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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Dear Sister: Please grow up |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt          Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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| So, a lot has happened in the past two weeks: I'll first give a short and simple list so maybe you will step into my shoes
- Someone I cared for passed away. Someone whom I used to love dear was raped, beaten, and later put into a mental institution. A month later she took her own life. - Sister and her two twins move into Grandmother's house. Which is basically my house. She has no job, no motive, but a car and plenty of cigarettes to puff away with while she begs me for money. - CDL School has me sort of stressed out. The only part I am weak in is manual shifting. Nothing major. Just normal schooling. But I want to make Truck driving a career before I start using my brains - Full time Job. Olive garden, gave me the raised I wanted. However the responsibilities it carries has me working harder for a ton more stress. Basically "Family" issues. Certain people I work with a pieces of shit and one Co-manager I manage with is a lazy bitch whom I can't stand. But let's focus on one issue. My sister. Now, keep in mind I love her to death. And even though she is my sister I however have to give her brotherly love. Before I continue, I am the rock of this household. I pay 80% of the bills in this house and even pay for food for not only myself, but for my grandmother, Aunt, and my father as well. Why don't I move out? because they helped me when I was on my own, and I am only going to move out when I graduate College and when I find someone to settle with. Well, now in lies the problem with my sister: You see, she was seeing someone who which had her children with. Two awesome kids whom I love to play with. They love watching me play SC2 and I would not give them up for the world. However, they have to go. Not the kids mind you. But my sister. You see, she WAS in jail for domestic voilence. Now I don't know the full story behind that. But 9 / 10 times usually when voilence between partners happens the mother walks away. But she went to Jail and spent the night there. So I am going to let that fall behind me. She had to go somewhere. Mother would not let her come back to that house because she went back to the same guy she got in a fight with (Obviously it should seem that they have gotten into this before). So that was out of the question. Not my aunt's house because of the same reason. Who does she call? My dad, who is also the 2nd foundation of this house. So, she moves in. However, she already knows the ground rules. - Over anyone. My grandmother has the say so in anything she says. Meaning this: If she wants her gone. it better happen that day. If she wants me gone. It will be done that second. - I am the leader of the pack. Whatever I say. GOES. PERIOD. I can have friends come over late in the night and I have a lot of privileges that not even my aunt and Dad have. I have proved time and time again that I am reliable and even though I was told to pay this amount on the bills or whatever. I pay twice as much with no question. I am not staying here due to this. It's because of the respect I give my Grandmother. - Sister is not staying here. Meaning she better not feel too comfortable. She made here bed here and she better lay in it. So let's focus a little more on that last tab there. She made her bed. What does this mean? Meaning she went back to that piece of shit guy she was dating and she put herself in this situation. So what does she do? She, first of all, ties up the phone lines. Which tomorrow I am going to have a talk with her about. Even know she is talking with some guy about her fucking tattoos. But for now I am gonna let her have her fun. She can talk all she fucking wants to. Tomorrow morning. I am cutting that shit off. No phones unless she is talking with someone about a FUCKING JOB. Second, she does not clean up after her kids. When I wake up for work. I keep my upstairs clean. Unlike my room, but that is besides the point. I keep a clean walkway from my room to the bathroom at all times. The hallway? Trashed with Scrabble board game pieces, diapers, nude kids running all around the fucking hallway, and she is talking on that phone. Third, her cigarettes and her asking for money. Future parents. If you smoke. IF YOU FUCKING SMOKE, do NOT ask for money. If you have the time and pleasure in wasting your damn money in puffing on those cigarettes. Then you have the time and money in using it on your kids as well. Oh boo hoo Nicotine fits. Grow the hell up. She has asked me TWICE for money now and I said the first two times that "I just don't have the money". Third time will be strike out. Finally, the facebook statuses. I am not a moron. I know she, after all of this, wants to go back to the same guy. Even drawing attention from it. Please excuse the poor MSpaint cropping here. Still learning that on Win7 That floored me. Still friend with him on facebook. Still arguing with him as usual. And by God, still dealing with him. See, dad and I already talked about this. And the news is gonna hit her hard, and I mean haaarrrrdddddd tomorrow. I know she has babies, I know she is having a hard time, and I know she is strapped for cash. But she has to do something soon. And this house is not going to deal with it. I mean it may sound harsh, but she had her chance when she was living with my mother. She left because she thought my mom was beating those kids. Which she wasn't, thats OUR mom. She at least raised me right. Wished she could have "beaten" her a little more with the sense she has. But starting tomorrow she will have no more phone privileges. And that computer that she is using from my dad? Gone. Tomorrow. Them babies can cry until the cows come home while I am asleep. That does not bother me at all. But her crying is going to fuel the fire. I mean I know it sounds harsh but it's decided that she made this choice and she is gonna have to fucking deal with it. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| Honestly, I am 100% with you on this. She needs some kind of tough love as a wake-up call.
