you get two Sarah stories today, I guess. Well, it looks like you’ve met Tim. To the people who think we were “mean” to Sarah, let me remind you that we were all nice. We cooked her a meal to welcome her, we tried to include her in things we did in the house…but none of those things mattered. I really tried to get along with her because I was the one who pushed the guys into taking her since I really wanted another woman around. I often feel like this was all my fault. But, we all make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are expensive, annoying and bring crazy people from other countries to crash at your place, but I guess I learned something. I learned that I can’t trust people after just one quick interview, and that some people are artists at conning the system. Anyway…Sarah at work… I left off yesterday in the middle of a thought. Sarah had all kinds of issues at work. One time she brought Something along with her. See, Something had a really bad habit of not doing anything but arriving on our doorstep and being a pain in the rear. Since she was a guest of Sarah’s and since Sarah was giving Matt all kinds of trouble about her “disabilities” Matt really didn’t fight about Something unless Something did something…bad. Well, one day Something wanted to go to work with Sarah—probably because Tim was home that day and Something and Tim hated each other. So, she took Something to work with her. Something didn’t even dress correctly for the office. Instead, she wore that ridiculous costume that she’d wear on occasion. I know some people like to wear costumes but you don’t wear them to the office unless it’s a Halloween party! Anyway, Becky told me many people asked Something about the outfit…some more nicely than others. Something actually walked around with a pamphlet about this “religion” and handed them around to these people that Sarah worked with. Sarah found out and wasn’t happy about it. Apparently her soul-bond-stuff wasn’t public knowledge at the office. The two of them got in a fight in the ladies room and it was so loud they sent a security officer in. Something left the building and Sarah started freaking out. She told John she was going for an early lunch. But she didn’t go anywhere. She and Something just sat under a tree in the parking lot. Becky said some people kept walking up to the windows thinking it was a lover’s quarrel. Later, Sarah brought Something back inside and they were all friendly again. Something then went around to all the people she gave those flyers to and asked for them back. Most of them wound up in the trash, of course. Something actually picked through people’s paperbaskets to get them to give back to Sarah. And…another thing at work… At some point between Sarah getting the job and getting fired in November, they blocked her gmail and whatever blog site she was using. She got mad and went to her boss and said she needed access to those things for work related reasons. He said, “Talk to IT.” Becky is one of the people that Sarah had to go talk to about her “problem.” Becky said that the company had decided to block both sites with good reason and that social networking had no place in the office. Sarah got irate because didn’t Becky know this wasn’t a social thing it was her religion? Becky said, “Sorry. Can’t do it.” Then Sarah filed a discriminatory complaint against Becky and also accused her of “talking down” to her and that was “unfair” to someone with a “disability.” I guess not being able to be a fake priestess of a fake religion on someone else’s time is discriminatory in her eyes. Poor Becky was never “charged” with much of anything, but the obnoxious letter that Sarah wrote about her will always be in her file and the week that she was put under a microscope by HR while following up on the “complaint” was awful for her. I met Becky for a beer that week and I can tell you she was a total mess. She’s the nicest person and to be accused of not allowing someone to exercise their religious freedoms and “talking down” to someone with disabilities is just not her. Becky even said, “I didn’t know she was disabled. I still don’t know to what extent.” I really felt bad for Becky, but she really felt bad for us knowing what Sarah was putting us all through. |
| Elara Posts: 4934/9736 |
Well, I feel that Tim's narrative is funny, but I like the other two better since they put more info in. |
| Stitch Posts: 2459/2785 |
Yeah, you pretty much do. And since I haven't been to a therapist in a few years, I can't claim my ADHD anymore. Something to do when I have medical again, not that the signs aren't there...
I’ve been watching Carrie fill in for Pete and figured I’d give this a try. My name is Tim. I use dirty language and some of this has sexual references. There’s a warning in case we have any kiddies out there. Oh, Carrie wanted me to clarify for her that Sarah put the scarfs over the overhead lights--not a lamp on her desk. From the comments to these posts I’m gathering that this soulbond nonsense is actually pretty popular on the internet. I don’t know why people on the internet feel that they belong to special “subcultures” but maybe it has to do with sharing delusions. If you share a delusion that you are a male videogame character who looks like a bunch of badly crafted pixilated dots with others maybe it makes you feel better and justifies your stupidity. I don’t know and I don’t really want to spend this post discussing the “psychology” really, the psychosis of Sarah and her soulbonded friends. I don’t believe in that crap and I sure as hell don’t believe that because other people play in that waterpark that makes it safe and fun for all. People seem to have been guessing about Sarah’s identity and her webpage and blog. I’m going to stick with Pete’s philosophy of not openly stating who she is even though her craziness is pretty public and in your face. Hell, I bet you can google it and it will still be there. Somehow I don’t think that after all that’s happened she’s stopped this crap. In fact, I bet she has kicked it up a degree so she can get more money out of people. Insane bitch that she is… How about a Sarah story? I know that’s what you want. It’s what everyone wants. Even my ex-wife asks me to tell her stories about this nut because it’s so insane it can’t not be true. How about…Sarah, the Boyfriend and me being an rear end in a top hat? Now I know Pete and Carrie have told you about the Boyfriend and how he would call Sarah by her soul-man name in casual conversation, discussion and even when they were making the beast with two backs. (There’s an image I’m sure everyone wanted at 7AM. I need more coffee now, myself) Anyway, the boyfriend would visit quite a bit. The first time we met him, he seemed nice enough, but I don’t know why he’d be doing Sarah. As a girl, she wasn’t that pretty. As a man, she looked like a girl. So I don’t know what this dude’s fettish was, and frankly, I don’t know what to know. I mean, unless a girl who likes to pretend she’s a man is your kind of thing. Did they use a strapon? I don’t know and I’m not going to conjecture about something like that because well…the thought makes me want to vomit. So one time when the boyfriend was over and I was about six beers into a case, and he was replaying that retarded game, I said, “Do you suck dick?” He just looked at me like I had killed his favorite dog or something. So I repeated myself, “Do you suck dick?” “Why?” he asked. I don’t know if he was asking why I was asking or why people suck dick and I was really kind of tired of Ms. Soulbond and her friends, so I let him have it. Sarah came in and yelled at me for “harassing” her boyfriend, so I asked her if she sucked dick. She also asked, “Why?” So I gave them both this answer: “Well, if you’re a guy and you suck dick, you’re gay. If you’re a guy and you don’t suck dick, you’re not gay. If you’re a girl and you suck dick, you’re straight and if you’re a girl and you don’t suck dick you’re a bad date.” I let that sink in and then said. “So, Sarah, if you are really a