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05-03-24 05:40 AM
Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Truth/Serum
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Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 05-16-07 03:37 AM, in TIME TO PARTY Link
I miss life going to school No more summer breaks for me
Won't be in college for like 6 years

What are all of you up to this summer eh?
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 05-16-07 09:17 PM, in TIME TO PARTY Link
Originally posted by Leon D. Sagara
School? ............ Whats That?????

((Been out for 5 years))


I kind of feel ya there. It's been 2 for me, at least for civilian school life. Not as long, but it still feels like an eternity

Originally posted by Katana
**hugs** It's okay. When we're going back to school and you aren't, you can point and laugh. Okay?

Lesse...plans for the summer. Gonna get a second job if this one doesn't give me more hours. Gonna study Japanese all summer. I can't take the 201 class next fall because it conflicts with the classes I HAVE to take. So I'll study, take the evaluation thingie and if I pass, I can take 202 in the Spring.

Other than that? No plans. Just gonna bum around and whatever comes up comes up. Teehee.


Thought you were going back to school in 2008? Well if not, then I guess that's better the sooner than later
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 05-17-07 04:14 PM, in New, not very official, have you ever thread. Link
Actually, that happens more often than I'd think.

I'm going to be nerdy and semi-quote Mr. Nemoy on this one (Spock)

"I often have some of my greatest epiphanys while in the shower."

Have you ever been trapped in a household appliance? (Washer, dryer, fridge, etc?)
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 05-17-07 04:23 PM, in The Last Link


What was the last...

...thing you ate?
- A wrap

...person you talked to on the phone?
- My sister

...person you e-mailed?
- Good question O_o

...person you hugged?
- Little brother

...person you kissed?
- my friend Jenna on the cheek

...time you laughed?
- earlier today

...time you cried?
- ..

...movie you watched in a theater?
- 300

...DVD you watched?
- part of Black Hawk Down


...video tape you watched?
- Hell if I remember

...song you listened to?
- whatever was on the radio on the way home

...book you finished?
- Flight of the Eisenstien

...heart-to-heart you had with someone?
- Jenna when I was home

...person you met?
- And actually became friends with: Stephany, my buddie's roomate

...person who died in your life?
- Let's not go there

...new food you tried?
- I try so many things, I don't remember.

...new thing you tried (event, action)?
- Dancing at a theme-dance at the college with stephany

...time you went around the house in just your underwear?
- last week?

...time you weren't fully sober?
- couple of months ago

...you "geeked" out?
- a month ago?

...thing you read in the bathroom?
- too long ago to remember

...bargain you made?
- Last night

...thing you planned?
- trip home?

...award you won?
- No clue

...piece of toast you had?
- last week

...present you gave?
- my little bro's bday presents

...porno you saw?
- actually watched on TV: Probably almost 3 years ago

...song you sang in the shower?
- Dunno the name

...song you had stuck in your head?
- mario cave music

...thing you marked on your calendar?
- my four day coming up

...errand you ran?
- cashed some coins last night

...drink you had?
- Mt. Dew

...cool thing you found?
- no clue

...time you brushed your hair?
- couple days ago

Well that was fun.
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 05-17-07 04:26 PM, in Havent slept in 24 hours... Link
I've been up for LONG periods of time all the time.

Usually, when I switch shift cycles every week, I'm up for a good 36 or so hours to re-adjust.

I know when I went to boot camp, I was up for about 42-43 hours before I got to sleep for the first time there. I've done more since, but I can't remember any specifics other than that.
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 06-01-07 11:25 AM, in Official Photo Album Thread Link
This is one of me that my sister took while I was home a month or two ago. I thought it looked pretty cool once she was done with it




(Last edited by Truth/Serum on 06-01-07 02:25 PM)
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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 06-02-07 02:33 AM, in For those who have played any RPG ever: Link
I give you: Big Blue Dress

Click Here
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 06-11-07 11:45 AM, in FINALLY!!!! Link
I did it! I finally did it!

