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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Sex and how does it effect a releationship |
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Jedi Master Desroth Priest          Since: 08-24-04 From: Macomb Since last post: 5269 days Last activity: 4709 days |
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| i had my first *real* sexual experince today with my girfriend. I wont go into specifics, but i can say there was no genitalia on genitalia. I was wondering, how will this affect our releationship? i mean, will she expect me to go out with her more, or want me to do that more? she liked it, but i dont want to make her think i am trying to press it on her. anyone have suggestons or comments about this? i dont know if this will offend people or anything with this, but i just want advice from people who know about his sort of thing a little bit more. | |||
Master Naruto Magician  Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 6694 days Last activity: 4224 days |
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| Well...I really wouldn't be the best person to give advice on this subject cause I don't really know a lot...ok, anything on this subject other then what i've heard. So.....she'll want to think you're more commited. I'm just guessing but...I think she'll also want to be ma bit more closer, emotional, mentaly, and family-wise...I guess that's it for me. for some reason, I think Rogue will have a LOT more input then me. Just call it a hunch.
i'm not saying Rogue sleeps around or anything...but on subjects like this, she's really contributed a lot....don't get the wrong idea people!!!! ::hugglees Rogue:: |
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Darkness Hoarder Ready to be challenged in sim battles Since: 10-07-04 From: Petaluma,CA Since last post: 6630 days Last activity: 6107 days |
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| I also think Rogue will have much better imput but I suggest asking her if shes comfortable and if not just go more slowly with her.
*looks at Desroth's age* AND because your still not above 18 (Nether am I) I think you should go extra slowly anyway...Your still in highschool dont do anything your not ready for... (Last edited by Darkness on 05-25-05 09:24 AM) |
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Xeoman Ball and Chain Trooper Administrator  Since: 08-14-04 From: 255 Since last post: 87 days Last activity: 76 days |
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| All I can say, is what Darkness said basically.
Not only do you want to ask your girlfriend about this, but yourself. What you're doing now is probably something you'll neve forget, so I'd make sure it's nothing you'd regret. But since you've already done it, and I have absolutely no hands on experience with this kind of thing, I can't really say what you should do. I'd suggest taking it slowly, and thinking about this for awhile. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| Wow, Rogue has stolen my title of Sexpert it seems, lol... and she gave it to me!
Anywho, as one of the "experienced" ones I suppose I should impart my wisdom (or at least observations). Now, since you said there was no "genitalia on genitalia" I am assuming that you did not actually have sex (either that or you are not human)... which leads me to think oral. You can correct me if I am wrong. Now, as far as your girlfriend is concerned: I do not know what type of girl she is, since there are ones that are more... well... "clingy" than others. Reguardless, I'm assuming that she is the same age as you, and most 16 year old girls do tend to get more emotionally attached after moving up a step in the relationship. So yes, she will most likely expect a bit more commitment, possibly even more affection. However she may be one of the few who continues like nothing happened. It is good that you do not want to pressure her into anything. That alone makes you more decent than half the guys I went to school with and you should be proud. Now here is the thing, it is probably best not to try and do it again too soon unless she initiates it. Why? Well, at least with what I have been through and seen, many girls will start to think that the only reason you're with them is that you want sex. It is a sad but true fact. Don't be too distant from her or anything, but don't ask to do it again a week later. Yes, girls are confusing... I'm probably confusing you know. So I will be simple: Continue being the sweet guy you are and next time you guys feel like doing that or anything more serious make sure she wants to, and tell her that it is her choice because you don't want to make her do anything she doesn't want to. She will love you more for that. Now, this is my own advice, but wait on getting any more serious until you are both sure that you are ready. It is not fun to look back on your first time and wish that you had waited or that things had been different. Hope this helped and that I didn't confuse you too much. |
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| ok I haven't really read through some of the long rants other people have been able to put together so I'll just put my two cents in and if I'm repeating anything anyone else has already said then that must mean it's especially true.
Sex can drastically change a relationship or it can do nothing to the relationship except the fact that you're now having sex. It really depends on how you make it affect your relationship. Sex is a serious thing in any relationship but it will only take over or drastically affect the relationship in a negative way if you let it. The biggest concerns or pieces of information one needs to keep in mind is legality. Agewise you're in trouble wih this kinda stuff if you get caught. Disease and pregnancy are big things here so if you actually do move on to more serious actually sexual activities be very careful. Really sex is not the biggest part of a relationship. But is does have its place in any adult relationship and can be a very good thing if proper precautions are taken and both sides are fully willing and all that jazz. If I think of anything else I'll re-post. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| Holy crap, people are recommending I talk to someone. Zoowie!
EDIT: Just for the record, Uzu sweetie, I know what you meant. 