man, do you suck dick? Does that make your boyfriend-dragon-whatever he is, gay?” Then she called me a gaybasher. So I said, “I’m not a gaybasher. I’m just curious about the sexual frustrations of an obviously gender confused girl.” And then I got a whole long story about how this guy is her “animus” (whatever that is) and how she is just his “vessel” for spreading the word of “peace.” So I said, “So you’re Jesus and you do suck dick? I think the Christian Coalition is going to poo poo their pants.” And then she and the boyfriend left. Thank G-d because I wanted to watch a movie and I couldn’t do it while they were sitting there picking apart that retarded videogame for the millionth time. And how about the time in August 07 when Something came back... Something had this problem about flying in unannounced. Matt had basically given up fighting this bitch because by this time, Sarah was pressing litigation on him about being discriminated against because she is “disabled.” This bitch gives everyone with disabilities a bad name because she FAKES them all. I’ve never heard of anyone getting PTSD from people teasing them. I’ve never heard of people waking up one day and deciding they are Aspergers. I’m sick of retards like Sarah self-diagnosing because all the COOL KIDS are doing it. Oh look an excuse for me to be even more of a social moron! Look! They can’t pick on me now because I’m SPECIAL. That’s the reason that only REALLY SMART PEOPLE understand me and the rest of you are just bottom feeding losers! Oh yeah, today I woke up with OCD, too! That was her loving style. And now I went off on a tangent. Sorry. Back to Something’s August Arrival… Sarah announces that Something is at the airport and that we need to go get her. I said, “Make the she-man take a cab. I’m not driving out there to pick up the trash.” Sarah got all emotional about how I was insulting her “family.” Some tubby bitch who thinks it’s a man and you met on the internet because you share the same delusions is your family? Try again, sweetheart. Sarah threw a fit. I don’t think Pete or Carrie explained what these fits were. First, Sarah would whine and play her victim game. Next, she would pout, stomp her feet and cry. The third stage would be yelling and screaming about “discrimination” and “hatemongering.” And then finally she would retreat to her computer where she would (probably) blog all about special she was and how the rest of the world were just a bunch of loving losers. Thank G-d she’s gone. Something arrives via cab and immediately starts berating Zack and I (because we were the ones home) about how MEAN we were to Sarah. I said, “The bitch has been asked to leave. She’s making us evict her. She could just loving leave and she’d be happy and I’d be so happy I’d run around the block naked.” “She can’t leave! Don’t you see how fragile and emotion and WHATEVER….” Something went on for ever talking (and I wasn’t listening) about how we “damaged” Sarah and her safe places and how we were all evil, unloving mean people because we can’t understand why someone would claim to be a videogame character. Then she said, “Her soul-bond is weakening from all the hate.” Yes, you got that. HER SOUL BOND IS WEAKENING FROM ALL THE HATE!!! I couldn’t resist. “Good, maybe she’ll be loving normal!” Oh, that did it. Something screamed at me. “WE ARE NORMAL! YOU ARE NOT NORMAL! WE ARE MORE IN TUNE WITH OUR BODIES AND SPIRITS AND THE SPIRITS IN GAMES!!!” Games have spirits? I just thought that wet stuff came from Sarah ramming the disk between her legs once in awhile. And…I wish I’d had a way to record her screaming this poo poo at me because it would totally be an awesome YouTube video. Oh here’s one for you… One of Sarah’s “local” followers came by the house one day while Something was there. She was a quiet little girl but before she was “allowed” to see Sarah, Something quizzed her repeatedly in the kitchen about how true her soulbond was. Something also put her hands on the girl’s shoulder’s to see if she could “feel” the soulbond. The girl was clearly terrified of this nuts line of questioning and started to leave. Then Sarah came out from the butler’s pantry and said, “So you’re going to take us to the museum and lunch? We can discuss the strength of your bond while we’re out.” “Don’t go with them,” I said. “They’re scammers and they’re nuts and if you’re this desperate for friends, go buy yourself a blowup doll. They’re smarter and more useful.” I think between me and the freakshow that Something was putting on, the girl just really freaked and ran out of the house. What did Sarah do? She looked at Something and coldly said, “Well, I guess we’re not going to museum.” So there you have it. Some insanity for your day. |
| Elara Posts: 4922/9736 |
I thought that they have to prove that they have such disability before they can get away with such shit. |
| Stitch Posts: 2453/2785 |
Ok, kiddies, I'm going on vaca for a week, so here's your next fix:
Part 8 Sarah at Work Aug. 14th, 2008 at 6:50 PM Hi its Carrie again. I thought you might like some stories about Sarah at work. I got these from our former housemate “Becky” who worked in the same place. Becky was the best roommate ever. She and I shared a bathroom and hallway for about two years and we were very good friends. Everyone in the house was and now is good friends, but we were especially close maybe because we were the only women in a house of guys. And guys can be slobs so we would get on their cases to vacuum and stuff. Someone left a comment that they didn’t think our house is safe because its too cheap. Well, it is safe. The house is about 100 years old and it was paid for long ago. Matt doesn’t have a mortgage, so all the money from our “rent” goes towards maintenance and paying the lawn service and stuff like that. Matt could afford to live here without tenants, but chooses not to because he likes having people around. That’s one reason we’re so picky about who lives here and why we got even more picky after Sarah left. Sarah at work… Becky didn’t work in the same department as Sarah, but after about a month everyone in the building knew her. She had the biggest victim complex and didn’t try to make friends. She just made problems. One of those problems was her desk. Sarah worked in a cubicle. She didn’t like having her back to whoever walked in like all the other cubes were arranged, so she moved her computer so that she was facing whoever walked into her cube. She did this without asking and it really ticked off her boss. While the boss “John” wasn’t a bad guy, Becky said he liked to walk by and make sure his people were doing their jobs and not playing around the internet. That was one of his pet peeves. So John told Sarah she had to move her desk back. Then Sarah said she had a glare on her screen so she moved it. John said he would get her a glare-protector and she said that wasn’t good enough. He asked her why she wanted to face out. She said she didn’t like people coming behind her. It “scared” her. She started crying and John just let it go. The next thing she did was “decorate” her cube. The company doesn’t have a policy about decorations, just that they can’t distract anyone else or violate fire codes. Sarah brought in tye-dye scarfs and put them over the lights. The guy from safety said they had to go because they violated fire codes. Sarah said they were “religious symbols” and that she was being “violated” by being asked to take them down. Safety Guy wrote her up for refusing to adhere to safety codes. Sarah tried to fight it with HR and that dragged on for a few weeks before they basically told her she didn’t have a case. HR then changed the rules and said all cube decorations were not allowed--including holiday decorations. Everyone had to take down their posters, plants and knickknacks. Only family photographs were allowed. When word got around that it was because of Sarah, she made a lot of enemies. Then Sarah was supposed to attend some kind of “Lunch & Train” (that’s what they call them at my place of employement but