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| Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Empty Shell |
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Stitch Roy Koopa Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!          Since: 08-20-04 From: California Since last post: 933 days Last activity: 933 days |
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| I have no soul.
I have no identity. Are these feelings even my own? Are these memories mine? I'm an empty shell waiting to be filled, waiting to be assigned, waiting to be "loved". Do I even understand what these feelings are? They are so alien to me, I don't think I can even begin to interpret them. Why am I so shattered? Where have I gone wrong? A world created in the void, set twenty-five years into the future, there sits the being that I want to become, sitting at a dining table across from his love. Their personal chef walks in and places a steaming dish of something in front of the other man, but the man slowly disappears as the plate is set down. The chef, slightly stunned, shrugs his shoulders, picks up the plate and returns to the kitchen. Somewhere across the city, my fifteen year old son stands in a park staring at his ID card. Slowly, both the memory of and the letters composing his hyphenated name start to dissolve. He is no longer the progeny of two, but now the progeny of me. He goes about his business, no longer having initials of SKAM, but initials of SKA. The house falls silent, and I sit, staring at the mound of food and at the empty chair across the table. The pictures around the house start morphing, slowly erasing any traces of him. He has ceased to exist as a possibility in that world, and everything referring to him is coming to a demise. I start to eat. Are these my hands? Is this really my house? My car? My job? My life? Or, has it all been fabricated in an immense laboratory somewhere for the amusement of some rich man? Is this karmic retribution for all those hacking things I did? The people that I was rude to? Anything against the norm that I have done? Am I destined not to be happy? Is that it? Is that the devine plan? IS IT!? The dark side is starting to look quite good now. Maybe I've been a gray too long. Maybe it's time to go back. Maybe... Ian declared that my pursuit of him is a waste of time. Being me is too much of a turn-off for him. My aunt passed away yesterday afternoon. Our rent has been raised. The family doesn't trust each other. Jack needs an oil change. I've not lost the will to live. No, they can never have that. I just feel that possibly becoming an emotionless being and never opening my heart up to anyone is the path to go. Now, excuse me while I cower beneath me desk and cry. |
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