I just qualified this morning! I passed my final oral board

To fill people in on what I'm talking about:

I just qualified as Electrical Operator at the MARF power plant (our trainer)

Joined navy 29th June 2005.

Completed 6 months of 'A' school for an electrical operator on March 10th.

Started end of april for Nuclear Power school and graduated there beginning of October 2006.

End of october to now, Nuclear Power Training Unit (Prototype school)

I'm so relieved. I just completed the highest hardest training pipeline that the Navy has to offer. 2 years in the works, finally done!


Now I'll be getting out of here at the end of the month, to my next command. I should know any time now (hopefully tonight) where I'll be going to and what submarine I'll be stationed on.


So I get 30 days of leave in between leaving here and getting there. I'll use this summer to go hoe, relax, and try to start my personal life over again. It's about time I try to live again. Now that this is out of the way, I hopefully will have a good short summer break

Not entirely sure what I want to do from here, but I'm trying to figure it out.


[Disclaimer: below is update/rant]




I still haven't really pulled my head together yet, nor have I been able to find a direction to take my life in again since my ex left me last year. I'm really trying to figure out what I want, and to be honest, at this point I've no idea.

Been going through the emotional falling off the cliff of apathy into depression for a long time now. I think I completely isolated myself from most of those who cared about me, to try and keep them out of it (such as my family) and several of my friends have had to back of, because they haven't been able to deal with my depression since. Not that I blame them. I've been a rather stagnant pool of black water that hasn't really stirred much into any sort of anything in a long time.


I honestly don't know if I'm even over my ex leaving me yet. I know my heart isn't. I gave my all for that relationship. But I let my family issues get to me too much and I went into depression, and that brought all of my other personal insecurities to bear, so I was depressed, and then I was dumped, left with an engagement ring and everything I'd been working for out the window. I don't know if I'll ever be okay with what happened.

But I'm still tryin to at least live with it. Barely, oh so barely doing that, but I have been. I guess.

I'm going to be buying a car in 2-3 days. Be driving across the country depending on where I'm stationed.
I look forward to seeing my friends and going camping for the first time since I joined. Maybe go to the beach for the first time with my family and friends since she left me. Slowly try and get my life back. Piece by piece, I want to be able to enjoy my life again.

Don't know what to do about my friends, or my family. There's lot's of issues going on there that have been causing most of the insanity in my life.Still in massive amounts of pain over my ex, still issues with family from before, a few new ones that aren't going to be fun to deal with soon as I get home... But whatever. I just hope I survive all of this.

And then I have to survive myself. But that's another issue all together.



So now I'm done with training. Got my entire future ahead of me. My past is behind me and will be coming along, but at last it's not exactly a road-block anymore.

I'm just happy I'm finally done. And now what I do is going to be for me. Not for her. At least that's what I tell myself now. I just wish I knew what I wanted


But at least I'm done! I've made it.

I've made it.

I'm so tired, I'm crashing


(Last edited by Truth/Serum on 06-11-07 02:50 PM)
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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 06-12-07 09:13 PM, in FINALLY!!!! Link
Yeah. Went over to admin last night. Saw the list of orders.

I'm being sent to the USS Montpilier. It's in Portsmouth NH. In the shipyards.

SO... I'll probably be flying home for my 30 days off.




Though I've just found out a few things that have made me severely depressed again

But hey, my grandmother survived another surgery today. Cancer. again.



I honestly don't think I've many friends left here on the board. I haven't posted hardly at all since I've been in the Navy, and that's been this past 2 years.

It really hurts to think about some things. But I think in the long run, I was just never really meant to make it. We'll see what happens. But I don't think I'm going to go on much past this year. Even with the help from my friends and family, I still think I made a mistake a year ago, and it's something I think about every day since. And things just get worse and worse every time I take a look around.

I've even ruined several good friendships over this too.