I can't remember what Becky called it) Basically you go and they give you lunch and do some training with you. The people putting it together send emails around asking what people wanted to lunch. Becky said the options were typical: Ham and Cheese, Chicken Salad, Vegetarian/Vegan and Kosher. Sarah selected “Vegan,” of course. When the day of the lunch and train thing happened, Sarah threw a fit in front of everyone. Becky said there were some really big cheese guys there and they were aghast at this behavior from a lowly tester. Sarah was complaining that vegetarians eat more than salads and it was a personal attack on her to serve her a salad as her lunch! Now, at my company, they give you a few choices because they order these lunches from catering. You don’t expect this to be a five star dining experience. It’s just supposed to be food. I don’t know if Sarah didn’t understand that this wasn’t going to personally tailored to her or what but I can just imagine her in this conference room yelling and screaming because as a vegetarian she had to eat a salad?!?!?!? Another thing she did was fall asleep at her desk at work. Becky said John was having an awful time with her about it. The first time, John woke her and asked if she was okay, thinking maybe she had passed out. She whined about how her PTSD and depression and ADHD and OCD and Aspergers and all the other crap she claimed to have was affecting her. Since she played the “disability card” now John was stuck with trying to “accommodate” her and she knew it. Now that it was established that she was disabled, she told John she wanted different hours. He had to comply. She said that having to be there at 8 was just too early. So he moved her to 9AM start. Then she said she felt cramped in her desk. So she got a bigger cube. She said she got tired at 2PM so she started taking naps in the lounge. She said the noise from the office was distracting her so she got wear her iPod while she worked. This girl knew how to play the system. More later. I need to go to a meeting. |
| Elara Posts: 4920/9736 |
Wow... and I thought I knew nutjobs. |
| Stitch Posts: 2447/2785 |
End of June 2007
When Sarah didn’t move out at the end of her 30 days, Matt filed an “unlawful detainer” on her which is basically a legal paper that says GTFO. Sarah contested it and complained that she was being evicted for religious reasons and because we did not like her disability. So this went to landlord/tenant court…but not for two months because they were so backed up. In the meantime, we were “investigated.” Oh, and we moved the TV back into the family room because Sarah was bothering everyone else to use their TVs with cable. We figured it was less annoying to have her down there. But that’s all boring legal stuff. Let’s talk about the Soul Party. The Soul Party: July 2007 We had our 4th of July party at the house like we always do. Everyone invites friends and it is a lot of fun. Sarah chose to sit in her room and sulk at all the animals we were killing to celebrate. You know…because BBQ is the same thing as ritual sacrifice. I was kind of hoping she would come down and protest in front of everyone but I guess without Something around she didn’t like to act like a total rear end. So I was kind of disappointed in that one. Lo and behold! Two days later, Something shows up unannounced. Matt said, “poo poo no. That piece of trash isn’t staying here.” Sarah said, “Well if you have a party, I can have a party. And I’m having a party this weekend and Something is here to help me prepare.” “No parties without my approval,” Matt said. “Tell that to the judge. I’m feeling discriminated against.” Did I mention what a loving bitch she was? Yeah. I thought so. Anyway, that Friday I came home from work around 8:30pm to find the other house mates sitting out in the carriage house drinking beer and looking all kinds of pissed off. Matt was inside, they said. Why? Because 12 people (plus Something) had shown up for Sarah’s party, they all brought pillows and blankets so they intended to sleep over. And who were these people? Fellow soulbonders! People she met on the internet! Matt dragged Sarah out of the house and we all confronted her. Something ran behind them like a drunk frat boy chasing a can of Bud. Whatever this poo poo was, it was not going on. He said, “No one in my house that I don’t know.” “You didn’t know their friends,” she said. “Their friends didn’t come from the internet and use fake names.” Oh…that did it. Something laid into Matt. This WAS her real name. This is who she REALLY is and he was insulting her by calling her anything but The Right Bishop Something. Tim said, “I’d like you to try that poo poo at passport control.” “That’s different. That’s not part of my world. That’s my travel INTO my world.” HUH? Is anyone following this logic train? I think I missed my loving stop. “Enough,” Matt said. “You have until 10pm. After that, I’m calling the cops and throwing everyone out.” “But…” “Shut up,” Tim said. “That’s more than gracious. I’d throw all of you out NOW.” “Then you need to go away,” Something said. “This is a religious rite.” “It’s my loving house. I’m going to watch TV,” Matt said and he walked towards the house. Something grabbed his shirt. OH NO SHE DIDN’T. OH YES SHE DID. “You will disturb the something-astral-something.” (I don’t remember exactly what she called it but if we, the unbelievers interrupted their “ceremony” there would be problems.) Matt said, “Take your hands off me before I call the cops NOW.” Sarah started crying. The rest of us just walked into the house. Now, the others had seen her setting up this poo poo but I had just got home. Sarah had darkened the family room by hanging blankets over the windows. She also put a bunch of candles out…and turned the coffee table into some kind of altar. It had a white cloth, candles, books and the expensive silver candlesticks from the dining room. I can promise that she did not have permission to touch those. They are over 100 years old and a family heirloom for Matt. We only use them for the House Christmas Dinner. We all walked into the family room and saw the “soul bond” freaks in there. Some were dressed in cosplay outfits. The boyfriend was there, too. He asked where Sarah was. Dan said, “We just gave her a verbal lashing. She’s outside. Go deal with her.” Matt took the candlesticks from the "altar" and put them away despite the protests of another one of those losers. Then we sat down in the family room that they had commandeered and Tim turned off that retarded game and put on a movie. One of the people said, “I thought we were going to play the game….?” “You’re not. You guys are out of here by 10pm or we’re calling the cops.” “Could we have this room until then?” another one asked. “Nope. We pay rent so we can use our house.” “I was told I could sleep here,” some girl said. “Well, you can’t.” She seemed genuinely scared. Good. “Where can I go?” “A hotel would be a good idea,” I said. “I don’t have money for a hotel.” “You guys send Sarah money, right? I’m sure she has enough.” The group of them just sort of cowered until Something returned. “We are being persecuted for our beliefs by these people.” “You have the room until 10pm,” Matt said. “We’ll be in the kitchen.” We all followed Matt out. Tim said we shouldn’t give in. Matt said, “I want to see this ritual.” We watched from the dining room where we ate pizza. Boyfriend asked us to go somewhere else because they didn’t want us watching. Matt told him to STFU and added, “You have 43 minutes left.” Sarah came downstairs, dressed in a white dress. She kept glancing at us. Something stood between her and us so she couldn’t see us (I guess?) and she began talking. She talked about how this was “Betty’s awakening” and how Betty was now going to finally realize her potential by harnessing the soul of a video game character. I couldn’t stand it. I started cracking up. The rest of the housemates started cracking up. Sarah started screaming at all of us, calling us “racists.” Now…I don’t know how being a