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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - I need.... an unbiased opinion. |
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Belial Bazu         Since: 01-29-05 From: New Zealand Since last post: 4364 days Last activity: 3978 days |
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| My brother recently came home for leave from the army. He hasn't changed a bit, other than manners, responsibility and posture. It kind of made me wonder if the military would be a good thing for me. So, naturally, I asked my husband what he thought about me being in the military. .....Big mistake.
He began his angry rant about how he doesn't like what the military stands for. He doesn't like how you don't have much of a choice where you get to go when it comes to war... any of it. He then proceeded to tell (or yell, rather), that he wouldn't stand having his wife in the military and would divorce me if I enlisted. All because he doesn't agree with it.... which is significant, I guess... but I married him because I thought he would stand beside me in all my decisions. So, yeah.... this is where I'm at. I feel that I would do excellent in the military, and would love to join the Navy and travel around and see new things. I'm already pursuing nursing, and what better way could I get a nursing degree, let alone, for free, and half the time? I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this, especially my husband, brother, mom or other family... and it hurts to know that my husband really wouldn't stand behind me in all my choices... |
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| Belial... if you really want to go for it.. by all means go for it. I went for it and look at me.. college student about to live the dream of being an officer... There's just a couple of things about the military that I don't like..
1. You don't have much of a choice of where you go... SOMETIMES you get the lucky break like I did... TWICE. I didn't get deployed because I'm going cadet and my 1st Sergeant wants me to go for it... 2. You get screwed over... a lot... but you learn to get used to it. Think of it like this "you get up in the morning to work" What ever it is... you and your husband have to work on the entire thing all together okay? I know you're thinking about joining a military force, but you gotta think which one suits you the most. Personally I would've gone Air Force... but I chose Army because they just seemed a bit more badass. =P |
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FX Zombie Marco Since: 03-24-06 Since last post: 3829 days Last activity: 3725 days |
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| I can't really say anything about whether or not you should go, but your husband is just afraid of losing you and is overreacting. That's all. | |||
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| It really sounds like he's afraid you'll grow apart from him or simply that he won't see you every day like he does now, and by making such an outrageous claim as to divorce you for enlisting is his way of keeping you near him.
At the same time, the current stigma people associate with enlisting is that you'll instantly become machine gun fodder in the middle east. There are TONS of possibilities for people in the military and its not necessarily a matter of joining because you agree with what the government stands for, or that you like violence, etc. I guess in the long run, you have to decide what you want. While marriage is about compromises and love and such, you still should do what your instinct is directing you to do. Your instincts are rarely wrong, if they ever are. It's when you overthink things that your thoughts can get muddled and you start to second-guess what you really want. He really needs to ask himself as well if a divorce is really worth it over this. If you REALLY want to join the military and you find it's the perfect fit for you, talk to some recruiters. Take your husband with you. It's your life. |
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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Originally posted by Rogue Exactly, joining a military force is the equivalent of finding the perfect car for you. |
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Belial Bazu Since: 01-29-05 From: New Zealand Since last post: 4364 days Last activity: 3978 days |
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| I really hope that he's threatening that because he's scared to lose me.... but somehow, I think that he might really mean it. =/
I also really believe that I would to amazing in the military. The reason why I just don't want to be in college to be a nurse is because I don't have the same self discipline that I used to, and that the military would help with that. Tremendously. The military would also be another experience to check off my list. I've thought about joining the navy on and off since I was in junior high school. I'll go talk to a recruiter.... my husband won't go. I already know his answer if I asked him to go: "Only if we're going to the courthouse afterward." And that just plain pisses me off. grr. He's also the only one who doesn't think it suits me... but that may just be because he doesn't want me to go. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| Well if that's what you believe is right for you, your husband should accept it or at least try to because he loves you.
