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12-08-22 05:06 AM
Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Xeoman
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Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 60 days
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Posted on 06-16-10 09:07 PM, in Currently playing? Link
I'm glad I still kept my PSP around, I plan on picking up Peace Walker soon. Sounds incredible.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

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Posted on 06-17-10 09:13 AM, in Welcome Link
*Castle in the Sky music plays in the background*
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

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Posted on 06-17-10 09:39 PM, in E3 Link
The beginning of Konami's conference was all about drugs, in case you guys missed it:


Spoiler:
Sorry I can't give you those 10 minutes back.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
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Posted on 06-17-10 09:42 PM, in Sports apathy Link
If you guys are familiar with the KS vs Raiders rivalry, things have gotten pretty hellish from time to time during those games. Silly beans.

Because sports are SERIOUS BUSINESS and they're rich for no reason.
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Posted on 06-18-10 03:04 AM, in E3 Link
Sadly that's all the new Goldeneye looks like to me, a total complete cash in. It's under Activision and more specifically I've heard it's being developed by the team that did the other N64 Bond games like The World is Not Enough... and those were, eggghhhh.

That and FPS's on the Wii just don't excite me, lol. For some reason I feel like it won't sell very well even with such a name, because of the Wii's market, but who knows.

Plus, Goldeneye is Bronson. NOT DANIAL CRAIG!!!


(Last edited by Xeu on 06-18-10 03:04 AM)
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
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Posted on 06-18-10 03:07 AM, in All Points Bulletin (Or APB) Link
The customization is incredible.

I saw a friend play a good chunk of it and it looked really awesome. Kind of wish it was coming to consoles though. But yeah, I just can't get enough of city based open sandbox games, and this one looks like it'll actually do multiplayer really well. Hopefully they throw in some interesting game modes down the road. Whenever it comes out hopefully I'll have a better video card and can run it.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
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Posted on 06-18-10 03:10 AM, in Thunder. Link
Call me crazy but I never got too into Thundercats, or I just never caught it on TV too often.

During that time and during those specific TV blocks I remember being more into Voltron and Ronin Warriors, lol.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
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Posted on 06-18-10 01:40 PM, in E3 Link
I'm glad the PSN Premium service is optional. That's how XBL should be if you ask me, it's a bit absurd to have to pay for internet access on that console on top of an internet bill itself and when you can play on other systems online for free.

But yeah, Nintendo easily took the cake here, no competition. 360's show was a joke and as usual it feels like Sony doesn't seem to care much, so yeaaaaah.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
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Posted on 06-19-10 05:42 AM, in Incredibly awkward family situation, help ASAP Link
Well rarely do I try to use this forum thesedays, but I really do need some extra opinions and suggestions on this case.

Over the last two years I think I've really picked up my life back together and am back on the road to getting things done. Things are going good and I like doing it at my pacing.

Long story short earlier this week my family threw a big one at my shoulders, they want my sister and I to attend a local seminar/counseling group thing called Breakthrough. My parents and all their friends and everyone in the world who's attended it apparently loves it, saying that it can really help with outlooks and ideals in life, improve relationships, etc, and it's also not supposed to be religious at all. Thing is, I really don't have a lot of interest in going. It's a total of about 10 full days in 2-3 months or so and I don't believe you can just go to the first few or anything.

This is where it gets awkward. My relationship with my sister is pretty bad, not in that we have any issues with one another at all, but that there's hardly any relationship at all. We hardly know each other. I'm mostly at fault here but it's kind of both of us I'd say. The age gap is the main issue here, I'm 22, she's 17, growing up we've always been far and apart in a lot of stuff and we've always been more interpersonal types, so it's rare if we strike up conversation. We've been working on it pretty well the last few years and it's getting better. I think this is something we can improve naturally and in a way I even think if I moved out and she grows up just a bit more, it'd be a whole different situation. If I moved out I could see it helping improve our interactions a lot, but I really have a hard time explaining this one.