soulbonder is a race, but okay. Then we were called "Nazis." Oh, that's lovely. I guess if you're sane and don't believe that you're a video game character/dragon/wart on someone's rear end you're a Nazi. This was better than any kind of TV you can imagine. See if you can picture all of these nutjobs kneeling around the "altar" as the video game played its music in the background. Sarah stood over them, preaching this "religion" and The Right Bishop Something would occassionally interject something "deep" from her position. Sarah was really getting upset, so more of her “friends” made the human wall. We could still hear all the stupid…even after they turned up the volume on that video game. Five minutes before their time was up, Matt shouted, “Calling the cops in five.” “You are being disrespectful,” one of them said. A few bits of profanity were thrown back and forth and then one of the guys in her group threw a punch at Tim. Bad move, dude. Matt called the cops. They showed up 20 minutes later. Matt said, “I want all these losers out of my house.” Tim pressed assault charges on the rear end in a top hat who tried to punch him. Boyfriend complained to the cops that we were persecuting Sarah who had now retreated to her room. Something had run up there. Matt said, “There’s one upstairs that doesn’t live here. Get rid of her, too.” The cops went up there and told Something she had to leave. Something threw a fit. Sarah threw a fit. She was “entitled” to guests! She was “entitled” to practice her faith in peace. The cops said Sarah could stay since she was a tenant but everyone else had to go. Boyfriend said he found hotel rooms nearby. They packed up their altar and crap and headed there. Something escorted Sarah, holding her like a fragile doll. Something had the balls to ask us to help shuttle everyone to the hotel. Ha. I don’t think so! The one that was arrested for assault left with the cops. He eventually pled no contest to the assault and got a fine. We thought after that…she wouldn’t want to stay. But oh, she did. She also filed a frivolous small claims lawsuit on the basis that we had “stolen” her candles and TIME. Yes, her TIME. I guess being a fake priestess in a fake religion is worth $300/hr. Who knew? (The "candles" we stole were the ones that were in Matt's candlesticks when he took them back. He actually brought them to court and gave them back to her in front of the judge) But she would remain. She would remain and continue to be a pain in the rear end. One final note before I get going... Why would someone want to continue to live in a place where they were obviously not welcome? Cost? Location? No. Not for Sarah. Sarah claimed she felt "close to her soulbond" in our house. She claimed that it felt like a house that this guy would live in and that her "soul" was at ease in our home. Next time: Sarah at work, Discrimination claims and more fun with this nutcake. |
| Elara Posts: 4916/9736 |
MORE!!!
Please say you managed to get more of this, I want to know what happened. |
| Stitch Posts: 2428/2785 |
Oh, right, well, here ya go:
Landlord vs. Tenant In the coming months, we would all learn a lot about Landlord/Tenant law in California. (Tim is a lawyer but not real estate, so while he helped as much as he could, he usually had to look stuff up or call in favors from friends) I have to say, although I am a tenant, I now feel for Landlords. The law in this state clearly shows favor to the tenant in all situations. Now, keep the following things in mind…we learned these as we went along and fought this battle for almost a year: *Our situation is legally defined as “owner-occupied, single family dwelling” *We are legally called “lodgers” since we rent rooms, not apartments. *County law requires a C.O. if there are more than 4 people “lodging.” Matt did not have one because he never thought it would become an issue AND he didn’t know he needed one. (This will be important later) *In CA, a Landlord must show “just cause” to evict someone, unless it is a single lodger in an owner-occupied single family dwelling. (Emphasis on SINGLE) *It is illegal to deny housing to anyone with a disability and/or on the basis of their religion. Here is a link to a decent site that consolidates CA Landlord/Tenant law, if you’re interested: http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/...ook/index.shtml Matt Gives Sarah Written Notice A day after Sarah told us we would have to evict her, Matt gave her written notice that she had 30 days to vacate the premises. He did not give a reason, just a date. Sarah decided to confront him that night in front of all of us. “Why are you kicking me out?” “Because you irritate everyone here,” Matt said. “It’s just not working out. You’d be happier in your own place where you can do what you want.” “I can do what I want here.” “No, you can’t.” “No one loving likes you,” Tim said. “You’re crazy, you bring crazy people here and do nothing. We all have jobs and lives that we need to deal with. I don’t want to come home and have to make sure I don’t cook a hamburger while you’re around.” “The smell makes me sick!” Sarah shouted. “Well tough loving poo poo.” Everyone said their piece—mine was that I was really tired of listening to that loving game and her insane babblings. Zack complained about the noise. Apparently she liked to dance around in her room when working on her computer at 2AM. His room was under hers, so he heard all of the noise and music. Carrie said that she was tired of getting yelled at to clean the bathroom. It seems that Sarah cleaned it at least three times a week and that since Carrie didn’t, she would get “notes” under her door. Dan said he just couldn’t respect anyone who scammed money off people and didn’t want to be a party to something like that. “They give it to me because I FOUNDED this sub-culture. I TAUGHT them how to find their true selves!” “There’s no such thing as a sub-culture,” Tim said. “You believe you a male videogame character and the rest of us are stupid for not understanding this, right?” “Well, I have a very high IQ and I’m very intellectual. It’s difficult to relate to me…” Tim laid it out for her: “I graduated first in my class at law school. I’m smart, but I’m not bragging to the world how awesome I am because I can wake up one day and decide I’m a videogame character.” “It’s more than that. I share a soul with him! I relate to him! I understand him!” “And I’m sure lots of other fangirls do, too.” And then Sarah started crying. She ran up to her room. We thought that was it, that she’d be gone, but oh no. Sarah is a Devious Bitch A week later, Matt was called by someone from the Dept of Fair Employment and Housing. Miss Sarah complained that she was being unfairly evicted because of her religious beliefs. He was instructed that someone from their office would be coming to the house for a “discussion” as part of their investigation. So this guy shows up a few days later, and sits down with Matt, Tim and I. First off, he wants to see Matt’s C.O. (certificate of occupancy). Matt says he doesn’t have one. Tim said that it was a private residence and we were just friends that were sharing the place. The guy asks if we pay rent. Tim said, “We help pay taxes and upkeep but not rent.” So then the guy wants to know how we are discriminating against Sarah. We told him the whole story and he kept cracking up. Tim said, “This is a private residence and we just don’t want to put up with someone like that.” The guy said he dismiss her complaint since her “religion” was obviously a scam but he warned that this wasn’t “private residence” any more and that Matt needed to get a C.O. as soon as possible because if Sarah tried to claim discrimination again, it could very well be an issue. Matt Works on Getting the C.O. & Sarah Gets More Money Getting a C.O. requires an inspection and a whole bunch of other headaches I was glad I didn’t have to deal with. Matt made all the arrangements from his work because he was afraid that Sarah might pick up on the fact that he didn’t have one and cause more