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10-02-22 10:18 PM
Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Xeoman
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User Post
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 08-17-13 12:26 PM, in Answer one, Ask one Link
Definitely the classic nacho cheese.

How many times do your brush your teeth a day?
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 09-22-13 11:38 AM, in Remember when ... ? Link
Originally posted by Astrophel
And when Black Friday wasn't starting on Thanksgiving day?

That's definitely a weird one I've noticed as the years go by.

Good stuff so far... so relevant to our generation haha.

Remember when we didn't all have cellphones? Actually had to converse with people!

Remember shoes that lit up with each step?

Remember when videogames had mascots?

Remember CheatCC and printing off codes?

Remember magazines?
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 09-22-13 11:50 AM, in For you Stinky Poopers Link
lol, the website and the packages... wow.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 09-25-13 11:30 PM, in Remember when ... ? Link
Originally posted by Cteno
Remember that feeling you got when you put fresh batteries in your Gameboy?

All 6-8 of them for the Game Gear?
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 09-25-13 11:31 PM, in Threads can be marked NSFW now. Link
*nods*
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-08-13 09:43 PM, in It's October Link
Love the NSFW thread tag haha...

I guess it was no wonder I was destined to be born this month!

Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-08-13 09:43 PM, in The Current State of Xeomerica Link
Neither because I hate tomatoes but love fruit and vegetables so I declare it nothingness.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-09-13 03:48 PM, in It's October Link
Sauce on EVERYTHING!

That can go so many ways.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-10-13 12:50 AM, in It's October Link
We need answers.

Bouncidibly.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-10-13 12:50 AM, in The Current State of Xeomerica Link
That I will share, because I love bacon and everyone deserves some.

Bacon and eggs.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-12-13 01:54 AM, in Happy 28th birthday, all you bots! Link
It's the army I've spawned after my birthday!
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-12-13 02:02 AM, in Happy Birthday, Big Boss Man! Link
Yup.

26... weird. Well it's been kind of weird after 21 anyways, just a blur now haha.

Family dinner Wednesday that went horribly wrong. I wanted steak at my grandma's which is a usual, but it's been kind of an ongoing joke for a few years now with my dad not being the best at grilling. My grandpa passed away a few years back and he was the grillmaster, so yeah it's been an adventure since then... this time my grandma got some weird charcoal and yeah, it didn't cook right and of course it has to be timed with all the other food or else! So they stuck them in some oven for awhile I think and yeah, didn't turn out that great haha. My grandma and dad always get into it too.

Next year, I'll just pick a restaurant.

Took the whole week off, so that's been awesome.
This has been the greatest week ever weather wise.
Spent $200 less on my car than initially estimated, thankful I know a good mechanic!
Oh yeah, grandma also thought I was the "Big 25" so she gave me more money than usual... we told her eventually but it was hilarious and the check was already written out, oh well. lol
Beat some games.
Just about wrapped up all the workout sets with DDP Yoga. Still loving that stuff.
Going to see Gravity this weekend and hopefully drink a LOT.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-12-13 02:15 AM, in It's October Link
I thought I made a folder of my half-safe stash... I can't find very many anymore.

Well, this wallpaper shall do for now!

Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-12-13 02:53 AM, in It's October Link
You're prepared for battle!

I'm not prepared to organize my computer!

Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-12-13 03:02 AM, in I'm part of a Kickstarter campaign! Link
The pictures alone look amazing.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-12-13 03:08 AM, in Gnarly Radical Things Photo Album Link
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-24-13 08:00 AM, in Happy Birthday, Big Boss Man! Link
Haha, thanks man. Yeah I still see you as a forum... father figure... or such? lol

I seriously don't know what happened to my keg stand picture. I'm sure it's somewhere around here!
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-25-13 12:50 AM, in Filipino Link
This is heavy and you guys are completely in the dark on this I think. I've been writing up essays worth to a few friends around off and on for awhile lately with lots of details and emotions. And this is two years worth of development at my work, so just way too much to cover entirely at once here but yeah. I'll try to summarize.

