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Phoenixocracy The one true Xeodent          Since: 01-08-10 From: Xeomerica Since last post: 1702 days Last activity: 1701 days |
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| I dont even know where to start. I kind of just need to rant. At this point, I dont even care if anyone responds.
I hate myself. Why? Mainly because of my heart. I have a serious genetic heart condition that could result in my passing. Of course, ive always had it, I just didnt find out until about two years ago, which totally screwed my life up. I had it all going for me. I was a football player for seven years, going on eight, and I considered myself quite good. I started every year, offense and defense, but I loved defense. Something about tackling the shit out of someone made me feel pretty good. But I had to take a year off because I got really sick. I had these horrible pains in my side and all up my back to the point that I would just fall to the ground whenever they presented themselves. The verdict? The doctors didnt know. They thought I had cancer. Luckily, if you could call it that, I only had a heart problem. And then the seizures started. To skip ahead, the doctors said I was getting too bad. Even with my medication, they werent sure if I was going to be okay. So, last year, July 27th, 2009, I had a defibrillator implanted in my chest. If I thought I had restrictions before, I was nuts. I cant do anything anymore. I was an avid gym-goer, even with my heart problem. I picked up raquetball and was getting pretty good until I had to stop after the surgery. Now I lost most of my strength and put on some weight (not much, luckily). Well, there was going to be alot more about other things, but I'd rather not have an essay written on how much I hate my life and what about it. I kind of just needed to talk about it, because no one else will listen. Thanks. I dont really care of you reply, I just needed to get it out. (Last edited by DrowningPhoenix on 05-30-10 01:27 PM) |
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cityondown012510 Red Cheep-cheep  Since: 05-30-10 From: Bensalem Since last post: 4797 days Last activity: 4809 days |
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| Oh god, I knew something was up with that, I've heard rumors and stuff, but I had no idea. I'm so sorry, man. If you ever need anyone to talk to, you know how to reach me. I'm always here. I love you, dude <3 *makes mental note to give you a hug on Tuesday* | |||
Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 105 days Last activity: 105 days |
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| Wow DP, that blows. But on the other hand you are still alive, and that has to count for something. Isn't there any kind of activity that you can do that isn't too taxing? Walking perhaps? Not hiking, mind you, but just a very mild cardio that helps to strengthen heart muscles? | |||
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Phoenixocracy The one true Xeodent Since: 01-08-10 From: Xeomerica Since last post: 1702 days Last activity: 1701 days |
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| Thanks, City. (I'd call you cod, but I hate that game.)
And yeah, I can. I would hike if I could, I just need to get back in shape again. Ive been getting out and jogging recently. Unfortunately I can only jog quarter of a mile without taking a break, but I can do it in a reasonable time. I just need to get a regiment and take it easy until im back in shape. Granted, the doctors dont want me doing all this, but I feel like I need to. Im trying not to let it change my life more than it absolutely needs to. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 105 days Last activity: 105 days |
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| If your doctors don't want you doing it, have them give you something you can do. I may not be an expert on this, but I don't think they want you to veg out on the couch after that. You need to make your heart stronger again. Just make sure to pace yourself, maybe consult a personal trainer to see if they have some suggestions for things you can do that are not too taxing. | |||
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Phoenixocracy The one true Xeodent Since: 01-08-10 From: Xeomerica Since last post: 1702 days Last activity: 1701 days |
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I know. I'm not going crazy with stuff, nor do I plan on it. I was planning on pacing myself and getting back into the groove of things. I will have to ask them, though, the next time I go. They cleared me for raquetball already, and ive played a few times since the surgery, but nothing serious. I should ask a trainer to see what I can do without going nuts, though. Thanks  |
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Katana Dark Wizard \"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\"  Since: 08-15-04 From: Philadelphia, P.A. Since last post: 1560 days Last activity: 1378 days |
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| I hate to be the bitch to talk to you like this, but if you don't listen to your doctors, you're a heart attack waiting to happen.
I don't know what it is exactly you have, but you have a difibulator, and I know that isn't good. I have VERY mild heart problems, and heart disease runs in my family, so I know what a difibulator is, and they're scary. My heart broke (no pun intended) the moment I read that you had one put in. You're so young! And doctors thought it hit my family young...the ones in my family who actually are unfortunate enough to get heart disease, we're usually in our late 20's to early 40's when we're diagnosed...(Although it's mostly women who get heart disease, AND diabetes in my family, and something called PCOS is coming to light as something running in my family, and PCOS eventually causes heart disease and diabetes, so I'm on my own personal crusade to figure this one out.) But still, you're just a teenager!! If you ever want someone to talk to, you and I are from the same area. Considering there's several places locally that are world renowned for their specialization in cardiology, you and I have more than likely crossed paths with the same doctors and institutions. I won't hesitate to have a good sit down with you and maybe help recommend some things, or simply just listen to you if need be.  |
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Phoenixocracy The one true Xeodent Since: 01-08-10 From: Xeomerica Since last post: 1702 days Last activity: 1701 days |
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| Hahaha. Thanks, Kat. People tell me that all the time, so you dont sound bitchy. I know people are just concerned. But from my perspective, I really dont want this to hold me back. Like you said, im kind of young, and I want to have a life. So much has been taken away from me, and I really dont want to lose anymore.
I mean, there are good thing, of course. Well, maybe only one. But because of my heart problem and defibrillator, I started writing more. I always read, but never really challenged myself to write a novel. After my heart problem, I had less time to do other things, so I started writing, and I love it. It made me want to be an author, and thats something I'm very set on. At the same time, its just a drag to see so much going on around me and not be able to do any of it. I cant even go outside and play football in the neighborhood (well, not mine, but yeah) because of the device. Its just really dumb. I hate it. EDIT: Oh, and my cardiologist is at CHOP. Im a frequent visitor. And I hope your heart is okay (Last edited by DrowningPhoenix on 06-13-10 12:50 PM) |
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