problems. Still, he didn't have it by the end of May. (This will be a problem later) As the month wound to a close, Sarah was still being a pain in the rear end but she was at least taking her pills. She wasn’t completely delusional but none of us really wanted to talk to her anymore. Matt decided to piss her off by taking the TV out of the family room. He warned us before he did it—none of us cared since we either had our own sets in our rooms, bought them or in Dan’s case didn’t watch TV unless it was soccer. Sarah had a poo poo fit. She didn’t have a TV. She couldn’t “get lost in her world.” So what did she do? She started asking her loser friends for money. She also started selling her fanfiction and essays on soulbonding. She used one of those lousy self-publish sites where no one checks what you’re actually publishing. She asked me to do the cover for her. I told her it would cost her $200. She said, “Consider it a donation to the cause! You’re a furry! You know how fandom supports each other.” I told her I am NOT a furry. I just draw furry art. I wouldn’t want to be called a furry after some of the things that furries do—just as I was certain there were “soul bonders” who didn’t want to be called that after what she does. A week later she had a TV delivered. It was a nice one—probably set her soul bond freak friends back $600 or so. Then she complains there’s no cable in her room, but she pays the cable bill. (Some rooms have it, others don’t and since when she moved in she picked her room knowing there wasn’t any) Anyway…she told Matt he had to get it installed for her since she was paying for it. He told her she could keep the $10/month for the cable but that he wasn’t paying for that and that he didn’t want his house ripped up while they run a line. She said she had a right to cable. A right to cable? Is that like a right to porn? And that looks like a good place to stop for now. Coming up in future episodes: Sarah at work, the Soul Party and Sarah Fights Back |
| Lord Vulkas Mormonus Posts: 3182/4541 |
You already posted that.
Again... more pls k thnx bibi |
| Stitch Posts: 2426/2785 |
See post after Vulkar's. |
| Lord Vulkas Mormonus Posts: 3181/4541 |
mre pls
k thnx bibi! |
| Stitch Posts: 2389/2785 |
More
April 2007: Sarah Gets a Job She managed to get a job doing software testing, ironically where our former housemate (the one who married) worked. I’ll tell you more about her “work ethic” in a future post…suffice it to say she was shocked to learn your boss gets mad when you update your “I’m a video game character” blog from work. Anyway, since she had started taking the meds she was actually decent to be around and stopped being a complete and total freak. I didn’t hear the retarded chimes of that video game in the family room, either. There was a week between her getting the job and starting the job and this required her going for drug testing and stuff. I drove her to do that and when we were leaving she asked if I would take her to the airport the next day. I asked, “Why?” Oh, because her boyfriend had sent her cash for a plane ticket to come and see him for the weekend. Smart. The weekend before you start a new job, you travel. Brilliant. I told her I would but she would have to give me gas money since the airport is about an hour from the house. She said, “But I have no money.” I told her to stop lying. I knew she was making money off her “I am such a gifted intellectual who is a video game character and its my religion” blog. She shrugged. “It was worth a try,” she smirked. Oh yes. She was a devious bitch. She leaves for the weekend and then her flight back Sunday night gets delayed…by four hours. She didn’t get in until 2AM and hadn’t asked anyone to pick her up. So, what does she do? She calls the house. Tim answered the phone and told her to take a cab. When she got home at 4AM after finding a cab, she started yelling and screaming, waking everyone up. She cursed everyone and told us we were not being sensitive to her needs! Matt asked her point blank if she was taking her meds. She said, “No because my boyfriend says they are bad for me!” Tim told her to “grow the gently caress up and get back on the pills.” The rest of us returned to our rooms while she threw a fit. Stuff was pulled out of the cabinets. Carrie said she smashed a few of her coffee mugs. Cabinets slammed. She broke a window with a wooden spoon. When I left for work later that morning, she was sitting in a heap in the family room playing her game. I left her there. So much for her first day at work. She called in sick. Nice impression. Matt came home from work and told her she had two choices: Go with him to see his shrink friend again or he was calling the cops about all the breakage. She did. The next morning she got up and went to work. That evening she apologized to all of us and offered to pay for the broken stuff when she got her first check. Everyone just nodded. She said her boyfriend was coming to visit for a weekend the following week. Tim said, “You better stay on those drat pills.” The Boyfriend Sarah worked those four days and then the following week, putting us in the middle of April. Then her boyfriend arrived. He was a nice guy and we couldn’t figure out what he was doing with such a headcase. But, of course, you guessed it…he was one of those soulbonders. Except, he believed he was a dragon. That’s right. A loving dragon. Tim asked him to breathe fire. Apparently that was offensive to him, but he had a better humor about it than Sarah. And, he didn’t claim to have PTSD like Sarah did. Sarah went crazy cleaning before he came. She told Carrie to vacuum her room because Boyfriend was allergic to “just about everything.” Carrie replied that Boyfriend was not invited into her room so it shouldn’t be an issue. Sarah said, “Even the dust from over there will cause him to break out.” Carrie told her to stuff it. Sarah also had the gall to tell Matt that his dogs couldn’t be in the house while Boyfriend was there. Matt told her, “I like my dogs more than your Boyfriend. He can sleep outside.” One interesting thing about him was that he called Sarah by her video-game name, which is decisively male. Dan asked him if he was gay. That pissed him off, but it was still funny. Sarah whined that we weren’t being very nice to her guest. Dan said, “Why should we be? Last one you brought home stayed way too long and this guy just pays for you to live in a delusion.” Oh, that set the boyfriend off. Didn’t we know that plenty of people in the world were “soulbonders” and “otherkin” and that we were “racists.” Now, I don’t know how those “demographic groups” qualify as a race but okay. He said we were harassing Sarah and that we better watch it. Matt said, “I’ve been making sure your girlfriend has been getting her medicine that she needs. You should be more thankful.” Then the boyfriend started off on how medicating someone like Sarah was wrong and just a way for the drug companies to make money. He said that the drugs stunted Sarah’s creativity. Tim said, “You mean her craziness? Because normal people do not believe they are gender bent video game characters.” A day later, the boyfriend left. We were now about a week and half from Sarah’s supposed departure. Sarah Plays Hardball On night while we were watching a ball game on TV and Sarah was whining that she wanted to “get lost in her world” because she had a hard day at work, Tim asked “When are you leaving?” She said, “I’m not.” Matt said, “I told you that you had to be out by May 1. And since you’re a month to month tenant.” “You didn’t give me enough notice,” she said. “I only have to give a month’s notice,” Matt said. “I don’t have it writing,” she replied. “I don’t do written leases,” Matt said. “I only do month to month and over 30 days ago we all told you we wanted you out.” “Then you’ll have to evict me,” she said. …and this is where the real fun began. |
| Lord Vulkas Mormonus Posts: 3172/4541 |
Seems like she's getting better. I'm jsut waiting until she turns into a psychopath and blows up the house.