MARRIED. I know. Please forgive me for being human and making a mistake?

Have you ever been indirectly ruined? I'll get back to this.

So there's this tiny chick at my work who's in her early 30's (doesn't look it at all though haha). She is (I think) like the nicest and most genuine person I've probably met in my life. Which, with the revelations this week, might be her greatest flaw as well. With only half the staff working Friday's, when I was a part of them for the first year or so I've been at this job, we bonded a fair bit. Her, this other guy, and this cool chick who moved away after awhile. She keeps in touch with her. But so yeah, just this very last week my friend said she still considers us her best friends and doesn't have that kind of friendship or trust in anyone else (trust me pharmacies are drama feuding warzones so it's been rough to say the least).

Back when I worked Friday's she would bring me cookies, cakes, other goodies every single week pretty much. Sometimes the other dude (of this small knit group) too, but they've always been like more of a brother/sister combination. Always been frustrating since she hates receiving gifts and ignores ideas and such to get her stuff all the time, just gives gives and gives when I worry she forgets to give HERSELF something sometimes. Still, it never felt like an obsession or overkill with the things she got me, so they usually felt meaningful, but were definitely frequent.

You know people in your life when you talk, it's like your words just float right through their ears? They just nod away and probably don't give a fuck? She's just always been the opposite. Lost track of how many good conversations we've had and she'd always give her full attention when I talk and vice versa. Always a lot of intense eye contact going on too when I don't really see her do that at all with others.

Everybody at work knows there's a crush going on here and everyone thinks it's MUTUAL. Both ways. But [if she likes me], she gets really hesitant or reluctant to do things if people try to put her and I in situations alone together. Like matching us up or pairing us up for some kind of project/job or whatever, when she never does this with anyone else, male or not. Yet there's just no way she's doing this because she does NOT like me, it definitely feels like anything but that. I've tried to joke about going back to working Friday's "only if I can close with you!" and she just instantly suggests someone else in a joking manner. There's been many cases of where me, her, and two other chicks will walk around the building during break, but if the other two chicks aren't around or not doing it, despite me and her still being up for it... the idea is instantly shut down and it's like we're not allowed to walk just the two of us. She also has a big thing on no-touching, culture, tiny woman, etc, a lot of this makes tons of obvious sense...but she's opened up to like that other dude and will hug him sometimes over silly things or whatnot. This year she had the idea to gather people up for my birthday to go out to dinner which happened last Friday and was a blast. She had no problem hugging everyone else when we were leaving, but... I had to go for the hug myself and it felt like it took an eternity for her to react and put an arm around me "Huhhhhhh, Steeeeeeve" (if she did, not sure if I even felt that). Drinking was involved and nothing crazy happened, but yeah on our way out I couldn't help but go in for another hug. Physical contact with her is a huge deal, but not impossible... but wow I think that's the first time in the two years I've known her I've laid a finger on her and vice versa.

A lot of this stuff just feels like silly playful grade school love. The kind where you pretend you don't want any of that, but you really do.

Now it gets nasty. She's been married for 11 years, she was 22 I think and the dude 34. She never talks about him. Ever. To anyone. Again, their culture and private life or something, but It's almost like... is it because she truly and honestly doesn't romantically love him? I guess this is the part where I say, one time we were joking about sexual stuff or something at work and she couldn't even say "sex" to us. Had to spell it out loud "es ee ex", she wasn't even joking and just sounded like a child. She lives in this huge house and goes on vacations a lot and is so into school it's insane. Children aren't on her agenda at ALL and well, she's 33 now and he's getting up there. The subject of kids is like a joke to her. It just seems unusual... like some kind of red flag. Maybe not, but I always liked her strong independence and interest in education. Still, she loves classical music and super goofy old fashioned names like her husbands, and is just completely in the dark about so much street knowledge, I'm almost worried this guy is some nutcase that has her locked up like some doll. She sounds dangerously sheltered to the point it's just like... she's living some fantasy and it's not fair because it's fake. I wish I could give her an ass kicking back down to reality, even if it sucks sometimes, it's real.

