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| Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Rogue |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance         Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days |
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| This month -- alone -- I've had to deal with six deaths within my social circle.
Brandon's uncle, Jerry, had the plug pulled earlier this month. My mom's cousin's husband had COVID and passed, and then this same cousin lost her mother too (not sure if the mother's passing was COVID-related.) Then this past Sunday a friend from Disney, who had been in the ICU for most of the last month, suddenly died. He had COVID, but seemed to be improving with every update we were getting from his family. It was a shocking update to hear he'd suddenly passed. And then yesterday. I'm in the middle of making breakfast and start getting texts from a friend who works at the center. One of our co-workers died and the mother of a very dear friend also just suddenly died in her sleep. The co-worker had COVID a couple months back, caused her to have a stroke, and then was debilitated in the hospital up until this week. I know there was debate over whether or not to remove her feeding tube. No clue what happened with Pedro's mom. 
... I -- no lie -- went outside and stood in the rain. I looked up at the sky and felt the drops hit my face and Brandon and I ended up slow dancing in it. ... All this news, on top of getting hit up by several friends for GoFundMes. Funeral and hospital expenses, mostly. Then someone not able to pay their bills and keep their house because they've suddenly become disabled from a heart attack. I have friends pleading for financial help in one form or another online. My Paypal is just a series of random e-mails I've been wiring money to. One friend, Paypal accidentally sent her the money twice and she didn't even ask if it was a mistake. She just suddenly sent me pictures of her cat then sort of make me feel guilty for even attempting to ask for the second payment back. This friend had a TERRIBLE year, and is still panhandling online. 
Fuck that times have been tough for so many. Fuck that there are people delusional enough to think the country is somehow better than it was under Obama. Fuck that one of my best friends just texted 30 minutes ago, I only saw it now, and now I'm half-expecting god-awful news the moment she finally texts back. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days |
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Originally posted by Rogue Well shit, that was quick. Right after posting this, one of my best friends called to tell me about the passing of another friend. Seven deaths for me, just in January. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days |
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| "Not Much To Report" is pretty much the rule of the day.
I'm still housebound, but terminated from therapy (because they do not feel I need it any more, so "terminated" is a good thing in this context.) Self-imposing exposure therapy has been OK, but I hit a snag here and there sometimes. Going outside felt like I was re-teaching myself how to walk and talk. These days it's just streaming things, sending cards in the mail, cooking, and ... waiting. |
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(restricted)| (restricted) |
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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Originally posted by The Accidental Protege I would LOVE some actual fucking cold here. Jesus, is it even winter? It's been HOT. We ran the A/C and half the house was complaining it was freezing. Seriously, people in Southern California lose their shit over temperatures below 70. My co-workers would literally say it was FREEZING in 68 degrees. (restricted) |
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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Thank you, everyone who sent holiday greetings. Getting mail these days is one of the few joys in life.
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Thank you, ex-co-worker, Cindy, for sending me Ursula postcards all the time now. It's so nice to be thought of. 
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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I'm most of the way through a really long list of movies for Black History Month. There's A LOT of emotional weight here, so I've been dropping in comedies here and there.
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As it is currently: ___ 13th ✔️ The 24th ✔ 42 ✔ All In: The Fight for Democracy ✔️ Amazing Grace (2018) ✔️ Amistad ✔ Antebellum ✔️ Bamboozled ✔ Barry ✔️ Becoming ___ Belle ✔️ Bessie ___ The Birth of a Nation (2016) ✔️ Black Box ✔ Black Dynamite ✔️ Black Panther ✔️ BlacKkKlansman ✔ Blazing Saddles ✔️ The Blood Is at the Doorstep ✔ Boyz n the Hood ✔ The Butler ✔️ Candyman ___ The Central Park Five ✔️ Chi-Raq ___ Claudine ✔️ The Color Purple ✔️ Coming to America ✔️ Cool Runnings ✔️ Da 5 Bloods ___ Dear White People ✔️ Django Unchained ✔ Do The Right Thing ✔️ Dolemite Is My Name ___ Emperor ___ Fences ✔️ Freedom Riders ✔ Fruitvale Station ___ Get On Up ✔️ Get Out ✔️ Glory ✔️ The Great Debaters ✔ Harlem Nights ✔️ Harriet ___ The Hate U Give ✔️ The Help ✔️ Hidden Figures ✔️ High Flying Bird ___ Hoop Dreams ✔️ Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror ✔️ I Am Not Your Negro ✔ If Beale Street Could Talk ___ Jimi Hendrix: Voodoo Child ✔️ Judas and the Black Messiah ✔ Juice ___ Just Mercy ✔️ LA 92 ___ The Last Black Man in San Francisco ___ Lionheart ✔️ Love & Basketball ✔️ The Loving Story ✔️ Ma Rainey's Black Bottom ✔️ Malcolm & Marie ✔️ Malcolm X ___ Maya Angelou and Still I Rise ✔ Menace II Society ✔ Miles Davis: Birth of the Cool ✔️ Miss Juneteenth ✔️ Moonlight ___ Mr. Soul ✔️ Night of the Living Dead ✔️ One Night in Miami ✔️ Poetic Justice ✔️ The Princess and the Frog ✔️ Queen & Slim ✔ A Raisin in the Sun ✔️ The Rape of Recy Taylor ✔️ Ray ✔ Red Tails ✔️ Remember the Titans ___ Rosewood ✔ Scott Joplin ✔ Scottsboro: An American Tragedy ___ Selma ✔ Set It Off ✔ She's Gotta Have It ✔️ Sorry To Bother You ✔ Southside With You ✔️ Stormy Weather ✔️ Straight Outta Compton ✔ Sylvie's Love ✔️ Tangerine ✔️ Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am ✔ The Tuskegee Airmen ___ The United States vs Billie Holiday ✔️ Us ✔ What Happened, Miss Simone? ✔ What Men Want ✔ What's Love Got To Do With It? ✔ Whoopi Goldberg Presents Moms Mabley ___ Within Our Gates
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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Since it's Black History Month, I've been reading more things like the progressive writings of Ida B. Wells and Angela Davis and Langston Hughes poetry.