I just hope in the end, I don't hurt anyone else too. Though I'd certainly want to. This madness in my head has to stop. I want the pain to go away, all of it... But I don't think it's going to. Too many reasons why it's not going to. And I can't stop them. Not without doing something that's going too far.

God what's wrong with me
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 06-12-07 09:56 PM, in Update? Link
Originally posted by Katana

Love life: None! Finally! It's staying this way for a while!



Looks like that didn't even last a month.



Anyhow borrowing format from Nagis:

Home:
Falling apart. Family is breaking up, even having money for food has started to be an issue. And someone is closer to death and I've been scared about that.

Friends:
Mostly gone now. Only a few talk to me anymore.

School:
Done for now. Will be working hard again come august.

Gaming:
No time for this

Health & Mood:
Health is good. Mood, not so much. Mostly falling in a downward spiral at this point and I've been hurting those who care about me due to my depression I know people care about me, and seeing me hate myself so much is part of why none of my friends can really talk to me anymore. So I guess to say, I'm back to riding rock bottom with my life.

Love Life:
None. see above.

Misc:
Going to be moving in two weeks. Should have some big changes in life due to it. Hopefully they'll be good ones. I've heard some good things about moving to the coast.
My job is going to change, I'll actually be DOING it instead of just studying it.
Buying a car in a day or two (Three if I take an extra day to look around) So that will be good.

Just gotta keep on moving on until I can't move anymore I guess. That or find a way to forget everything and start over, but that's not going to happen. Maybe I'll just spend some time with my friends on the other side of the country this summer and drink myself into oblivion.

That sounds like a good plan.
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 06-14-07 08:17 PM, in FINALLY!!!! Link
Honestly, I wish it were that easy. We've not had any real contact in a long time now. Haven't even talked to her on the phone since last november now... And the few times we messaged eachother after that went.. poorly to say the least, mostly due to my making very poor decisions in trying to fix/prevent a few minor things that ended up fireballing in my face, and making matters far far worse, and put me in that current state of zero contact with her ever since.


And I think I've got a few more serious issues to deal with. Mostly it has to do with letting go of the past (Something I've never done before in my life, no matter what it's been. And that's just part of who I am unfortunately) The second part of that being I gave my all for her, and there's a lot of things even about myself that can't ever be changed now because of that.

Beyond all that, I loved her for several years, and she was my best friend up till the bitter end, and she was my best friend for the year prior to us getting together as well. So that makes it harder to deal with. When she left, I lost both the girl I loved, and my best friend, my future, my comfort, my hope, and my dreams. And my world felt oh so much smaller and emptier. To be frank, it still does.

And that's the problem.


I dunno.

As far as the first post, it WAS originally a happy post But then I got distracted, then upset over something else, and when I came back, finished writing it in a different mood. And upon realizing that, edited it and put in the disclaimer.

Also, you're the second to last person I'd expect to comment in anything I put up, but I do appreciate the honest advice. ACTUAL advice too. That's always preferred over "Just get over it" which I get all the time Thank you, even if I've heard it a lot before. (Which also is a problem in itself, that I've been hung up on this long enough for it to reach the point where it's all become repetitive and going nowhere )





ON A GOOD NOTE:

I've got a new car Well, new for me. It's a 97 chevy Blazer decent car,though the fan belt squeaks when I run the damned thing. I'll have to get that looked at sometime. But other than that, it runs real nice and I really do like it.

Saw Pirates 3 today too with a friend from work. We liked it, though it's not the same as the first two. Different in a lot of ways actually. But oh well. It was good enough for what it was. I really liked Barbosa in it
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 06-14-07 08:29 PM, in What are you listening to (revived)? Link
Been listening to swedish techno music videos on youtube. Also Retro vs Techno video, and Big Blue Dress.

Amongst other things
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 07-20-07 03:27 AM, in Rememberance... Link
These are the atrocities being committed that no one pays attention to in the mainstream..