Lots of assumptions there, so let's add more. Ranting tonight with my friend at work who has his own perspective, we just kept coming together with the same questions. Did her husband just go over there and pick her out without her having much say? Was the love authentic or not? Is this now her time to experience things like flirting and blushing at the attention some of us give her, she plays it off, but it's obviously she loves it...? How am I not more badass and appealing than some middle aged balding tall old guy who somehow ended up with her?

I feel like I could type up pages and pages about her and she could probably do the same about me. And I'm not talking work bullshit or the family basics 101. Passions, hobbies, interests, things that drive us, etc...

I just can't describe the tension between us. I can't remember how or why but she gave me her number a long time ago and there's been plenty of texts since. At this point, without just completely confessing things, I have been utterly point blank with how much I dig her, she's my favorite, trust her the most, etccccccc.

There's no way she's playing a game here. Doesn't have that in her, that I know.

So yeah, the crush factor built back up again this month and everybody at work was noticing it again, joking, etc, I just couldn't help but let it all boil up in my head again. But finally this week by the day little reminders came back that yeah... this is forbidden... this will never happen... she probably doesn't feel that way... etc.

Finally today her and I along with the other dude (of the knit group that goes way back between us three)... were just talking and having fun during work, I picked up some papers and started making my away from them. The other guy then started to ask her a bunch of questions like theoretically this and that, about liking some guy and a guy liking her, and the things that were coming out of her mouth just like blew my face off. Even the idea of a guy (me!) liking her sounded like she would be completely offended that said guy (me!) would even dare to think things like that about her. I think she knew I was still standing around right there listening in. The other guy kept going trying to dig up more then she brought up that, years ago she did have some good guy friend that she found out started to like her more than a friend, but then completely cut her off and stopped talking to her. She continued that... she had to talk to her husband about the situation and was completely clueless about why the guy stopped talking about her.

Indirect or not, married or not, fuck it. This just kicked me in the balls. Can she seriously be THAT naive? There was one time in the past she approached me one day asking if I was mad at her... I can't even remember what it was about but I wasn't at all and it wasn't a big deal. But today I really wish she would have gotten the vibe and could have approached me... I was so ready to confess to her and straight up tell her you need to be careful... you can't do that! THAT! You cannot be that nice, caring, giving, honest, and interested in a single guy and not expect something to maybe accidentally develop. I wasn't the first, and might not be the last.

I shut down for half the day and AGAIN, it was like she could read me better than others and knew I was upset about or something (when everyone else was clueless)... or knew I was upset with her... or knew exactly what she did. But for half the day she wouldn't look at me at all after that big conversation happened. Finally I cooled off after she came back from lunch and got her attention to talk about random stuff... she's either the best actor ever, or talked to me like nothing just happened earlier. And it definitely hasn't felt like, she's thought I've crossed the line lately and had to take steps to push me away or something, if that makes sense. This just came out of nowhere.

So, that was one foot in no man's land I guess. I was waiting and seriously wanted something like this to happen and soon so I could get over it again or get worked up about other distractions in life, full well knowing that it was game over from the beginning with her being taken. But damn. Just can't help but shake the idea she might be very conflicted herself. But I'll have to put my barriers up before her now. If she's happy, great, if not, it's in her ballpark now. On one hand, I know it's selfish as fuck, horrible for me to put myself above their marriage, and completely wrong to blame her (for nothing?), but on the other I'm just like... how on Earth can you not see these things!? Do you realize what you're doing? Anyways I definitely don't want to resent anything, so we can just carry on as friends. But, yep. Today I just want to be really sad, pissed, and sensitive.
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-25-13 01:10 PM, in It's October Link


Have you ... seen where this one comes from? Weirdest thing I've ever seen. It's like full on hentai, but not at the same time. So awkward,
Xeoman

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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 140 days
Last activity: 32 days
Posted on 10-25-13 06:12 PM, in Filipino Link
Did I sum it up well? It really feels like we're both stuck and stranded in the middle of a mine field.
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Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Xeoman



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