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| Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - COMPETITION ENTRY: Bloom |
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Makura        Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5889 days Last activity: 5154 days |
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| EDIT: Story Deleted (Last edited by Makura on 07-12-08 11:49 PM) |
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FX Zombie Marco Since: 03-24-06 Since last post: 3832 days Last activity: 3728 days |
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| Creativity: 9/10
Spelling:10/10 Grammar:10/10 Character:9/10 Plot:9/10 Overall: 47/50 Everything was well developed, as usual. It holds your attention throughout, and leaves you stunned at the end, which is really something every author aspires to do. Even better than your entry last year. Keep up the good work. (Last edited by FX on 05-02-08 02:34 PM) |
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Cairoi This isn't about you and your loud mouth, This is about me and my fucking beard. Since: 08-29-04 From: PA Since last post: 4851 days Last activity: 4474 days |
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| Creativity: 9/10
The repetition and synchronization of feeling, the way you wrote was very creative and fresh. It was very poetic. Spelling and Grammar:18/20 Noticed a few errors here and there (example:the boy could here his father). Some sentences felt weird going down. Character:9/10 Very good, fleshed out characters. A bit too typical, but still real. Plot:8/10 It was very new for you to implement historical fiction, but in the case of the time period, you used the two most publicized events, and almost stereotypically. Overall: 44/50 You're an amazing writer, Makura.  |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 102 days Last activity: 102 days |
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| Honestly, I found it interesting but at the same time as soon as I read the first part I already had Eli Wiesel's Night in mind. I guess I feel that you could have been a bit more creative there, the Evan character was more original. The descriptions were good, as they usually are with your writing, and I noticed the same little typos but nothing major. To tell the truth, I think your entry last time was better over all, though I really like the concept of this one with the comparison of D-Day and a Concentration Camp. A great job!
Creativity: 8/10 Spelling: 9/10 Grammar: 9/10 Character: 8/10 Plot: 9/10 (I feel the use of these events is timely given the anniversary of Israel's founding) Total: 43/50 |
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