It hurts deep to think that this kind of thing still happens out there. That poor girl deserved far better than she got.

I've known several different people who've gone through similar abuse.. And it makes my chest hurt. I've cried before hearing what's happened to people I've cared about, but none of them have been killed like that. It's just horrible...

I wish things like this never had to happen. I just don't understand it.

Why are people so cruel?
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 07-20-07 03:32 AM, in You choose Link
I would definitely rather be remembered for a good thing, than a bad thing.

Besides, living the life of a comic genius would be awesome. So if you went out in the end, at least you'd have had a good time doing it.

Living as an idiot can be either decent, or horrible. Even if you lived for a long time

*Votes for the comedian*
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 07-23-07 03:20 AM, in Bawls... Monster... whatever ENTERGY Link
MUAHAHA!

P|-|34r m1!

I've had a case of Bawls before. Drank several of those Redlines the other day (those are good for getting your body moving) Drank a bunch of AMP tallboys regularly for a while. Jolts friggin rock. I love Jolt. I can drink several of those in a row. Rather like the Khaos Monster too. I've tried every kind of energy drink I've ever seen, but those are just the ones I like.

Mind you, this is all on the job, and was essential for me to keep rotating my schedule for a while. I haven't had one in a while though.

According to everyone who worked with me, I mostly seem the same, but I twitch a lot more. That and it gives me heart issues, but I don't really care anymore. "I'll sleep when I'm dead" was my usual response when people asked me how I dealt with not sleeping for such stretches at a time. (Rotating shift work of 12 hour days 7 days in a row week after week for 9 months rather sucks)

I'm just waiting for my heart to explode on me
Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 08-08-07 08:08 PM, in Official Photo Album Thread Link
Okay, here is a few from me last month while I was home on leave for the last time this year:


First one is me out camping, my sis took the pic:



Next is me and my sister Jenny, and yes, that's my actual sister




And lastly, in case the first one from geoff wasn't enough, here is another one to reconfirm it



So there you go. I win the "who geoff belongs to" war in his UCs

Truth/Serum

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Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 08-08-07 08:33 PM, in Poem to people I care about [w/ long rant at end] Link
Here is a question in a form of a poem.

“I’d give the rainbow for you.”

I miss the colors of the rainbow,
The colors I happened to see,
I saw when I was around you.

I miss sitting under the sky and the stars,
With you there at my side staring up and watching,
It made me happy, just to be there with you.

And now you’re gone, just like my rainbow,
In a mirror, only grays are there for me to glance,
I’ve lost my own sense of me.

Several times, I’ve been lying out under the stars,
Each time to enjoy just being able to stare,
But now I can no longer be there with you.

I wish I could give you the colors of the rainbow,
I know that each time I came, so happy you looked,
There are a few I love deeply, among them is you.

I doubt I’ll ever be able to be there under the stars,
Sitting there with you again as we gander,
Because I don’t know how much longer I’ll be me.

I can never forget how you made me feel love like the colors of the rainbow,
I wish that I could be there, and into your eyes forever gaze,
But please remember, I will eternally have love in my heart for you.


I tried to do something using 3 different themes for the ending of each line, and in turn did 3 lines, with a sort of 3 phases to the poem.

In this poem, I tried to express how much I love this person, and what they make me feel, and at the same time, the depression I feel now that I can no longer be with them. And never again may be able to.

You see… My grandmother has been going through surgeries since last September. She’s didn’t have much of a chance to make it through the first ones. (15% survival rate). And it’s taken a serious toll on her, and she’s only just able to start to recover finally. We hope the worst is over. She’s the woman who raised me the most, and I love my entire family dearly, but for her there is a special sort of love. When her and grandpa start to cry, I simply can’t not do the same… I can be the strong one for anyone else in my family, but for them, when they tear, it just breaks my heart… Hell, I’m crying now just typing this up remembering her tearing up when I left her last week…

