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11-21-24 10:36 PM
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Belial

Bazu








Since: 01-29-05
From: New Zealand

Since last post: 4364 days
Last activity: 3979 days
Posted on 10-22-08 02:26 AM Link | Quote
If your boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other, etc, gets mad at you, pushes you.... then you defend yourself by hitting them with your purse/bag.... then he kicks you in the hip (bruising), makes a swing at you... but a friend intervenes and he/she stops.... is that cause for legal action? (sorry, this happened and I took several swigs of vodka, so I don't know if it makes sense...)
天国JOE

���A�ǂ��ɂȂ�̂���낤�H








Since: 09-02-04
From: Destroy Tower

Since last post: 4025 days
Last activity: 3390 days
Posted on 10-22-08 03:13 AM Link | Quote
Yes. Contact was made, and the intention for more was evident. I'd say that's easily enough.
Belial

Bazu








Since: 01-29-05
From: New Zealand

Since last post: 4364 days
Last activity: 3979 days
Posted on 10-22-08 10:08 AM Link | Quote
What if he/she promises to go to an anger management counselor?
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 634 days
Last activity: 442 days
Posted on 10-22-08 11:41 AM Link | Quote
Promises don't mean they'll do it, especially if they aren't legally-held to it.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 94 days
Last activity: 94 days
Posted on 10-22-08 02:01 PM Link | Quote
accompany them to their meetings, just to make sure.

Otherwise, it really depends. Is it worth ruining your relationship for this? Do you see it happening again? Are you in danger?

If the answer is yes to any of those, then do it. Otherwise, leave it.

But that's really sounding intense, how'd it happen?
Belial

Bazu








Since: 01-29-05
From: New Zealand

Since last post: 4364 days
Last activity: 3979 days
Posted on 10-23-08 01:21 PM Link | Quote
Well, he's my husband. I can't just get up and leave. It's a process. He honestly.... isn't a violent person. We have a friend whose dad is a psychologist. My husband trusts this guy (which is weird in itself) and he's reccomending an anger management counselor. I'm going to go with him to make sure he goes to these meetings.

He got mad because I had to back up his huge dually truck in a little tiny crowded parking lot at night.. and I brushed another car. But from the angle he saw it happen, he thought that I really backed into the other car hard. There wasn't any damage or anything. He kinda got scared because my name isn't on his insurance... so that fed his anger.

The other part I told didn't happen until we were home... and he doesn't even remember pushing me out of his way to unlock the front door... but he did. I was seeing red from him talking to me badly so I hit him in the back with my (little tiny) purse... and he thought I was going to swing at him with my fist. He thought he was using self defense when he kicked at me and tried to hit me when our friend stepped between us and put him in a choke hold against the wall (our friend used to be in the Marines).

He supposedly wasn't taught not to hit a girl, self defense or not. so.... that's wrong, and it -will- change. We both want this to work. He's even the one who suggested he see a counselor. He doesn't even remember half of what happened.
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 634 days
Last activity: 442 days
Posted on 10-25-08 12:36 PM Link | Quote
Well, counseling is for the best.

I mean, it's like pit bulls. Most people keep them because they're so kind and sweet and often they're remarked as being like pussycats. Then one day they snap and bite someone or attack something or a person, often a child. Then the "pussycat" needs to be put to sleep.

Your husband might have just had something in him that snapped that he didn't realize he had a predisposition for. Genetics are strange like that. Not to say your husband is strange or anything, it just might have been there in his programming and it had never come out before.

And like you, maybe he just felt he was defending himself and it was an instinctual thing.

All the same, I wish you guys the best, and I hope you're okay.


(Last edited by Rogue on 10-25-08 12:37 PM)
Belial

Bazu








Since: 01-29-05
From: New Zealand

Since last post: 4364 days
Last activity: 3979 days
Posted on 10-25-08 01:28 PM Link | Quote
Thank you, Rogue, for that point of view.
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