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Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Beginning of Story | |
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DarkBeloved

Swordfighter








Since: 05-10-07
From: Cali

Since last post: 6202 days
Last activity: 6112 days
Posted on 07-30-07 01:23 AM Link | Quote
((I posted this beginning in hopes of getting a lil feedback on how its sound, it is only the beginning but I want to make sure its sounding ok))


“Uh, Earth to Lexa, Earth to Lexa…….Come in Lexa can you hear me?” said a pretty brunette in a half amused tone.
She was looking across the table to another young girl who had her head in her palms, which lay on the table. The brunette had a pale face, deep golden eyes and a slender face. She stared hard now at the other girl, who had longer blonde hair. The table they sat at was located in a small coffee shop, and it was clearly night, for only the low lights of the place kept out the darkness of the outside. Not a lot of people were in this coffee shop tonight, and It was quiet as they sat together in the corner.
“I stopped listening to you an hour ago” was the muffled response of the blonde, her head still resting in her palms.
The brunette frowned and shook her head, the little curls falling off her shoulder, “we’ve only been here for an hour” she exclaimed. The blonde finally lifted her head, her face shaper then the brunettes. She had green eyes and plump red lips.
She looked tired and blinked sleepily as she responded again, “exactly Nicole”
The other girls eyes got wide as she threw her arms up and said plainly, “Fine, I tried” she replaced her hands around the mug she had in front of her and raised it to her lips.
They both sat there looking at each other, then the blonde spoke softly, “How is work going?”
The brunette named Nicole shrugged and said, “Same ole same ole, but good, never bad” She smiled slightly. The blonde returned the smile and nodded in response. Nicole placed her cup down and put her hands to her chin, resting her head on her arms, “How is work for you, sending you anywhere interesting anytime soon?”
“Ah, fine.” she replied leaning back in the chair, “and actually, they are sending me somewhere”
The brunettes eyes widened again and she said excitedly, “Oh, and where is this place they are sending you?”
“Greece” the blonde said a little more awake then she sounded earlier.
“Oh Lexa that is so cool,” she smiled , “Lucky!”
Lexa, the blonde, just laughed. She then swept up the bill and looked around, “I need to get back to the lab before Chad leaves”
The brunette wagged her eyebrows, “Chad uh?”
“Yes Nicole, he is my co-worker, got it”
“Yes, of course, what else could he, I mean would he be?”
Lexa stood and said sarcastically, “Oh yeah, act all innocent, but I’ve known you since we were four and I can tell when your mind is working out little schemes and ideas” Nicole followed suit and stood. It was clear they had a lot of differences physically. While Lexa was just under six feet tall, Nicole was just over five feet tall. Lexa had a more athletic build, with curves whereas her friend was more on the slender side. However it was there differences that made these two stand out when they were together, they complimented each other graciously. They were best friends since preschool and grew up together. Though they had gone off to different colleges, Lexa becoming a paleontologist and Nicole a chef, they had moved into the same town again and started back where they had left off. They walked towards the front of their favorite coffee shop to pay the bill, chattering along the way. They quickly exchanged money with the half balding cashier and were outside on the city street.

It was a less populated side of town, not many homes nor businesses were by, making it quite rural. They had fallen in love with this town and found it worked best for both of them. Though Nicole worked more towards the busy city, Lexa worked at the museum in the small town. “Well, thanks for the coffee girl, and the talk” Lexa said buttoning up her long black coat. Winter had just arrived and the breeze was biting at them now. Nicole raised an eyebrow and responded, “Yeah, if you even heard a word I said”
“Of course not” Lexa teased
“Your lucky I love you like a sister” Nicole said as she bent in for a hug.
“I know I know” Lexa responded, leaning in and putting her arm over her friends shoulder to seal the hug.
They stood there for a few seconds then finally both pulled back, their noses red from the chill. Their gazes locked on one another, both smiling and huddling in their jackets.
“Call me” Nicole said
“I always do” Lexa responded then started to walk across the street to her car.
“Yes but still, anytime remember that, I am always there for you”
“And I thank you Nicole, I’d be lost without you”
“I’m glad we both realize that too” Nicole joked as she headed toward the corner of the block that would take her to her apartments.
“Night” Lexa called
“Night” Nicole responded and disappeared around the corner.
Lexa walked quickly to her car and slid in, shivering, as she struggled with the keys of her black Jetta. She turned the knob on the heater to full blast and sped away from the curve. She drove in the direction of the Museum she worked at, even in the dark, knowing exactly where she was from habit. The streets deserted, her car the only thing moving amongst the forested highway.

“Oh crap, I forgot to tell Nicole about the--” she stopped mid sentence and looked ahead of her at the road that disappeared into the darkness. A pair of yellow eyes looked seemingly right at her, from a face of light grey fur. Lexa stared at the wolf that stood on the side of the road, her car coming up to it quickly. It didn’t move or anything, and seemed to really look right at her, though she knew that was impossible, her windows being very tinted. She found she was barely breathing when as she came upon it, the wolf was gone. There was no trace, no figure of it running back into the woods, that told her it had been real. Was It looking right at me? She questioned the occurrence as she neared the museum, her mind trying to put together the Image of it standing there on the side of the road, almost purposefully and then its quick disappearance without a single trace. She shook her head, trying to clear it and make sense of that wolf. It was so beautiful. She thought and turned onto the road towards the museum finally, the white building looking like a shadow up ahead.

Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 99 days
Last activity: 99 days
Posted on 07-30-07 01:50 AM Link | Quote
Interesting. I think you switch which one is the tall one during the story though. Other than that my only comment was on the sentence, "There was no trace, no figure of it running back into the woods, that told her it had been real." The last comma I think can be taken out so that the sentence flows better.

But yes, I do hope that you post more of this story.
DarkBeloved

Swordfighter








Since: 05-10-07
From: Cali

Since last post: 6202 days
Last activity: 6112 days
Posted on 07-30-07 08:50 PM Link | Quote
thanks! Im hoping during summer I can write more it ^^
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 99 days
Last activity: 99 days
Posted on 08-02-07 06:14 PM Link | Quote
That is always a good goal for the summer. I started re-editing my story... if you ever want to take a look at it let me know. The original is like on the 2nd or 3rd last page here, along with the rest of my work.
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