Second part is that in a way my parents are letting me decide on this one, at least I think, because I'm 22. But I'm 22 and still living at home and it's scary to think how they'll react if I say I don't want to go. The payment is very heavy for this service and we've been in a ditch for several years now, my parents even said it'd probably take them 2 years or so to pay this off, but they are fully ready and wouldn't have a problem doing it. Obviously they really really want me to go and during our random recent family dinner (when they brought this up), they made sure to keep enforcing the fact... that I can trust them, they only want the best for me, etc, which is all true. I'm completely understandable with them there.

I even just got a message from my sister on Facebook (which I'm sure fully enforces the fact of how odd and poor our relationship is) about this today, my parents brought up the fact it'd help her if I went to this thing so my sister would know a familiar face and this could even probably improve our relationship, which is all true. But she says that stuff and notes how disappointed my parents would probably be if I didn't go, probably along with her.
(funny thing here is that I have wanted to talk to her about this and a few other things over the last few days, but she's either been out of the house somewhere or completely tied up with her boyfriend. I just want to let her know I love her, I know I'm an extremely faulty brother, it's nothing she did wrong, and that hopefully she wouldn't be angry or upset with me if I didn't go).

There's just way, way too much pressure here. This thing starts up on the 25th of this month I believe.

- Am I scared and or am I being very selfish here?

All in all, I just really do not have a lot of interest in going, at all. I really don't. It's as simple as that and I've been on that thought for this whole week. But now the situation is just dumping anxiety all over me. I know I'm older still living at home and my parents hardly ask anything of me (most of the time), and I could be doing more, but as I started saying at the start here I feel like I've been getting my life back on track on my own account and am doing very well at my own pacing. I know therapy is probably utterly different from this seminar stuff and there's the fact that I only have had experience with one therapist, but I absolutely hated it. He didn't help at all, but I just can't help but feel this stuff would give me the same kind of feeling.

Again, is this just me blindingly being selfish? Or in a way here does it sound like my family might have a hard time accepting me? Maybe I trap all my emotions and self evolution inside myself refusing others to help, I don't know. Who can explain their own character flawlessly?

Another problem here, another good point from my parents on the situation, is that the "timing" for this is pretty good. I'm only attending school this semester so far still looking for a job, so I do have a good bit of free time, and my sister is at a more mature age. As stated above it's a 10 day thing but these are full days and the third part is basically a 5 full day camping trip, we'll be spending the night there. I can see where my parents are coming from here. But on another hand I almost feel like this is just horrible timing because I'm really not "feeling it" right now and they sprung this up so randomly, like in a way I feel like I wouldn't mind suggesting "Could we do this next year instead?" ... but yeah, the "timing" might not be as good. I even kind of brought this up during that dinner but all my parents could say was "You can say that, but there will never be a time when you want to go".

Well, I think that's enough for now.

If any of you come here and try to convince me otherwise perhaps that'll unleash nothing but my selfishness, but again I just can't see a magical light flipping anytime soon that says "Yes, I'll go". Can't I be different? Or am I just scared of risks? I don't know, who does.


(Last edited by Xeu on 06-19-10 05:49 AM)
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
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Posted on 06-19-10 07:54 PM, in Incredibly awkward family situation, help ASAP Link
Thanks Rogue, again I don't know if I'm trying to make myself feel secure and reassured here by "hearing what I want to hear" from someone else, but I'm glad someone else thinks this kind of thing could be fixed more naturally and by ourselves. I don't think I specifically said that above, but that is the way I'm kind of looking at this here... I don't want this seminar to be an "excuse" to fix up my relationships with my family, I want us to fix that stuff ourselves. And we're on that track lately.

My parents went through this breakthrough thing a few years ago and was probably a huge factor that saved their marriage, but yeah. That was fresh just a couple of years ago, along with others they talk about who love it. As you said in the long run, I can't see something like this radically changing someone for who they are. Not that I don't think it could really help, I'm sure it can, but you probably know what I'm saying.