Now, I admit that I have maintained a friendship with an ex that baffled all of my friends, but while what he did was beyond horrible he was sorry and trying to make up for it. Years later, we are fine, though my friends still want to kill him. But a guy like that? No. Especially if I had kids, I would want him no where around. Neither should she. I say toss her cigarettes in the toilet and hand her the want ads section of the paper. |
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Cteno Super Shotgun Moderator Since: 01-11-05 Since last post: 91 days Last activity: 89 days |
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| Also agreed 100%. Parenting is a 24/7 job and it's very simple yet so many people slack off and do it wrong.
If I were in her shoes, the very last things I would be doing would be associating with that chucklefuck and I would get my happy ass a job. If you can't afford your own damn cigarettes, you need to quit smoking. I'm fairly sure that the rest of the household wouldn't mind helping with the kids if she gets off of her butt and puts forth some damned effort, so the old excuse of "I have no time to work, I have kids" is right out the window! |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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| So last night she was up until about 3:15 this morning and the wrong person caught her on the phone at that time.
Yep! Grandmother! Got a call from the downstairs button that lights up if something happens and if she needs something (I live on the third floor of my house) and as soon as I walked downstairs, she was up asking what my sister was doing on the phone and that she needed to use it. First, I cut the phones off. Then I walked up there and cussed her out. Told her to fucking go to bed and be up by 8AM looking for a fucking job. Then before I left for work. Dad heard about what happened and had a talk with her. She is going to have to owe rent tonight when she comes home from work. Failure to do so and she is gonna have to go. Period. So she has until tonight to give grandmother money. With the way things are I highly doubt she will come up with the money. |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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| Update: We had a family meeting (Yeah we have those in this house) and I had the floor.
Basically, she was on time with her rent but I had to break the news to her that she was indeed welcome in this house and all; she can't stay for too long. I made a note that she does not bother me one bit if her kids are crying and them stomping around my floor in the mornings. What is bothersome is the fact that my sister and the kids are here. We already had an establishment with the current family that we can pay the bills, have food, and internet for entertainment. We all have our respective roles. Aunt: Brings grandmother to grocery store and pays her own in TV / Food. backup cook of the house. Dale / Bitmap: Pays for Internet, Food, Electricity, and power bills. Also in charge of Ground rules of the house. Leader of the pack Dale Sr / Dad: Maintains structure and fixes problems within the household. Also pays for Internet, Power, and Groceries. Grandmother: Pays Nothing. Main cook of the house. Sister: Nothing. Not trying to be the asshole here but I don't see any playing cards. So I judged she had about two months before she gets her act together and finds a job and a place to stay. Everyone agreed. Even with that judgement I still have a hard time with these kids. Love em both to death! Love spending time with them! But the decision is final. October is the month she has to move out. |
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| you do know that if she up and joined the military all insurance for the kids would be paid for right? ... Just sayin.
Anywho... plus the kids would be stuck at that house for no more than a year if she picks the right job so you would have to deal for a little longer. E: Tell her Go Air Force (Last edited by Sorcha Rohan on 07-14-11 05:51 AM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| I don't think it sounds like she has the discipline for military service, but that is my opinion. Honestly, I agree that it is a good option that would get them out of the house quickly and efficiently.
So I am just wondering how your sister is reacting to all this. I mean, is she responding like an adult, agreeing with you and looking for work... or like a child, which is how she's been acting? |
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Cteno Super Shotgun Moderator Since: 01-11-05 Since last post: 91 days Last activity: 89 days |
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Originally posted by Elara That's what boot camp is for. |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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Originally posted by Sorcha Rohan If anything. I hate it when people tell me this because I know I can do a hell of a lot better. But in her situation, she has no Diploma, no GED, no anything. Just two kids, herself, and that's it. Just that. I mean, she isn't worthless. But this is why I stuck with school and got into my internship the MOMENT I left high school. Cause I knew things were going to be hard even with a diploma and thankfully I can get a decent job easily thanks to my work history. But her? She worked at several resturants and a tattoo parlor. She really needs to get her shit together. Hell she was crying one night saying that she has to do something and was chiming in saying that she wants to get an internship as a professional tattoo artist. *Bangs head against wall* But last night was the last fucking straw for me. She went out and asked if I could watch over the babies while they were asleep. At first I didnt want to. But someone had to. Mind you, I had work at 6 this morning. Every hour or so, those kids would wake up FREAKING THE HELL OUT over my sister not being there. So I had to get up. Walk into the room, put some cartoons on, sleep on the same bed as they do. Wake back up, turn TV off, and go back to bed. 6AM. Sister comes home. And I leave this on her door: "Before you ever leave this house to go hang out with your friends. Just note that you are now a mother and you don't have time for that shit anymore. I have work in less than 30 minutes and guess how much sleep I got last night? You promised to be home at 1AM and oh hey, it's 6AM. No more phone. You don't need one to work. No more internet. Your kids can live without Cartoons. No more asking any more money from my family. The moment you read this. Talk to Grandmother. Your kids were keeping her up all night. LOVE YOU! - Dale" She isn't home right now. But her fucking mess is though. E- Oh yeah, dad didn't agree with me when I got home on the note I left her. But some people have to work and it's not our responsibility to watch over her kids when she is out and about "Hanging out with friends". "Toche" dad says. Can't wait until she get's home when mean old Uncle Dale has got the internet, TV, and everything out of her room. Before I leave work I am going to make sure she is out looking for a fucking job and the kids are at a proper babysitter. No one here can watch over them. And if she isn't. She will be living in her fucking car. (Last edited by Bitmap on 07-18-11 06:35 PM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| If it wasn't for the fact that you guys cannot really take care of them either, I would say start the ball rolling on taking the kids out of her custody because she's an unfit parent... that should light a fire under her ass if she actually cares about them. | |||
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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| This is it. I was waiting for this to happen.