But knowing her she'll just whine and get mad. |
| Stitch Posts: 2385/2785 |
The people that had it up there removed it because they were being harassed by the ex-roommate. Luckily, I managed to grab most of it before it all disappeared. I just don't have part seven, and they even mentioned at some point that they were cool with someone adapting it into something else. So, I might just head that route. Anyway, part III:
March 2007: Something Overstays Her Welcome Something’s visit started at seven days, or at least that’s what were told. Remember, we were not given an option on this. Something just showed up. Anyway, after Sarah’s break down, Something changed her* plane ticket. Airline tickets are expensive. Changing an international airline ticket is insanely expensive. How was Something affording this? She didn’t seem like anyone who has ever held down a real job. Hmm….things were getting stranger and stranger. *Something was definitely female but insisted on being referred to as male, like her “souled” character. I’ll call Something a she because she was physically female. The housemates began to get annoyed that Something decided to crash here for another 10 days AND we were not told until Something herself told Matt, “I’m staying.” Oh REALLY? How can you decide you’re staying? Matt said, “So nice of you to decide that my house is your house.” She said, “I have to take care of Sarah! She hasn’t come out of her room since you told her that she has to leave! I’ve been bringing her food and making sure she takes care of herself up there!” “That’s a lie,” Matt said. “I’ve seen the two of you down here using the TV to play games.” “But she’ll only come out if I’m with her!” “I don’t even know your real name,” Matt answered. “I know you were not born with the name you use and I don’t trust people who can’t even tell me their real name.” Something gave him some story about how she was this Bishop and how everything he was saying was an insult to her religion. She spent about 20 minutes trying to explain this "religion" of "soulbonding" to Matt, Zack and I. Finally, Matt told her could stay the 10 days but after that, she was going to a hotel or he was calling the cops. Then, he told her that he wanted to talk to Sarah that evening. Something said she would relay the message. Matt’s Meeting With Sarah Matt told Sarah that Something was annoying the household and that she was taking advantage of his good nature by keeping her there. He also offered to take her to see a psychiatrist who was a friend of his that he met working through the school. He said she wouldn’t have to pay a thing because his friend agreed to see her as a favor to him. She reluctantly accepted. The next morning, Matt took Sarah to the doctor while Something fretted about not being allowed to go. Sarah asked for her to come, but Matt said no. Something spent the better part of that morning whining to everyone who was in the house. She flopped down on the sofa and said that she had a “right” to be there with Sarah because Sarah had “shown her path” and she needed to “give back” to her friend in need. Zack told her to grow up…and Zack rarely talks to anyone he doesn’t know. I asked her how Sarah could afford to live here. She said that was “Sarah’s business.” I said it was our business and since she was Sarah’s mouthpiece I expected an answer. She said when Sarah got back she would have her tell us. It was like talking to a five year old. Matt brought Sarah back—keep in mind he took a day out of work to run this favor for her—and she went to her room. Something followed. Matt said he couldn’t tell us exactly what happened since Sarah saw the shrink by herself, but he did take her to a pharmacy afterwards. In the next few days, Sarah changed. She didn’t spend hours in front of the TV or the computer. She smiled, she talked to us, and she even told Something to give it a rest when Something wanted to talk about “forming their Army” again. Whatever drugs she was taking were working… About a full week later, Sarah started filling out job applications online and emailing her resume. She actually seemed to be tired of Something’s presence. One evening while a bunch of us were in the kitchen, I asked how she was able to afford all this without working. She said, plain as can be: “I have people offer me donations on my blog so I can spread the news of my religion.” Her religion being that she is actually a male video game character from a game that came out in the 90s. WHAT? So there are some morons out there who are giving money to Sarah so she can pretend to be a videogame character and teach others how to do the same?!?!?! Something said, “We give her things because she has helped us find our true selves.” “So you don’t work either?” Tim asked. I could tell he was ready to explode. “No, I get government benefits in the UK.” “Why?” “Because I don’t like to work.” Ok. No one likes to work.If given the option, I bet just about everyone in the world would say, "I'd rather being doing X but I need money so I do Y." But asking people to donate to you so you can travel around and sit on your rear end...that's just wrong. Even worse...there are people out there who do it! Sarah's boyfriend is apparently the worst enabler in this group. According to Something, he bought her a car (that she sold), plane tickets and sends her money on a regular basis. And I thought some of the people I met at furrycons were stupid… Something Leaves, Sarah Gets a Job Finally, Something left. I was almost cheering as Zack took them to the airport. Then, the very next day Sarah had good news—she had an interview for job as a tester at a software company. Matt asked her if she had started to look for a new place because it was now April. She said she had looked at some places online but needed to visit them in person. Even Tim offered to give her rides to check them out. So what do you think happened next? Ooo…the story is just getting started…Sarah screwed us all royally…not to mention her job. Oh, that’s a story in and of itself. So, more after this as well... |
| Lord Vulkas Mormonus Posts: 3162/4541 |
I tried to find the rest of this on the internet, but alas, Livejournal deleted it all.
Post more! |
| Stitch Posts: 2382/2785 |
Well, again, it's not really a story. It's taken from a community where people post about their crappy roommates.