And at the same time, this poem can apply to just more than one person. There is also my father, Dennis. Things are getting worse for him. Being on disability, only 900 a month to support himself and try and cover medical, financially he’s falling. And then his health, the reason he’s disabled now. He’s dying. There’s nothing they’ll do for him either. Both his kidneys failed a few years ago, and he’s on dialysis. Only now his right arm veins have collapsed, and they’ve switched to his left.. All those implants. And they’re failing with both. His right arm is swollen, and it’s literally a bloody mess near the upper half.. He’s not going to make it much longer, and he’ll only make it if he can get a new kidney… And several of his friends ahead of him on the insanely long list… They’ve already passed.

I’m going to lose him. And I don’t know how to handle that. I’ve cried about it a million times now. And to think, my own family thinks I’m the strongest one out of them all (though they know I’m in pain). I have my own sense of honor and what’s noble. He may not have been the most openly caring person in his marriage with my mom, but since she left him, he completely changed. He learned to express how much he loved those around him. Both his long time friends, and his own son, my little brother. And also, myself. We didn’t interact much when I was little, even when brad was little, but looking back, he always was there, and always had a hand in everything trying to make us happy. And since the split up of my parents, he’s been with brad and tried very hard to teach both him and me how important it is to show people how much you love them, be it family, friends, or a relationship. He knows his father loved him, and he loved his father really dearly, but he even cries some in front of me when he talks about how neither of them ever said it. And now that he is able to show everyone how much he really cares, how he always makes sure to try to teach me or brad something important about life, even if it’s only a sentence or two, or tell us he cares about us, or that he’s still got some spirit to him, it’s almost too late. Because he’s not going to live much longer.

The people who I really loved very dearly, are not going to be with me much longer. Yes, I know I’ve got what’s left now of my family and friends, still it hurts. I know a lot of people have lost their family too. But I know that what I have with some of my family is special, because it’s not something any of my friends have. And all of them can say “Your family is really awesome” because every time I’m with them, my friends tell me that again and again. (And by extension, my family sort of adopts a lot of my friends, and vice versa).

I don’t really know who to connect to. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about losing parents, at least not anymore. I didn’t have a father figure growing up other than my grandpa (who I called dad until after, mom married Dennis, and I still slip at times). And my mother figure was my grandmother mostly, since mom worked.

I’ve got a few gaping holes left in my heart right now. Some of them, I don’t think will ever heal. People always say, time will heal you, and you can move on. But I don’t believe that. At least the younger ones do. The older people I talk to, twice my age or more, they tell me that time doesn’t heal everything, and often some things never heal completely.

I suppose you can ask anyone who lost a close family member. That pain almost never goes away. Or someone who loses a spouse: that’s often devastating to someone, and they don’t recover completely, the more they loved them, the less they heal.

I even got that from my mother the other day… And you know? She’s never really loved anyone too much… Not outside of us kids… And even she tells me that.

At the same time, I know that the only reason my dad didn’t shoot himself, was because of me and brad. He told me that directly right after I suffered a loss. He’d already lost his marriage to my mom, the only woman he ever really loved, and had found out he was dying. But he told me he was holding out for me and brad, because he wanted to see us grow up before he passes.

That really meant a lot to me.. Ah hell, I can’t even see what I’m typing anymore, I’m crying too hard. Thank god I know how to type. Anyhow, I wish I could be like my dad. He’s able to put aside his own suffering because he loves other people more… He’s stronger than anyone else I know. He lost his future he wanted too, he’s lost almost everything he worked for and all he’s got left is me and Bradley.

I’m not that strong. And I strive to be. I don’t know how he gets through his pain, both emotional and physical and both as real as the other. Maybe because he already has a family with us two? Maybe because he’s already dying?

I just don’t know.

Both of these people I love so incredibly much, both because I look up to them, and both because they’ve touched my life so greatly.