Screaming? Check Dad yelling? Check Sister Crying? Check Dad spanking kids because they made a total fucking mess? Check Sister freaking out because of it? Check Sister on her way out the door? Check I mean it's pretty bad right now. Even though this is a negative situation she is literally asking and begging to leave. It's happening right now. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| Sounds like a total mess, sorry you're stuck in the middle. | |||
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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| Alright, so it's pretty much over.
We found out yesterday that she was stripping at the platinum club (YES. STRIPPING) and giving most of her money to some guy who does not have a car, but is too living with his mommy and daddy; to purchase pot for him. She tried to blow smoke up our ass saying that she had bhroncitus because of the house she was living under. And finally, today. As I was pumping gas in the car. Dad had to get gas from his lawnmower to put gas in her car so SHE could go to the gas station to get gas. 1- She didnt get gas. 2- She dropped off Dad and told him that she was coming right back. 3- An hour and a half later. She didnt come back, and she is with that guy. Welp, Dad and I called her phone. Dad told her if she is coming back she is only getting her stuff and leaving. And I called her up telling her if she does not get her stuff in the next 4 hours I am reporting her to the police for having marijauana in my house. End of story. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| So how did it all turn out? Is she gone? | |||
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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| She is gone. A lot of stuff popped up at the house that we found out she was doing. Plus left like four garbage bags worth of kids clothes at the house. But for some reason, the smurf computer we let her borrow was taken. I guess she found that computer pretty damn important?
She is pretty much disowned from the family. |
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Cteno Super Shotgun Moderator Since: 01-11-05 Since last post: 91 days Last activity: 89 days |
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| Definitely a waste of a human vessel. I'm glad she's no longer bogging down you and your family, nobody needs that kind of crap.
I'm only concerned for whom she may next target... |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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| I honestly don't give a shit where she goes next. She sent me a message on facebook the other day and I immediately trashed it and removed all contacts with her.
Mom has been crying about it and she feels guilty that she was raised like that. But honestly, she had it coming for a good while now. And the only thing I am going to do for her is take her to a shelter when she needs it. But the cost of that is to turn those kids over to their father. She needs to call a gynecologist to get her head out of her ass and face the fact that life for her is CRASHING before her eyes. She literally has nothing right now. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| I think a proctologist might be better suited to that. Is there no way to get the kids away from both parents? I mean, the dad doesn't sound like much of a peach either. | |||
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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| Im not as to go far as to call DFHR on her.
The last thing I learned currently is that she is living with her best friends Grandmother. Still stripping. And...that's it. Not much else to say here. Do I honestly care? My side disowned her. So Therefore I don't care. Close thread. E- Might as well read this heartbreaking mesage I got from my sister: "Hey Bubbah, im sorry for the mess i cuzed you and I hope daddy and you still love me but what you guys treated ne was wrong and i have a lot to back up with can you give your family a break??? I just got the mail for food stamps and i told grandmother that i was gonna provide and yet dad was upset for the fact that i didnt have it one time". Got those letters Friday. All of the food stamps she could ask for. Sent her a message and this was her reply: "Well I got them at Blue's house and now she is living the life. Fuck you Anthony!!!!!!" Welp, good riddance, and now it's time to show everyone how I can live without military being pushed down my throat. GO FUCK YOURSELF CHRISTINE!!! YOU MAD!? YOU FUCKING MAD!? CRY SOME MORE! IT MAKES ME FEEL OHHHH SOOO FUCKING GOOOODDDDDDDD (Last edited by Bitmap on 08-13-11 09:30 PM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| The really bitchy part of me says you should send the letter back with all the spelling and grammar mistakes highlighted and corrected with an addition saying "If you learned how to write properly perhaps you could get a real job."
Honestly, she should be ashamed of herself. No one should ever be proud to be living on food stamps, those are for people that really need them, not for people who are lazy and can't manage their money. Strippers make decent money on tips if they are decent, so I guess she even sucks at that job. |
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