Continuing: Insane Housemate, Part II Jul. 17th, 2008 at 4:55 PM We last found our hated heroine picketing our BBQ... I showed the other housemates this post and they began giving me more stories that I was not aware of involving Sarah. Carrie has some especially good ones since they were on the same floor and shared a bathroom. I now have lots of material to entertain you with…let’s hope I have time to type it all up. Before I get back to the sick, sad story that is Sarah, I will answer some questions that came up in comments and private-messages. 1. No, we are not looking for a new housemate. 2. The game Sarah was obsessed with was called Swekodan. I am not sure of the spelling, but that’s what it sounds like. 3. I won’t tell you the character name since she legally changed her last name to the character’s last name. 4. Yes, the character is apparently male. Yes, Sarah is definitely female. 5. Yes, I used to be on LJ but since I am furryporn/hentai artist I left during boldout. I only read comms these days but after seeing this one highlighted I had to share my story of sad. 6. She moved in during February of 2007. I should have mentioned that while posting the story. And to simplify things here are the players in this crazy game: The Housemates Pete, that’s me. I’m a retail manager. Matt, the landlord. He works as a high school guidance counselor. Carrie, mechanical engineer and only female until Sarah came along. Zack, computer engineer, works for a major software design company. Very quiet. Dan, professional petsitter. He’s never home because he’s so busy. Tim, attorney. He speaks his mind all the time. The Insane People Sarah, a girl who believes she is a male videogame character and the rest of the world are ignorant fools. Unemployed. Something, a girl from the UK who believes she is a man and also a video game character. Sarah’s friend she met online. Boyfriend. Sarah’s boyfriend who lives in another part of the state. So where did we leave off? Oh yes, the BBQ… The Emissary and the House Meeting, March 2007 Following the incident at the BBQ, Sarah retreated to her room and would send Something out to procure her food. This seclusion went on for two days until Something came downstairs bearing a letter from Sarah. The letter asked us all to meet with her that evening. Matt agreed to have a house meeting and all of us were there, even Dan, who is rarely home. We sat in the family room and waited for Sarah to arrive at the appointed time. She and Something made quite a show. They came downstairs together, Sarah wrapped in a blanket and wearing her PJs and leaning on Something. Something prefaced the meeting with some nonsense about how everything said in the room was not to leave the room, how we had to be careful of Sarah’s mental state and how we must approach things with an open mind. No, I don’t think so. You’re invading MY space and wasting MY time with your crazy. Matt said, “We will listen to you. I cannot promise anything else.” Sarah lifted her head and started to talk. She started with, “I am sorry but you have to understand where I am coming from.” She also said, “Lots of people cannot understand me because I have such a high intellect it is beyond their grasp.” Excuse us for being SANE, bitch. Anyway, from there we heard about various things including: 1. Her parents were awful to her because they didn’t understand her. They didn’t accept her as this video game character and her father threatened to disown her after she changed her name. All her mother wanted was a doll to dress up and give lots of presents. It wasn’t fair that they couldn’t accept her for what she was. 2. The kids in middle school picked on her and this caused her to have problems. It wasn’t fair that people picked on her because she was different. Aww…who didn’t get ripped on in middle school? Get over it. 3. The only people who understand her are her online friends who also believe they are videogame characters. They have created their own “safe haven” and since she started the “soul bonding movement” she has had lots of followers. 4. She used to belong to fandom but left because people trivialized her “alter ego” and used him in porn. (At this point I really, really wanted to look the guy up and draw him getting anally raped by tentacles and toilet plungers and then post it on the fridge, but I just didn’t have the time) We listened. We nodded. Most of us refrained from rolling our eyes. Matt asked, “Are you receiving professional help?” She said she didn’t have insurance so she hadn’t been able to get in to see anyone lately. This raised a flag with Tim. He asked, “Didn’t your job give you insurance?” And then the truth began to come out. She never had a job. She never lived in the state. She lived on the east coast and decided that CA would be more accepting of her. She started looking online for a place to stay and found us. To get past our “screenings” she had an online friend who worked at a programming company pretend to be her boss. The driver’s license she faxed us for the background check was legit—kind of. She visited CA and used another internet friends’ address as her own to get her license. We asked her to leave. Matt even offered to let her stay there for April (since she paid for it) and give her that $500 back when she moved out by May 1. She started to cry. Something tried to stick up for her but Dan told her to shut up—she didn’t live here. They went back upstairs and we all thought that was the end of it and that she would be gone come May 1. But oh, it was not. She did not leave. She caused many more problems… Next time… We learn how she’s paying for everything…among other things. |
| Cyro Xero Posts: 1476/1779 |
Heh, that's some story. And to think there are actually people like that. |
| Stitch Posts: 2374/2785 |
This isn't really a story, but it is writing and it is entertainment. In a community on LJ, a few people posted about their uniquely creepy roommate who believed that she was the reincarnation of one of the characters from Suikoden.
I will bring you the horror, in small installments of bite-size read-ness. Note: This is not my story, this is not my roommate. Insane Housemate, Part I Jul. 15th, 2008 at 2:49 PM I used to live in an awesome situation in SoCal…until the housemate from hell moved in. Fortunately she has left, but the bitterness remains on my tongue. It is a saga that can only be told in pieces. Please bear with me. In the cut you will find part one of the saga involving the girl who believed she was a video game character. Living Situation Our house was owned by a guy named “Matt.” It had been in his family for generations and it was beautiful! It has four floors AND a carriage house. On the first floor are the two formal rooms, Matt’s bedroom, bath and his den, this HUGE kitchen, a powder room, a butler’s pantry, a wrap around porch and two “open” rooms that are for everyone’s use. On the next few floors are the housemate’s rooms and baths as well as two extra rooms. One is called “the game room” since it has a pool table and the other is called “the lodge” since it contains all of the mounted animals Matt’s grandfather hunted. There are currently five housemates, plus Matt. We all have our own rooms and the run of the house. Matt is very particular about who he rents rooms to, which is a good thing. Some of the requirements are: professionals only (no students or kids working as waitresses while trying to make it big), no one under 25, no people with children and no pets other than Matt’s two dogs. Matt also insists that all current housemates agree upon the person we rent to. And, for all of this, we only pay $500 a month, including utilities. In the house we currently have a lawyer, two engineers, a high school guidance counselor, a professional pet sitter and a manager of a retail store. (Matt is the counselor, I am the manager) Anyway…all was fine until Roommate #6 left the house to get married. We were all sad to see her go and decided to wait a bit before replacing her. Since the house is paid for, all of the rent goes towards maintenance, taxes and general upkeep, so there wasn’t a rush. After a few months went by, we started the search. We received over 500 inquires and had 153 people fill out our “online application” that the lawyer set up. We tossed out the students and those who clearly did not meet our requirements, dropping the number of potentials down to about 50. We asked those 50 to send us their bosses’ phone number so we could verify their employment and contact information for their current landlord. Following that, the number of