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| Xeogaming Forums - General Chat - Stupid story thread |
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kyle s kenedy Armorknight          Since: 01-14-06 From: petaluma california Since last post: 6435 days Last activity: 6275 days |
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| as i sat here at my local library i thought to myself why not make a stupid story thread. I will start
well one day i was borad this is usually a very bad thing becuase i own many weapons so i said to spartan "hey lets go throw knives" he said "ok" now i can fit three knives of any size into a playing card but spartan had never throwen a knife in his entire life he didnt know the range rules so i gave him two sog throwing knives (they came in a set of three) he missed both times of course but he forgot i still had my knife so he went to get his i threw my knife two inches away from his head and it stuck about two good inches in yeah that was a really stupid thing to do but it proved my point as on an archery range wait until everyone is done before you pick up your arrows. yeah ive got more but give me stupid storys and then ill go again.(o oops forgot that nobody on this borad cares oh well) |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 664 days Last activity: 472 days |
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Perhaps this should be in Crazy? No matter. Here's my stupid story: Almost three years ago, Zabuza, Zoso, and I were eating dinner at Bubba Gump's and it just so happened it was April 20th. Every couple minutes, it was announced it was someone's birthday and not just that, that it was their 21st birthday. It got to the point that every table had a birthday to announce and the restaurant would erupt with more obnoxious birthday singing and chanting from the serving staff. After about the 15th go around and when a 50-something year-old guy stood on a chair claiming it was his 21st birthday too, I shouted (as loudly as I could), "YOU ALL SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH HITLER!!" There were no more birthday announcements the rest of the evening. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 130 days Last activity: 130 days |
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| I love that story Rogue.
And Kyle, the last comment you made about no one caring... if you feel that way then why did you post? That wasn't a nice thing to say, feel ashamed. Now, for my stupid story: In my D&D group there is a player that has to be the dumbest living human. One of those "I like evil cuz it's cool!" guys. He decided that he was going to play a Silver Dragon. Bit of info for the non-gamers: 1) He was using the level progression for Dragons that D&D put out in their magazine, meaning that he cannot take levels in any normal class or he cannot take any more levels in Dragon. 2) Dragons are very powerful, so even though he was a level 15 character (very powerful), he was a baby and therefore, as far as abilities go, had less than half what an adult would have. 3) Silver Dragons are Lawful Good creatures... think Paladins/Knights in terms of honor and such. 4) Dragons are magical creatures, they are natural sorcerers later. Also, they have scales and claws and fangs... lots of natural attacks. Oh, and they can shape-change into humanoid form. 5) There is a template you can take, called Half-Dragon. It gives you a bunch of the Dragon's abilities and still lets you take normal class levels... but you count as 3 levels higher because you are so powerful naturally. We spent nearly two hours getting it through his head that if he took the Dragon as a class that he could not take levels in Fighter. He didn't want to play a half dragon because it was not a dragon. He decided that his Silver Dragon would be Chaotic Neutral ("cuz chaos is sick, man") with evil tendencies (cuz evil is also "sick"); and wear full-plate armor over nobles clothing, the clothes were because he was so charismatic. Then he decided he would look like a child. Oh, and did I mention that the rest of the party (with the exception of the barbarian) were of Good alignment? Two were Lawful Good, two Chaotic Good, and one Neutral Good... the barbarian was Chaotic Neutral. Gameplay consisted of him trying to bang prostitutes or get high; and in combat he kept trying to do things he couldn't and whined when other players got magic items they needed because he wanted them for his horde. Thus I get to the main part of this story... how he got himself killed. We had allied with this one guy, who we knew out of game was evil... and sorta figured as much in game. Therefore we wanted to kill him, but since our character's couldn't prove it they could not justify it (the guy rolled really high Bluff checks). We had found this temple to the God of Slaughter, and had to fight a demon... after the fight we were trying again to get the evil guy to slip up and revel his true nature. So, our idiot dragon (after declaring that he prays at the shrine of this Chaotic Evil god) gets the brilliant idea of punching the barbarian. The barbarian had taken levels in a prestige class called Frenzied Berserker; and the thing about members of that class is that if they take damage they have to make a Will save or fly into a blind frenzy in which they kill everything around them, starting with enemies and once that is done any other living thing around them, then inanimate objects... until they can succeed at the save to snap themselves out of it. Now, I'm sure it's pretty obvious that if you are the one that deals the damage to set off the frenzy ability, you are the primary enemy to him. Our dumb dragon did not understand this. The barbarian rolled a critical hit and killed him with one swing of his axe, then cleaved through and killed the evil guy. He would have killed us all, but he couldn't hit the Monk since his Armor Class was insanely high, so the monk just stood in front of him until he made his Will save. The idiot whined about dying... then made a Lawful Good Human Paladin. He plays him like a zealot, and manages to get that wrong. Worships the Sun God; and tried to go all dark and shadowy. I will just stop now, the vein by my eye is twitching again. |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt  Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4587 days Last activity: 4581 days |
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| Well its 5 in the morning and I cant fucking sleep
The end ____________ NEW STORY! Ok, Vista Way, my old apartment, 4 am, me and my roomates...where are we? We are outside making idiots out of ourselves. Oh yeah, im walking outside acting suspicious with a damn Coat on, Kevin, my loud-mouth roomate being Flamboyant, and Kellin...the random Black guy joins our party. We run around Vista way, knocking on Doors, pushing cars to make car alarms go off, and I even jumped into a pool butt Naked. Dont ask me why ANYWAYS, the entire time we do this, im making my friends laugh by mimicking THis song while sneaking around as loud as I could. By the time I got to "Dive into the bushes", I accidently dove into a thorn bush and screamed, jumped out, and there were cuts all over me. The next day, I was questioned, but wasnt cought. |
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Xeios You WANKER! Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 5104 days Last activity: 1414 days |
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| AH, good story.
