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| Katana Posts: 3371/3649 |
**was one of those babies**
I agree with the "middle ground" when it comes to help. No one held my mom's hand, but *I* was helped a great deal growing up, because my parents couldn't, and I am eternally grateful, and I break my back for all of those who stood in for me (that are still alive, that is, cuz most of 'em aren't.) But there's a line between actual help and enabling, and it can be difficult to see. My older sisters and my younger sister? I love my nieces and nephews. And my great-niece. All of them. Very VERY much. I've given up A LOT for them. But after baby number one, there shouldn't have been more. My mom, on the other hand, was lucky enough to "get it" and did not have more after me. (And when she tried, she was in a position to do so.) Point is, if you really want input, there's plenty here. There's reason to be happy about this kinda thing sometimes too. 
But I'm with you on feigning surprise.  I had to learn to not laugh in my sisters' faces at a VERY young age...if you can keep faking it, you truly are the man. |
| Rogue Posts: 8502/11918 |
Originally posted by Elara That's because this shit can get extremely entertaining when it's not happening to you or someone about whom you care.
I figure when we've reached the age when most of the pregnancies that are happening around us call for congratulations and celebrations, instead of "Oh shit!" and "LOL, what a dumbass!" comments, we're old. Still, can't help but feel sorry for these babies that didn't ask to be born and have to go without both parents because of stupid drama. |
| Elara Posts: 7710/9736 |
Poor Chef. This displeases me.
And why is there a small part of me that say "make some popcorn and watch the show"? Am I a bad person for this? |
| Rogue Posts: 8485/11918 |
Originally posted by Elara Bingo! You know the story, right? She got pregnant after saying that she supposedly couldn't, they lost the baby, then she told him it would take a few months before she could possibly get pregnant again so they still wouldn't need to use protection and then she was knocked up two months later. Her pregnancy was also why Chef had to leave the band and move up to Sacramento to live with HER parents -- she stopped working when she got pregnant and then he lost his job and couldn't afford to pay for the apartment any more. Anyway... Originally posted by Elara Yeah, that's a story that's told far too often (I have five friends with kids that have uninvolved dads -- in Christina's case, the dad's involved, but he's rather shitty at it. Playing computer games while Jayne cuts her hair with his scissors [even putting her hair IN HIS LAP while she's telling him about it and he kept ignoring her!!!]. And then he went and bought her her own scissors so she wouldn't use his any more? WTF!!  ), most especially with young girls.
I mean, chances are he'll make a show of trying to be a father some time during the pregnancy and then right after the birth, but his attention will fizzle and sense of responsibility will fade and he'll go a-wandering again. |
| Elara Posts: 7699/9736 |
Originally posted by Rogue Please say Chef wasn't the one hooked. That aside, yeah... the hurricane is coming. And my bets are on the dad going "What? Oh fuck no!" I wouldn't say don't help her at all, just don't do it because she expects it. I mean, if the kid is starving or something, obviously help. But yeah. Morons. |
| Bitmap Posts: 7751/7838 |
Originally posted by Rogue And believe me. It's-a-comin' dude. The one thing that comes with having kids at that age is lots and lots of support. And most dumbass families actually give in to that. As horrible as this sounds; please do not give in to helping her help her kids. Right now she has little to no doors to choose from and she is NOT going to like taking them. But she has to. Let's just hope the father is going to man up and help take care of the child. |
| Rogue Posts: 8483/11918 |
Heh, I know exactly what you're talking about. My boyfriend's 17-year-old sister just had a kid, and of course, she's having an ongoing drama with the father.
On top of that, there's three other pregnant "women" in my life at the moment -- none of them are married (well, one of them just got married. Her pregnancy, however, was an obvious attempt to hook the guy into marriage) or ready for the responsibility. You're right. It's not your problem. Just smile and try your best to avoid the inevitable shitstorm that's coming. |
| Astrophel Posts: 2479/2724 |
See title.
*Astrophel shakes his head. I have no idea how anyone in my family would be surprised by it at this point. The legally blind would mock them for not seeing it coming. Given all the smoking that goes on in that house, I have some concerns about the kid's health, but it's not like that's going to stop them. Meh. As mean as this may sound, it's not my problem. Dumbass brought it on herself. I'm just slightly annoyed. |