acceptables dropped down to 17. Still not in a hurry, we phoned all 17 and interviewed them. Cutting the number to five, we paid to run background checks. Finally, we met them in person and then the housemates came to a consensus of our top three candidates. And we made our decision to allow “Sarah” to live with us. It was the biggest mistake ever. Sarah Sarah seemed to fit the bill. She was a programmer for a computer company (or so we were led to believe). She was 27 years old. She had a boyfriend but he lived in another part of the state. She was well spoken, seemed nice and quiet. She appeared to be the perfect fit for our house. WRONG. Everything about Sarah was a lie; even her name. When she had us run the background check, she gave us two names. Apparently she had legally changed it at some point. Ok, no problem. Matt did not pry as to WHY she changed her name, and the rest of us thought it was none of our business. Still, both names came up clean. But there were more lies…many many more… Sarah Moves In On the day she moved in, she arrived in cab with luggage. It didn’t seem odd, but she still had baggage tags on the luggage. She explained she had flown back east to visit her parents between the move out of her old place and move in here. Ok. Understandable. A few days later, her stuff arrived. She had hired a major moving company to haul it for her. That went fine. She said she was taking a few days off from work to unpack. We thought nothing of this. Until the following week when she “went to work” only to come home in tears saying she had been laid off. We felt for her and Matt told her not to worry since she had paid three months in advance. Everyone in the house offered to pass her resume around work, but she didn’t seem very thankful. She decided that she was going to apply to various game and computer companies in the area. One of the engineers who lives with us works for one and offered to help her get her foot in the door. He asked for her resume to pass around. She flubbed around saying it was on her computer and she hadn’t unpacked it yet, but she would get it to him in the next few days. The next few days she started to show her oddness. She complained that there was meat in the fridge and that she was a vegetarian. Matt told her she could keep her food in the carriage house fridge if she was concerned about that, but that most people here ate meat and that she would have to get over it. She whined and moped like a two year old. Matt, being the one to make peace, cleaned out his college fridge that he kept in his private den for his wine and offered it to her. Sarah scoffed at the thought that her food would fit in such a fridge, but accepted it and put it in the butler’s pantry. A week passed and she still didn’t have a resume. Matt asked her if she needed help writing one. She said no, she had one, but she was going to visit her boyfriend that weekend so she didn’t have time to think about a job. Odd, that one who is unemployed would buy a plane ticket and fly north for a few days, right? Right. She left and we decided that when she returned we would give her a “welcome” meal. We made a whole bunch of food—lots of it vegetarian—and when she showed up she just shook her head at the fact that we had also made meat. Matt assured her the meat and veggies had been cooked separately. She said, “It doesn’t matter. You are prolonging your existence on this Earth at the expense of another.” The others and I were quite horrified at her rudeness, but we kept it ourselves. Sarah and Videogames In the three weeks that followed, Sarah was still unemployed. She spent all her time playing video games in the family room. She would play the same game over and over—some crappy looking RPG from the 90s. It has an unpronounceable name, but Sarah said she was “bonded” to the game. She also told us that she changed her name to be that of one of the game characters. Upon further discussion, she explained that she believed she was the human incarnation of this character and that they shared a soul. RIGHT. A week later, she announced she was leaving again, this time going to the UK to visit an online friend. Still no job. She was still doing nothing but playing video games, complaining, dicking around on the computer and sleeping. That’s it. Still trying to find a way to bring her into the group, I even took her to the airport. About 24 hours later there is a frantic phone call from Sarah to the house. It seemed that she was denied entry into the UK. What? That’s like being denied entry into Canada. That’s just sad. I picked her up at the airport after she was deported and tried to talk to her. I couldn’t get much out of her because she was a blithering, crying mess, but apparently UK officials looked through her laptop and that had greatly upset her. She also said they took her bag with her medication so she couldn’t control her emotional problems. Oh. Emotional problems. Well, that explains A LOT. She asked me to not tell the others about her needing medicine to keep sane. I said I wouldn’t tell them but I suggested she do that since the others were kind of losing their patience with her. Trying to be Nice She was still unemployed and still had not produced a resume for everyone to pass around, and I felt sorry for her. So, I offered her a job at the store I worked at as a part-time cashier. She said she didn't like dealing with customers (who does?) and that she was "over qualified" for the job. WHAT? Yes, everyone is over-qualified to ring on a register, but when you need money, you need money, right? Nice way to show gratitude. The UK Comes to Sarah So it’s the middle of the second month and Sarah still hasn’t found a job and doesn’t seem to be looking. She tells us she is having a houseguest for a week. Matt tells her that all guests staying more than three days need everyone’s approval. She complains and says this is “for her mental health.” The guest is the person she was trying to visit in the UK. We all tell her that we have heavy work schedules that week so if she needs to get places she will need to use the bus or cabs. (She is the only one without a car) She says fine. The guest arrives. The guest introduces herself as “The Right Bishop Something.” I laugh, thinking it’s a joke. Apparently it is not. This person thinks she is actually this bishop whose name I can’t pronounce or spell so “Something” will be his or her or it’s name. She also thinks she’s a man. But that’s another story… Something and Sarah spend the week playing video games, sleeping, playing on the computer and eating everyone else’s food. I learned that week that Bishop Something was another character in another video game. Apparently these people are sharing their craziness online, and apparently there are more of them. There's liking something. There's fanning something. And then...there's this insanity. Anyway, the fourth night of Something’s visit, one of the engineers decided to BBQ in honor of Matt’s birthday. We always do something decent for Matt since he is the best landlord ever. I made a cake, the lawyer got some really nice wine (he collects it), and the other engineer helped cook because she’s awesome like that. We invited Sarah and Something to join us and Engineer #2 even offered to make them veggie burgers that she had bought especially for them. They turned down the offer and instead made protest signs and wandered around muttering something about being pacifists but still willing to call in their Army to destroy us for BBQ. This was apparently very funny to them, but none of us got the joke. After about 20 minutes of their chanting around us as we tried to eat, the lawyer told them to “grow the gently caress up, get new meds for your insanity and leave us in peace.” Sarah started to cry and scream that no one understand her and how she hates it when people assume because she doesn’t “conform to the norm” that she is “insane.” Something rushed to her aide but not before telling us that we were horrible people and that didn’t we know that Sarah suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for being teased incessantly in grade school? Matt, always the voice of reason, said, “You cannot get PTSD from being teased. You get PTSD from being raped, from being a witness to a violent crime or from being in war.” Something started to argue with him when Sarah reappeared. She cried and said she was going to sue Matt for making her living environment “hostile.” He just nodded to her and started eating his BBQ. And this is where the real fun begins…tune in next time… Stay tuned for Part II next time... |