I personally think there's too much bullshit that revolves around sex. Like the physical act has got hurt, rage, taboo, and love in its gravitational pull or something. It comes with being human, I suppose. It's human to be physical with someone and it's human to want it. These things tend to make it the most difficult topic to really discuss. I used to be one of those people that was saving myself and thinking it was only for the man I'd marry, but once the virginity's gone and you open up a bit, you tend to lose that ideology. Anyway, as some have said, sex can either hurt or help a relationship; either way, it changes things no matter how much you might believe it doesn't. Your relationship is already changed now that you've partaken. When it comes to most females, when they have their first (consensual) sexual interlude, it's usually because they trust, and in most cases, have strong feelings for the other. After a bad first sexual encounter many can fall into depression or be turned off from sex altogether. This can be because they feel the man has used them just for sex, feel degraded, any number of things. The key is to not let emotions get too involved. Consider her feelings, though. It can be a much more emotional experience for the woman, as I've said. Was she really wanting it, like did she invoke it? Was it acting in of the heat of the moment? Take heed of these feelings. I didn't lose my virginity 'til I was almost 19, but before that I had partaken in several physical acts with others. If you can control your emotions and act on sheer pleasure, it can be a lot more fun, but for those who can't (specifically many females) they tie too much emotion into it and can easily end up hurt. With my boyfriend, Brandon (Zoso), it's not a huge part of our relationship, but we are very active. It's an intimate part of our relationship and I often feel a deeper connection during and after with him. Having a very giving partner can contribute to positive feelings toward sex. Other things to consider would be contraception. As if sex weren't a difficult enough topic, STD's and pregnancy can be even more hurtful between lovers. If you're going to partake, Stop, Think, and Act Responsibly (STAR). If you're both REALLY wanting it and don't have protection, STOP! Do you really want to risk it? Either don't hit it or go out and buy condoms. There's no law that prevents ANYONE from buying them, of age or otherwise. Sex is a safe and pleasureable act between two (or more) people. There's really nothing to worry about if you're smart about it. It's a healthy act. If you need any help with anything specific, just ask. PM me, IM me, anything you want to do. Sorry if I wasn't much help. (Last edited by Rogue on 05-26-05 02:08 AM) |
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Rauni Since: 08-14-04 Since last post: 1545 days Last activity: 1545 days |
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Originally posted by Rogue Actually, it can do both. If it help with your girlfriend improve a better relationship, your friends and family will think different and you would break that relationship too. As a friend... I strongly advise you not do it because to improve a relationship but how can it affect other people like me, your father, your mother, and most of your friend. Sex can almost affect everything in your life. Also, sex can give AIDS and HIV if you are not totally aware of everything. Heck, most sex protection such as condoms doesn't protect you alot. A condoms would give about 73% protection. It doesn't come close to 100%. That can increase the amount of you having some sexual transmitted diseases too. Plus, I am pretty sure your girl is desperately wanting to have sex with you but I must tell you to take it slowly and at a steady rate before committed to having sex. If you just have sex right away, there will be no protection that you may get a baby or sexual transmitted diseases. The only way to get a 100% protection against sex is to be absentism (meaning to avoid any sexual contact and sex). Plus, if you did have sex, there could be a chance that BOTH of your relationship go from having a nice start straight to hell-living life and fighting relationship. And some of your friends could avoid you too... Kinda like a huge risk factor to me. This type of risks, Desroth, is not really worth it. I may not understand your girl's feeling Desroth, but I want you to break it slowly and softly to her. I do not want you to break the relationship off suddenly but it is better to be safe instead of sorry. Originally posted by Rogue ^--- The stupidest thing I ever heard about sex. It can kill, thanks to AIDS and HIV. And you are smart about it... how come most smart people do it anyway? |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| Beowulf: thanks for insulting my knowledge, especially when you have absolutely no experience and have probably done nothing more than hear all of the bad things about sex from your parents and propaganda in school. You're 15.. 16, maybe?
*New flash* NOT EVERYONE HAS AIDS!!! It's preventable and I HIGHLY doubt Desroth's girlfriend is carrying anything, especially at their ages. You're making it sound like sex with anyone, no matter how much experience they have, will infect their partner, regardless of protection. Sex IS much safer than people give it credit. Yes, you do have to smart about it by protecting yourself, but perpetuating propaganda like this is the kind of thing that can ruin others' relationships which it looks like you're trying to do, Jon.. Nathan, whatever you choose to be called now. When used correctly the average condom has a failure probability of 2%. To ensure successfully preventing pregnany and STD's, it's best used with a spermicide. Now on this "breaking things to her," Desroth, it's your choice if you want to continue. Don't think of your parents or anyone else on this one, seriously. It's your business what goes on between the sheets. If you choose to stop for your friends, it's you decision, but consider wisely WITHOUT the "bros before hoes" motto. Desroth, I would expect your girlfriend will either want to be around you more or around you less, but if she did like it as you say, you can almost expect to see her more. As others have said, just be a sweet boyfriend and you have nothing to worry about. Just don't force her into anything. Take it slow, but at the same time, explore a bit. (Last edited by Rogue on 05-26-05 04:36 PM) |
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Jedi Master Desroth Priest Since: 08-24-04 From: Macomb Since last post: 5269 days Last activity: 4709 days |
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| yeah, it takes alot of trust and commitment for this type of thing. I told her that I wouldnt push her to do anything she didnt want to do. I also like her alot, and we both feel we can trust one another. Also, this should be closed because my mom gave me the birds and the bees talk for the 2000000 time when she heard we were going swimming... yeesh, sometimes moms can be overbearing...
and Beowulf, Rogue is right, you dont know squat about sex. I know about AIDS, and STD's and how they are passed. I know she doesnt have anything and i know i dont have anything. Sex is a natural thing, you just got to have common sense and use as much protection as possible. Also, dont commit on how effective a condom is, IT SAY IT HAS A PROTECTIVE RATE OF 98% RIGHT ON THE BOX! Also, i know about the whole baby issue. She knows the risks to, infact, she was the one who wanted to start any sexual action and wants to continue. Anyway, thnx Rogue, i will explore a bit, lol! (Last edited by Jedi Master Desroth on 05-27-05 03:06 PM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| Since it was requested...
*closes* Birds and bees talk because you were going swimming? Sheesh! I'm sorry. |
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