On another note though about "getting to know her boyfriend", the thing is... so far over the last few years she's always been kind of the clingy type and switches up relationships all the time, and it seems like she always has to be with someone. The current guy is a little older (20) but definitely doesn't seem much more mature than her age, but yeah. The thing is, just who knows if they'll even be together next week? The one really nice guy she meant last year unfortunately had a really hard life with his mom whom was beyond bi-polar disorder, pulled him out of school the last week of his Junior year, he "disappeared" for a week, etc. It was crazy stuff but thankfully he was able to move states away and live with his dad again and hopefully have a better lifestyle, the only problem here is that now him and my sister are states away. So she's kind of in a boyfriend relationship mess again.

I feel like it'd be pretty tough to talk about that kind of thing with her, with my tiny amount of experience in real relationships, our age gap and the gender differences... but yeah, maybe something I could bring up sometime with her.

Well no luck on talking today so far, she's been in and out, again with her boyfriend all day for awhile and I got like no sleep last night (maybe because of this) so I'm just kind of laying around. But we're all going out to eat tomorrow for fathers day, afterwards would probably be the perfect time to confront her. I know I need to be the one to do it.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
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Last activity: 55 days
Posted on 06-19-10 08:02 PM, in Ugh... I can't wait to get home *rant* Link
Well first off True, I'm really glad to hear you're okay and hopefully unharmed with all that chaos going on.

Anyways I know it's not much but is there anyone else higher up that's understanding like one of the bosses you mentioned? This sounds like it's been a long ongoing issue so maybe you've tried just about anything you can to get that guy and others off your back... I dunno.

Other than that I say just keep trying to keep yourself busy with events you enjoy and everything like the karaoke thing. But yeah it sounds like that's a bit hard to pull off too...

Well how much longer until your leave? I sure hope you get a long well deserved vacation.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
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Posted on 06-19-10 08:04 PM, in Awards? Link
Desert Heat Award Show? New name or something? Heh.

I think anyone would be for this, as it's been quite awhile since we've run them. Hopefully we can find those little trophy images again, haha...
Xeoman

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Posted on 06-19-10 08:10 PM, in Silly Things Link
Damn this thread is stressful. Why???

Well I absolutely know I've had a handful of these kinds of situations, probably with my first job at Jiffy Lube and my old buds there... a lot of us ALWAYS bumped heads real bad on days here and there, but we'd usually all be over it by the end of the day and I'm sure some silly stupid things would come along the way and just make us think "What are we arguing about?" haha.


(Last edited by Xeu on 06-19-10 08:11 PM)
Xeoman

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Posted on 06-19-10 08:13 PM, in *Cough cough choke* WHAT?! Link
This was my face right off the bat when I saw the title.

Xeoman

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Posted on 06-24-10 09:26 AM, in Incredibly awkward family situation, help ASAP Link
Yes, I honestly have not had the time to talk yet, our schedules have been so hectic this week all of a sudden. It will happen today though!

I'll keep you guys posted.
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Posted on 06-24-10 09:34 AM, in Manic-depressive, bipolar and everything in between Link
Well the title of this thread makes me want to ask, have you taken up any anti-depressants before? I'm no heavy med user at all but I eventually broke down two years ago and started trying some, eventually Paxil was the one that helped pull me out of the rut and next thing I know I was working full time for a year and tapered off the drug. The drug did leave me with an extra 20 pounds though, whereas Prozac I think it was made me lose a chunk of weight (it was pretty bad). The downside is these meds take a lot of experimentation and take awhile to wear off, so I was literally trying different doses and meds, etc, for about a year until I got the one that worked. It was worth it though and again, I'm usually pretty anti-meds but I'm glad I finally found some that helped.