Even though I wish the best for my boyfriend and I try not to be clingy, were he to get a job that would take him away from me at all hours of the day, I'd be really sad and a part of me would try to talk him out of it. As I'm sure you know, the military offers many opportunities for people out there and veterans with technical and specialized skills are often preferred by most work places. Enlisting can open many more doors for you, and they can put you through college at their cost. I had actually thought about enlisting in the Navy and going to school for marine biology which they have an area in (long story short, my mom said I'd be horribly disappointing her if I entertained the thought any longer and so I dropped it). Now, what might I ask is your husband so against when it comes to "what the military stands for"? As many recruiters that I spoke to in high school have told me (which was around the time the US had started its assault on Afghanistan and preparations for Iraq were in the works), enlistment doesn't necessarily mean deployment. True can correct me here since she's actually in the service, but from what I've gathered you can choose what you want to specialize in and all that. Nursing school seems to be fiercely competitive in the civilian world. It's weird. There's a shortage of nurses, and yet it's impossible to get into my old community college's nursing program. Why put yourself through that and wait years for a position when the military can get it to you faster, free, and give you a great resume to boot? Anyway, if the situation with your husband becomes so dire that he truly threatens divorce, which would you choose? I'm not trying to break up your marriage, but if you don't do what's right for you, you'll regret it. Granted if you decide to drop the idea of joining up and stay with your husband, you'll still be happy and lead a life worth being proud of, but there will be times when you'll always wonder. (Last edited by Rogue on 08-11-08 03:41 PM) |
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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Originally posted by Rogue It really depends on if you're going active duty or reservist.... I had a choice of what job I wanted... they go with your scores on your ASVAB as well... Beliail... if you're wanting a nursing degree, find a good college with an ROTC program, get the scholarship with them. The doctors in an army hospital are always ALWAYS officers. Plus nursing is not competed for in training. So keep that in mind. YOU HAVE MANY OPTIONS just don't go with just one. |
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Belial Bazu Since: 01-29-05 From: New Zealand Since last post: 4364 days Last activity: 3978 days |
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Originally posted by Rogue I don't know. I've tried asking him that. He doesn't explain that part. He said he's scared I won't ever come back, and that it would be easier to "get over" me if he wasn't attached with marriage. Talk about a coward. hmph. He also said he was already scared shitless of me -without- being trained in combat... He won't even give it a chance. He thinks I'm strong enough in every way to be in the military, except emotionally. Which I don't think he knows anything about himself. ugh. in other news- Some asshole now ex-friend of mine and my husband's... told us that our friend of 10+ years died in a car accident. My husband called him this morning while I was in tears to ask what happened... and apparently it was all some joke. haha. fucking dick. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| Honestly, I think True's idea about the ROTC program might be a better idea than joining the military. My nephew is in the Navy and I hear more about how he has to clean the ship than about his classes. Try looking that up, perhaps it would be a happy medium. | |||
avatar of law Beezo  Since: 12-29-04 From: paris, canada Since last post: 5767 days Last activity: 5767 days |
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| Maybe you should talk to him about the options you'll have without the military, then the benifits of joining the military.
I think most of it stems from being away from you and what not. The basic training alone is months and months and months. Active duty entails being away. I think he's more afraid of losing face if anything. Like if you were to be stationed somewhere, he'll have to ride your coattails or something and leave his life behind. All in all, the only REAL way to get the most out of the military is by joining the ROTC programs at the 4 year colleges. You automatically come out as an officer, and you get a college degree without being away from home, for free. WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN. what more can you ask? |
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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Originally posted by avatar of law  Shaddup you make me feel bad for going reserve before going to college lol. |
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Belial Bazu Since: 01-29-05 From: New Zealand Since last post: 4364 days Last activity: 3978 days |
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| Thanks for all your input, guys... I appreciate it. *feels sheepish*
I'm not joining the military. My husband is way too important to me to want to lose him. Unfortunately, there are no 4 year colleges near me... and I can't afford to move anywhere. I figured out why he didn't want me to join, though. He thinks I'm scary sometimes because I'm stronger than him... he doesn't want me to learn how to fight. =/ It's a whole 'nother issue. |
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