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| Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Rogue |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance         Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days |
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| I just got this in an e-mail. I've heard several variations, but this is probably one of the better versions.
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet." Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. "Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it." |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days |
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| Hurt Xeios.
Hurt Xeios. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days |
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| I'm sitting in the college's computer lab and the girls who get paid to work in here are having a loud discussion of the hottest men in Hollywood. It's really getting obscene and sexist-sounding at the same time.
It's quite funny being on the other end of this. Were these all men talking about women, they'd all be slapped by every passing female who happened to overhear even a sheer moment of this conversation. Heh. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days |
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| Heard it before, but it's one that is always amusing. Sounds vaguely Scottish.
Speaking of which, here's an old one that everyone knows: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? 'Cause sheep can hear a zipper a mile away. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days |
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| Right now I'm reading The Road to Wellville. It's a satire on all of those machines, medicines, tonics, diets, health programs, and such that people used to buy into in the early 1900s that were really just shams to get people's money.
Example: one of the characters, Will Lightbody, is married to a health nut who goes off to sanitariums all the time and follows strict eating regimes. While she's gone for a while, Will in his loneliness picks up drinking and soon becomes a complete alcoholic. His wife, on returning, buys this "miracle cure" that's supposed to cease Will's alcohol abuse. Eventually he picks up on his wife drugging him after he has a bout of sleeping sickness, he finds the bottles of the cure she had hidden and discovers that it's nothing but opium. Now addicted to opium, he becomes sick with withdrawls and soon he finds another bottle of miracle cure. However, this cure is for drug addiction. He has it analyzed and as it turns out, it's alcohol just slightly weaker than the stuff he was already drinking. His wife was spending hundreds of dollars on these tiny bottles of miracle cure and he could easily have spent a quarter of that just on his full-sized bottles alcohol. Anyway, the book has occasional photos of people going through ridiculous treatments, one of a woman hooked up to a machine, breathing in radium. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days |
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Photos from last weekend for anyone interested. 
Sand Mandala ceremony:      
The Pow Wow:               |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days |
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| And now today is the Ides of March--Assassination Day to some.
This doesn't include a lot of the Internet holidays, but it does show many of the newly celebrated ones (It does have Pi Day and Talk Like a Pirate Day): http://www.earthcalendar.net/index.php |
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(restricted)| (restricted) | (restricted) |
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days
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When he started, I swore that was my friend Levi, who's in the band with Zoso. At shows he shouts the, "Yeaaaaah! Yeaaaaahhh!" with the lead singer, Becky, and some of the other bands that they perform with.
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Though he has relatively long hair now, he did have short hair for a long time a couple years ago.
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days
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Green's my favorite color and I tend to wear a lot of it regularly (and black, of course).
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It's funny. Every St Paddy's Day since I've become legally able to drink, I've been doing something else and not able to go on the 24-hour pub crawl with a few of my 30-something-year-old friends. This year I'm off with Zoso, Elara, Venomouslobster and a few others to see the Poxy Boggards, just like last year. The year before that were the back to back Flogging Molly/Fenians/Poxy Boggards concerts (wasn't legal that year, but meh, still had Guinness ).
Ironically enough, I've never gotten sloshed for St. Paddy's. (restricted) |
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days
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Hurt Xeios.
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Hurt Xeios.
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days
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Originally posted by White Right! It's about chasing Pagans out of Ireland. And teaching kids through symbolism they were snakes. Despite there already not being snakes in Ireland in Patrick's time. 
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days
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This last weekend was insanely busy and exhausting for me.
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It was Wizard World L.A. and although it wasn't the greatest con, it was fun and eventful. Met several comic idols, went to a few panels like the exclusive Heroes Q&A with the writers and Tim Kring, Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale and the world premiere of the Witchblade anime and manga. I might appear during a commercial break in the new Heroes episodes. At the panel, they recorded several people stating their theories about the show and upcoming episodes, so if you see a fat chick talking about "Uluru" being a character, that's me.
Pretty much the break down of the weekend: Thursday: Smithsonian Week storytelling. Friday: Wizard World L.A., then a poetry slam at the Found Theater. Guh. It was a part of the previously mentioned Smithsonian Week. Saturday: Wizard World L.A., Poxy Boggards and Merry Wives concert with Zoso, Elara, Venomous and several others. Sunday: Wizard World L.A., hung out at Zoso's band's practice. (Last edited by Rogue on 03-20-07 02:09 PM)
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days
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Hurt Clockworkz.
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Hurt Clockworkz.
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days
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Originally posted by Elara Which is funny when you have the over-hyped venue like the House of Blues charging $5 per can on St. Paddy's Day. But then they also have extra vendors in the hallways and around the pit selling Guinness and Harp. That was a really fun concert and it was great getting to be around people I don't see very often any more. But I must agree. $15 for a mixed drink?! Really, what got me about the concert were all the pushy pseudo-fans in the pit who were trying everything to get Zoso and me to move so they could take up more of the area against the stage. You know the type--they only know the chorus to "Good Ship Venus" and then shout at Captain Black and Lurch to move so they can stare longingly at Tappy claiming his name is "Tabby" or "Taddy" (seriously).
But that's common with every concert.
Anyway, heeeeeere's Tappy! 
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days
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Well, that was funny.
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I wouldn't get too cocky about getting the media pass to fly under the press' radar. I've done that sooooo many times. Although his description of sports journalists is hysterically accurate. Went on E-Bay to see what these things were going for. Haven't found any yet. I think people were paying more attention to that "scandal" of Prince's silhouette with his guitar, though. (Last edited by Rogue on 03-21-07 03:56 PM)
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 686 days Last activity: 495 days
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Heh. That goes along with the "Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?" joke.
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In case you hadn't heard: 'Cause it was dead. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Rogue |