Other than that I don't know what to say. Having a lot of family issues myself. But anyways life is too short to keep ourselves in the past and we've gotta live in the future, but that's not the easiest task in the world and I know I'm the same way with issues in the past and such. But just an ideal train of thought.
(restricted)
Xeoman

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Posted on 06-24-10 10:15 PM, in Manic-depressive, bipolar and everything in between Link
Originally posted by Elara
Force yourself to draw again, or play the guitar. To hell with being in the mood to do it, just do it. Take a class or something where you have a deadline to motivate you. Just do something to keep your mind active. You'd be surprised at how those skills come back.

Do this. Force yourself into some of your hobbies and surround yourself with things you enjoy doing. This helped me a bit in the past from time to time.

The zoloft incident is a bit scary and unusual, but not totally unheard of. It's recommended to see if you can see a therapist while trying out medications like this. And definitely understand if one therapist isn't working, don't give up and see someone else. I believe anti-depressants had multiple families of medications, does your doctor or whomever you're seeing know about the zoloft incident? The incident should be treated seriously. If you don't believe lithium is right for you try to explain why with your doctor or better yet if you feel comfortable about it, see if you can start fresh with another doctor and explain your past experiences on what meds and such, then see what they say. Chances are they might have a different idea, now that I think about it, I think a temp doctor I saw was the one that ended up putting me on Paxil and not my main doctor for the day. Funny how that works out.

Believe me I don't want to sound like a drug pusher at all, but yeah. It can be that little bump that can push you back out there just enough to get you going again.

Better yet is anyone in your line of family diagnosed with ADD? It's extremely hereditary. I haven't mentioned this on the boards at all yet, but chances are my mother, her family, and sister have had symptoms of ADD all along. They started taking meds and it's a miracle how much they help, so last semester I started taking some myself and from the day I started taking them on my schooldays, I never missed a single day from there on. Do research if you're interested or even curious about this, if you don't associate with the hyper active ADHD symptoms, there's the inattentive side as well (which is more than likely what I have). Memory issues, bad self regulation, lack of motivation getting myself out of bed unless I have an orderly set schedule, insomnia (overactive mind), etc. These are things that I have and so far meds for ADD have been pretty helpful. I'm still experimenting though, as I get some bad side ffects like tense muscles, headaches, lack of appetite, etc, later in the day when they wear off. The thing about these kinds of meds compared to anti-depressants however, is that they are -instant- and run out of your system pretty much the next day. So it's not as time consuming at all and you don't have to worry about tapering on or off.

I spoke to my psychiatrist about my big depression a few years ago and he basically said the core issue, ADD, could have been what really needed to be treated earlier. It sounds like depression and ADD symptoms go hand in hand quite a bit, but the funny thing is so far myself, my mother and sister, are probably in the belief that these meds are better than any anti-depressants we ever took. I only take them 2-3 times a week (regulation is a little more recommended here, lol) but even on the days I'm not on the meds, I feel like my mood and motivation has improved even more.

But that's me! So that's not the case for everyone, but I figured I'd bring that up. But I'll leave it at that in case you're already familiar with this stuff or not.


(Last edited by Xeu on 06-24-10 10:27 PM)
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
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Posted on 06-24-10 10:33 PM, in Incredibly awkward family situation, help ASAP Link
Well my dad and I had a little seminar tonight so far. I texted my sister awhile ago, but no response yet and I'm not sure where she's at.

My dad, bless his loving heart, has never been the best when it comes to talking about these serious situations when it's just one on one. We're not biological and I don't want that to be a major excuse here, but we just simply work and think very differently. So a lot of the times when he talks to me and tries to encourage me about a lot of stuff, I end up feeling a little bad about it instead, so his intentions are a bit reversed. If that's making any sense.

His big point here was that he and my mother love me and want the best, and they want me to want to go through this. So the major thing here is that I'm more than likely going to be feel a bit like I'm letting them down a lot with my decision.

But, yeah. It starts tomorrow and I'm still pretty set on not going, that's never really changed over the course of this week.
Xeoman

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Posted on 06-24-10 10:36 PM, in Here's a thought Link
Basically think of a collage of us members.
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Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Xeoman



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