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| Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Squawks |
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Truth/Serum Cheep-cheep Continued Harassment.         Since: 03-07-05 From: In pieces Since last post: 6416 days Last activity: 6387 days |
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| This is what airplane mechanics call the complaints from the pilots.
Anyhow, here's a list of some funny ones I found years ago. Squawks Problem - Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. Solution - Almost replaced left inside main tyre. Problem - No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. Solution - No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage. Problem - Something loose in cockpit. Solution - Something tightened in cockpit. Problem - Dead bugs on windshield. Solution - Live bugs on backorder. Problem - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. Solution - Cannot reproduce problem on ground. Problem - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. Solution - Evidence removed. Problem - DME volume unbelievably loud. Solution - Volume set to more believable level. Problem - Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. Solution - That's what they are there for! Problem - IFF inoperative. Solution - IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. Problem - Suspected crack in windscreen. Solution - Suspect you're right. Problem - Number 3 engine missing. Solution - Engine found on right wing after brief search. Problem - Aircraft handles funny. Solution - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious." Problem - Target radar hums. Solution - Reprogrammed target radar with words. Problem - Mouse in cockpit. Solution - Cat installed. Defect: The autopilot doesn't. Action: IT DOES NOW. Defect: Whining sound heard on engine shutdown. Action: Pilot removed from aircraft. Defect: Pilot's clock inoperative. Action: Wound clock. Defect: #2 ADF needle runs wild. Action: Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle. Defect: Unfamiliar noise coming from #2 engine. Action: Engine run for four hours. Noise now familiar. Defect: Noise coming from #2 engine. Sounds like man with little hammer. Action: Took little hammer away from man in #2 engine. Defect: Whining noise coming from #2 engine compartment. Action: Returned little hammer to man in #2 engine. Defect: 3 roaches in cabin. Action: 1 roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away. Defect: Weather radar went ape! Action: Opened radar, let out ape, cleaned up mess! Humorously submitted, Ryan Cunningham |
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