And then there are others. Two women I’d say were my best friends. I don’t know if I’ll ever see either of them again. The one, she has a child now. My nephew. But she is leading her life down dangerous paths, because I don’t know if she knows how to hold herself to doing what’s right. Right in more than one sense. I don’t know where her future leads. But it’s hard for me to be able to rely on her, even if it’s not even her fault. I love her and want the best for her, but I can’t give it to her, and she doesn’t seem to love herself enough to kick out the evils from her past, and tell them to leave her alone so she can make a future. She keeps making the same mistake over and over, each time saying she’ll never do it again, each time I cry for her, and each time she starts doing it again.

I miss her greatly. I wish I could have held her in my arms and hugged her one more time and told her it would be okay and that I loved her.


Okay, this is aggravating. This is the second time I’ve had to retype all of this because my comp crashed. so bear with me if the train of thought shifts some…

Anyhow… I can’t tell her how to live her life. She means a lot to me. She’s like a sister to me really, and we’ll always be super close. But we both wish we could change each other’s lives, but we can’t. And it seems both of us are incapable of doing it on our own either. And we can’t even help each other really… Because of what’s going on.

Uhg.. I was just writing a stream of consiousness, I barely remember what I wrote… *thinks*…

I just wish I knew what to do.

I want to make my own future from here. But the future that I want is impossible. And every time I try to change it to something else, all I see is nothing. I don’t see any happiness. I don’t see a future worth even trying for. My past is either going to go away, or has already left me behind.

You know, I used to think I was strong. Whenever someone I cared about, I was able to be there for them, and be the one for them to cry on and hold them and tell them it would be okay. In person. But here, at a distance, talking to me, either through mail, internet, or phone, my full personality doesn’t come through. Just one part of the whole. Know what I mean? It’s.. Not the same. And because of that, I’ve lost a lot. I feel like I’m a scared little child. One who’s scared of losing what he cares for, and one who’s been left behind. And I really think that’s what I probably am on the inside. A scared lonely little kid, who’s been left behind and doesn’t know where to go. Left by what he was following, and now about to lose what he’s always held close to him.

I’ve been über depressed for a long time now. And it’s getting worse… My rainbow of emotion has dulled into shades of gray. I just wish I knew how to feel wonderful again. I wish I knew what I could do to fill my own heart with joy. I know I’m being selfish. It’s like all I care about is my own happiness. And that’s why I’m so depressed, because I’m not happy with myself, and my own life. I’ve hurt those I care about because I’ve been depressed. What an evil circle that puts you in. And being honest about how I feel seems to make everyone who cares about me want to run away and distance themselves from me. It’s happened more than once now, and to all sorts of various degrees..

I really doubt my one little poem really covers all of this. But I really had to get out at least a little of what’s been on my mind. There’s so much more going on, but I think this is all I should really put out there, and even this is probably pushing it I don’t want to get in trouble, I just want some sort of reply, I don’t like feeling so alone. That’s what I’m scared of the most. Being alone. Just like I am.

There is a lot going on in my mind right now. And I’m making hard decisions. I’m fairly sure the choices I’m making are wrong, or at least will be. But I don’t know if I’m strong enough for the other choices. Not anymore… And I can just try to ignore everything that I’m depressed about. It’s the only way not to hurt anyone else. And if I’d done that from the start, I’d probably still have everything I cared about, and no one would even know I’m upset. I probably would have been better off. But once the ball started rolling, things changed, and I don’t think I can just keep it in and ignore it anymore. I’ve finally started to confide in my mother and my family little by little. I wanted to be the strong one for them, but now the surface crumbles away has started to reveal what I’ve been trying to hide.

I can try to put on a strong front and ignore it. But when I sit down to rest, or when I’m alone (99% of the time now, even at work) it gets to me. Especially when I’m in my room by myself. I’m not even here for me. But I’m not here for anyone else either anymore. I’m just… Here. For now. And I’ve got nothing else to look forward to, and no where else to go. How do I fix myself? Be happy again. Fill my own heart with happiness. I never was able to do it on my own. And now due to my life events, I have to learn how to. But I don’t know how. Because my problems aren’t ever going to go away. They’re more a statement of reality. And how do you fight the cold reality of life and other people? You can’t… So I have to figure out what I can do to make myself happy… I’ve never done that before. I wish I knew how to even start…





Rehh…. Sorry for how long this is.. It’s like a super-rant..

