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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - In love? |
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Makura        Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5887 days Last activity: 5152 days |
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| I suppose this is directed toward the older members of the board. I may be young but I like to think that I have some life experience, enough to think tht I may be in love.
I have a couple questions. How do you know you're in love? Am I too young to fall in love? I'd really appreciate it if those who are more familiar with this subject would help me out. |
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Stitch Roy Koopa Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!  Since: 08-20-04 From: California Since last post: 934 days Last activity: 934 days |
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| From the moment you are conceived you begin to have life experience, the difference being that older humans have more life experience, but you can be wiser at a younger age. The fact that you are seeking advice from the older generation shows that you are indeed mature for your age. I applaud that in you.
One can never have too much life experience, and love is such a trivial and fleeting emotion that it's difficult to quantify into any one right answer. For each person, love means and is a different thing, a different concept. In my experience, I have yet to find true love...I merely find relationships to become semi-dependent on until I find the next one. I'm not a relationship dependent person. The one is out there, and I'm just not actively looking because I just don't care. I may not be the best for explaining the intricasies of love in its many facets, but I can provide sound advice and other things. I don't think you're too young to experience lust, or a hightened sense of lust and fondness that you may interpret as love, but if you do think you're "in love", don't run off and get married just to show it off to the world. If you truly love this person, you should be able to see yourself doing everything with them, sharing all your experiences (both bad and good) with them, and overall being able to stand them through their good and bad traits. It shouldn't all be about marriage and the material things. In the end, it's always best to trust your heart (even though it's really a chemical reaction in the brain linked to thoughts and memories) in these situations. |
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5091 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| hey sis. We've had slightly similar discussions before in the past I think but here's my two cents once again.
I don't think you're in any way too young to be in love. I know for a fact your a lot more mature and mentally a lot older than your physical age. You've got the mind to comprehend it so it is perfectly within the realm of possibiity. On the how do you know front. I don't think I can really be that much help. You know how I was acting when it hit me I was in love with the Pirate Girl. The only real thing I can think of is if the thought of that person not being in your life causes actual physical pain or illness. Thinking of never talking to her again literally had me sick to my stomach for over a month. I'm sure there are other methods people have or ideas to clue one into when they're honestly in love but really I think it comes down to do YOU think you're in love. when you are sure, and can say so to yourself and to that person then you're in love. At least that's how I see it. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| Trust me, you're not too young. Like Pockets said, you are more mature mentally than anyone I've ever met at that age... hell, I think you're more mature than I am (though at times that isn't saying much).
Hmn... how to know you are in love. That is honestly the toughest question to answer because "you just know" does not cut it at all. Like Pockets said, the thought of being without them is painful... love is a lot of pain really. But at the same time there is this feeling that you get when you talk to them, a tugging at your heart so to speak, and a general feeling of happiness at the thought of seeing them (granted that they return your feelings). I trust you to know your own feelings, since I know how you are and I am pretty sure that you can distinguish love from lust. I agree with Zabuza as well though, you don't have to prove it to anyone. Although I also notice that when you are in love you can actually picture marrying that person, like see the wedding and all that, yet when you aren't you can't really see it. |
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AngelBayB49 Shyguy  Since: 10-08-04 From: Lakewood, CA Since last post: 7084 days Last activity: 6840 days |
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| (Wow.... I love how I know everyone on this thread....)
Anyway, I want to use the cop-out "you just know". But like Elara said, that just doesn't cut it. There have been plenty of times when I truly thought I was in love. But I wasn't. There's a VERY fine line between love & infatuation. I agree with everyone when they say it causes you physical pain to not have the person in your life. But not only that, you could honestly say, without a single doubt, that you would do ANYTHING for that person. It's just that kind of emotion. It's overwhelming, & scary, & wonderful all at the same time. Completely not helpful, I know. But I tried. |
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Makura Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5887 days Last activity: 5152 days |
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| Thanks everyone. That makes me feel a bit better.
One of the problems I'm having is being afraid to commit. Since I know I'm really young and everything, I don't want to exactly commit right now. In addition, I'm very polyamorous. Can anyone relate to that at all? |
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Kaijin Surohm Living the dream  Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 1677 days Last activity: 864 days |
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| Lol. Don't worry about all of this, Makura. Chances are, you'll just stress yourself sick.
Well, my two cents on this subject... What attracted you to this person that you think your in love with? (I say think since even your not sure.) Its the types of attraction that matter. If your just attacted to this person's looks, and nothing else, then it's probably not love, but infatuation. But if this person's personality draws you in, then theres a good chance. Theres a number of diffrent types of love as well. You could be attacted to this person in a romantic way, or you just want to be near the person. Or it could be a busness type of love, where it only makes sense, where both of you have everything in common. (Since I'm not you, it's hard to say, since I don't know the situation) But a number of things could prove that you really are in love with someone. Thinking that you could marry this person could go both ways, but for now, chances are, if you could see the person married to you, then it's probably set. (Not just an imagination type thing, but something you could acctually want.) I'll shutup now. Hopfully my random babbling helped in some way. |
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Makura Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5887 days Last activity: 5152 days |
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| I seemed to have forgotten mentioning that this person also thinks that they are in love with me. I don't know how that tips the scales. | |||
Xeios You WANKER! Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 5074 days Last activity: 1384 days |
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| I think I am in love with my current girlfriend. But teenage feelings might be misleading me. I hope they are not... (Last edited by Xeios on 04-16-05 02:53 PM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| Hmn, well I have never really been considered polyamorous... fickle yes, but not polyamorous. Of course who says that you have to commit? If he is fine with it you can have an open relationship, there is nothing wrong with it. I myself am just one of those people that can't handle that (I'm a bit clingy, so sue me).