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My To-Read pile is lining an entire wall of my closet right now.
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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I don't even know if I HAVE a favorite band any more? It's like I listed mostly friends' bands the last time, which was *Jumps back a sex four years ago. |
Namely (friends' bands): The Dread Crew of Oddwood (they played my wedding) Poxy Boggards Kirby's Dream Band Old Man Wizard Vic Viper Bonehenge I still listen to them, but they haven't really put out anything new in a while. Favorites that are endured that I'm not personally friends with: Metallica Flogging Molly Dropkick Murpheys The Dreadnoughts The Fratellis Gogol Bordello Dusty Rhodes and the River Band Rumjacks I've been listening to so many different things right now, just to broaden my tastes a bit. Right now it's a lot of: Tom Waits Nick Cave Matt Berry Howlin' Wolf Flat Duo Jets Squirrel Nut Zippers Billie Holiday Nina Simone Son House Blind Willie Johnson Bessie Smith Memphis Minnie Ma Rainey Scott Joplin A lot of jazz, blues, ragtime, southern gothic, rockabilly, psychobilly, big band.
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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I got my second vaccine shot a few weeks ago, so hopefully it's fully effective now, and Brandon's heading back to work either this week or next. |
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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I wrote to my boss at the center to let him know I think I'll be ready to return to work next month after my dad and Brandon's vaccines would be in effect. He's desperate for help, I guess, since some people have left and that one co-worker passed away. |
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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Have had moderate to severe wrist pain for a month and a half. I'm pretty sure it's tendonitis. Write to my doctor and end up getting an appointment with some of doctor who starts the video chat almost an hour late and only talks to me for two minutes. The notes I got show her diagnosis as prediabetes. . . . I mean, I know I need to watch it and exercise more and eat right, but what?
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I asked her to prescribe me some stretches, and she says not until after I've had bloodwork done.
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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Christ this has been a tough year. I've had 12 deaths in my life just in 2021. One that stings pretty bad was one of my clients. He even wrote me a letter hoping to see me again before he passed unexpectedly.
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Fuck people's hesitancy to get vaccinated. I dropped by my center on Monday and my boss mentioned that only one-quarter of the staff have gotten the vaccine. There's at least 20 people working, so FIVE fucking people got their shots?! Our company is apparently offering cash prizes in a lottery where you enter with your vaccine card, and I guess that got ONE person at the center interested in actually getting it. LORD.
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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Just finished "Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga" by Hunter S. Thompson. And before that I tried reading fiction again, and got through "The Cruel Prince" by Holly Black.
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I also finished: - "Night" by Elie Wiesel (memoir about a kid's experiences at Auschwitz) - "Quackery: A Brief History of the Worst Ways to Cure Everything" - "The Butchering Art: Joseph Lister's Quest to Transform the Grisly World of Victorian Medicine" - "The Wanderer's Havamal" (supposedly advice doled out by Odin) - Angela Y. Davis' "Women, Race & Class" - "A Whore's Manifesto: An Anthology of Writing and Artwork by Sex Workers" - "Death in Salem: The Private Lives behind the 1692 Witch Hunt" - A graphic novel of Octavia Butler's "Kindred" Right now my bathroom book is "Nomadland" and I'm almost done with "The Last Duel," about the trial by combat fought between a knight and a squire in the late 1300s.
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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I did my first week back at the center. I did all right, but yeah, most of everyone doesn't wear their masks at all, even though they're supposed to. |
I'm about to be pretty busy again with no weekends. *Sweat drop akward smile emoji* ;P
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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Originally posted by Xeoman Jesus, is that even legal?! Holy shit! Originally posted by Xeoman Yeah, FUCK. I don't blame you. 
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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Originally posted by Elara Yeah, I haven't been back either. My boss at the center was telling me that they separate you by two seats on either side of you, so he'll buy four tickets so he and his wife will have a row to themselves. *Shrug* Watched the newest "The Conjouring" movie yesterday since it dropped on HBO Max then. It really plays up the fairy tale bullshit that is the Warrens.
For some reason, the staff at my center are REALLY into watching those movies at the end of the workday since we don't have clients coming in and there's not much to do at the moment. So yeah, "The Conjouring" on Wednesday, "The Conjouring 2" on Thursday and then "The Conjouring: The Devil Made Me Do It" on Friday. 
Rogue |
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 668 days Last activity: 477 days
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My neighbor, three doors down, has doubled down and is now flying a picture of Trump from his flagpole to go along with his Trump 2020 banner he's got hanging over his garage. |
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| Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Rogue |