I guess that’s what I get for not saying to anyone for such a long time. I just kind of overflow onto something And I’m only going to get 4 hours of sleep now.. Joys of having too active of a mind at bed time
Truth/Serum

Cheep-cheep
Continued Harassment.








Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 08-09-07 07:17 PM, in I Nedd Some Fast Help Link
Good thing for sore throat, from old chinaman (Aka, my father )

Drink hot/warm tea (Jasmine is good, but use whatever your favorite kind is. Black and oolong are good too), however you like it. But to sweeten, use the most natural honey you can find, and put a little bit of lemon juice into it. Enough juice so that it's got some in it, but not too much to where the tea tastes bad. (Hotter the tea, the more you can add without the bad taste, and add more honey too)

Hope that helps you At least it helps with the pain, and the honey helps make it get better a bit sooner.


At least, there you have the "old herbal" method I use
Truth/Serum

Cheep-cheep
Continued Harassment.








Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 08-19-07 05:11 PM, in You Link
Okay, lesse. I'll just go in order.


How have you changed in the last 3 years? Ohh boy..
I'm older. A bit wiser (through experiences). Learned to be more open with people, at the same time be a lot less worried about things, then to be a hell of a lot more worried about things. Been beat down, helped back up, beat down again, kicked while I was down, and dragged myself back up. (Friggin Navy life ) I'm a lot more... Introverted now though. I've noticed that. But I meet people a hell of a lot easier now and make friends easier too. So go figure eh? I'm a walking ball of giant asian contradictions.

What have you accomplished since then?
Made a few of my largest dreams come true. Graduated highschool, Joined the Navy, completed the hardest training program that the military has to offer (Mentally/willpower wise, not really physically). Watched most of the things I care about fly away or people who I care about die or start to die. Surviving that so far I'd say is an accomplishment, though with a lot of help from my friends. And made two new best friends who've saved my ass a few times.

How has the board affected you?
Directly, it hasn't. But through some of the people I've met on here, my life has been changed forever. (As per above mostly) Plus it's fun to read all the cool things and all every now and then.

Pretty much anything else you care to talk about, shoot.
Eh... Kinda already did that
Truth/Serum

Cheep-cheep
Continued Harassment.








Since: 03-07-05
From: In pieces

Since last post: 6081 days
Last activity: 6052 days
Posted on 09-08-07 10:13 PM, in Left behind. Again Link
Feel free to ask me any questions you want about navy life okay?

I've been in for over 2 years now, and I've been around on this board since near it's very beginning (I still call it MoD)

But if you (or he for that matter) Have any questions at all about either bootcamp, navy life, etc, just ask me, and I can give you the straight shot on all of it.

What rate is he going in for? Or is he undesignated or what? It sounds like he's in an odd program. Most ships only go on massive deployments at most every other year. And you get 30 days of leave time a year anyhow. I'm sure it's not going to be that bad. You'll get to see him more often than you think. Unless something odd is going on with him and his particular job he's going in for.

Anyhow, I'll try to help the best I can. But I'm only going to be around for a week or three more, before I'm gone. But feel free to ask away. I'm here to help.

And he's not leaving you behind. I bet you he's doing this with both of your futures in mind. I know that's why I joined at first. And having you at home will make it much easier for him to get through everything, that's for sure. You're going to be the most valuable thing in his entire world while he goes through boot camp, thinking about you will get him through anything. I'm sure of that.

So don't feel too blue, okay? It won't be that bad. Not for you anyhow.


(Last edited by Truth/Serum on 09-09-07 01:13 AM)
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