So he says he thinks he is in love with you too, huh? Interesting. Because I know your maturity level and taste in people I am trying to not let my negative bias towards teenage males take over too much, but then again at least he isn't professing love for you, he says he isn't sure... so in theory he seems honest. Does he know your feelings? Either way, it is best to talk to him, see how he feels about the commitment issue and decide if you want to try it, or just keep things how they are. |
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5091 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| Telling if someone else loves you is even more difficult than knowing if you love someone at times. Elara is right as well sis. There is nothing wrong with an open relationship if both parties are amiable to it.
Keep in mind sis, I am available as big brother to beat the snot out of said person be they male or female. |
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WhiteRose Warrior Sailor Delerium Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no ones ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream?...Green mouse ice cream was the worst.  Since: 08-17-04 From: The Dreaming Since last post: 4452 days Last activity: 5156 days |
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| I think everyone has pretty much covered all grounds that can be covered on this topic. Love can be a ver painful thing and one should be careful when throwing it around. Thought I haven't met you personally, Pockets and them have told me a lot about you and I et the feeling that they are right, you aren't too young.
It's best to just talk to this person and talk about the options. Just remember, you still have a lot of life to live, so don't be in a rush. As for the polyamorous thing, I can relate. I believe it is possible to love more than one person. I've never experianced myself, but I think it very possible. Nothing wrong with it, but it can make things a bit more complicated. That is something you might want to bring up with the person as well, something like that can make a differance. Hope this was of some help. (Last edited by WhiteRose on 04-16-05 01:52 AM) |
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Jin Posting Pig Not Dead  Since: 01-12-05 From: Nowhere Since last post: 2681 days Last activity: 2540 days |
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| I'm not sure if Makura wants everyone to know this or not, and if she doesn't.. I'm deeply sorry.
But I am the guy in question here, I avoided this thread because I didn't want to feel as if my opinion was biased one way or another. As many have said, You're of course old enough and certainly mature enough to know exactly how you feel. I'm never going to ask you to give me a yes or no answer to anything. Especially about comittment. As she's said. I certainly love her. There's no doubt in my mind about that, At all. |
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| You know... only you know when you're in love. To me the love I have to feel has to be different. For everyone I've dated, I've left a peice of me, and I can't get it back... but that's okay... I was greedy enough to take a peice of them. lol
ANYWAY, you know if you ever start getting that you're just "there" feeling, you're not feeling love... I should know. I gained that feeling a lot from some of the guys I've dated. *no names intended* but anyway. Things like this happens. Just to get too into it. No one is too young or old to be inlove. Why? Because there are two requirements you need before getting in a relationship. 1. You need the emotional capacity. What's a relationship without emotion? 2. You need the mental capacity of a relationship. First this is an easy one to go in a relationship with out. You have to be mature enough to put yourself in a relationship... and stuff... It's easy to have one or the other, but to have both is a challenge. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| You know, somehow I knew it was Jin, I just didn't want to say it.
Well, I still stand by what I said before, it's all up to what you two want, and if it makes you happy I say go for it. |
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Makura Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5887 days Last activity: 5152 days |
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| Thanks for the advice everyone.
Jin and I have discussed this and have come to the conclusion that I am afraid of commitment. I really can't help it though. I've been hurt before. Do I love him? Yes. I do but I question whether I have the mental capacity to make such a decision. I'm fourteen and have nothing but time, as much as I may hate it at times. |
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Jin Posting Pig Not Dead Since: 01-12-05 From: Nowhere Since last post: 2681 days Last activity: 2540 days |
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| Makura, You know I love you.
And you know the last thing I've ever wanted was to hurt you in any way. But you also know I've -NEVER- asked you to commit to me, yet you're acting as if I have due to your feelings for me and using it as a reason to back away from what could be a great thing between us. Nothing great in life can be had easily. |
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AngelBayB49 Shyguy Since: 10-08-04 From: Lakewood, CA Since last post: 7084 days Last activity: 6840 days |
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Well I just wanted to pop in & thank Makura for confiding in me on Sunday. I tried to give advice, I hope I gave at least decent advice. You know my situation too. And the advice you gave me, along w/ the listening ear, totally helped.  |
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Makura Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5887 days Last activity: 5152 days |
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| No need to thank me, Kasai.
Just as a closing to this thread, Jin and I have broken all ties related to romantice relationsips. For the sake of saying something I shouldn't I'm going to keep my feelings to myself. |
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Jin Posting Pig Not Dead Since: 01-12-05 From: Nowhere Since last post: 2681 days Last activity: 2540 days |
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| Makura, Please don't keep your feelings to yourself to spare some some sort of destress. |
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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - In love? |
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