Fourth of July, 2006. Me and a couple of friends decided to celebrate the fourth of july with a little bit of improv. And we bought a gallon of Kerosene. After a cookout we went back into the woods near his house, and we began making things that involved fire. We poured kerosene on some wooden boards lit the boards, and threw them into the creek, which in the darkness made them look like spinning disks of fire. We filled several glass bottles, covered a torn t-shirt in the kerosene, lit the shirt, and threw it at a busted down car. Boom Explosivo de Firos. We essentially made molotov cocktails. Now, my friend got the brilliant idea to pour kerosene on some fire we had, and the kerosene canister, which was 3/4 full still, became engulfed in flames, which we threw into the creek because my friend was terrified. Anyway, long story short, fire, everywhere. The water was on fire, the grass was on fire, the tree next to us was on fire. |
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kyle s kenedy Armorknight Since: 01-14-06 From: petaluma california Since last post: 6435 days Last activity: 6275 days |
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| Elara you guys dont usually listen to anybody until they get like 200 posts at lest some do (or maybe im just being emo again) in anycase another story
one day me and spartan were borad. so we wentin my back yard he grabed a jello and just ate it all. Then he sayed "hey do you have gasoline." of course i did have gas for my lawn mower. so we took the jello container. then we lit it on fire. oww ahhh i wasnt impressed. then i went to put it out with my hose. now the problem with this is i knocked over the jello container and the flaming gas spilled out to where spartan was staniding. now the gas was traveling on top of the water on fire so i screamed out "liquid fire" . then it cought my grass on fire and caought my fence on fire i put it out eventually. then spartan bailed and i had to build the entire fence before my mom got home. that part really sucked. |
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Byte Dry Bones Back  Since: 07-30-05 From: Macomb Since last post: 4645 days Last activity: 3616 days |
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| One day me and my friend always sprayed WD-40 on woodchips and on the ground and lit it on fire, we were experts at it. But one day when the can was running empty, so while walking out my friend the can and broke the top. When we finally lit the ground on fire I threw the can into the fire, but it had a broke top so the rest of the fluid poured everywhere and it was inside my garage which was full of wires, extension cords, and a Ford model A. Luckily nothing really bad happened. | |||
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 130 days Last activity: 130 days |
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| Actually that isn't remotely true from what I have seen, kyle. I think it's just the emo. | |||
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4587 days Last activity: 4581 days |
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Originally posted by kyle s kenedy Definitely the Emo, you are assuming a little too much about the board members here dude...lighten up and post a little...if people wouldn't care, I wouldn't have typed this out...now seriously quit saying we don't care. |
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Xeios You WANKER! Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 5104 days Last activity: 1414 days |
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| Pfft, I don't know what you guys are talking about, but I ignore everyone. Unless they pester me...*glares at FX* Not pointing any fingers or anything...*glares some more at FX*
*whistles.* |
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GuardianOni Shaman  Since: 09-07-04 From: The dark path Since last post: 5871 days Last activity: 5330 days |
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I have too many stupid tales, or tales of stupidy to recount, so instead i shall do the sequel to this one.
Originally posted by Elara Directly after getting his character ready to play. He rides into the town on the back of a mighty griffon, on a mission set by the church he works for to look for me. As he rides into town, in the air, one of the secret police calls to him "Halt, you are breaking the law." ***Brief intermission explaining Paladins in D&D.*** They are shinning symbols of good and order. As lawful as they come. If it is the law of the land, they obey. Or else they break their code and loose their paladin ship. ***Back to the story.*** He then draws his sword in his right hand, and announces that he will kill this (true it is a devil http://www.wizards.com/leaving.asp?url=/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG52.jpg&origin=dnd_ag_20030712a the one on the right that looks like an angel with red wings.) person that challenged him. Thus breaking the law... again. We are telling him that this is not only wrong, but putting his new character in danger of death again. Because we discovered that the devils that up hold the law travel in packs, and are rather powerful. He ignores us. Until, annoyed of this the Barbarian from before sees the aerial yelling match, and flies up to see if a fight is brewing. Once at the paladin�s side he introduces himself. And as the paladin introduces himself he tells of his mission, to find me. The barbarian tells him that we are of the same company, and leads him to me. The DM is happy, he didn't have to kill the new character, and throw out a plot hook for me. The Paladin and I take off on and errand, investigating a weird light in the sky over an inner sea. We get there, and are transported into another plane of existence. In front of us is a staircase, stretching into the clouds. Think stairway to heaven. And I feel a compulsion to climb up it. The Paladin, draws his sword in his right hand and goes up it too, wary and wanting to protect me. Ignoring the fact I'm telling him it's safe, and there is nothing to be afraid of. We climb, and climb, and climb. After a long while we come to a door. He moves to open it. Knowing it's my quest I say "Look at that!" He looks around, and I trip him and step through the door ahead of him. The other side is endless white. (Think the load screen from the Matrix) And in front of us is a beholder. http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/mm_gallery/Beholder.jpg The Paladin of course wants to charge it, but I point out that he is still on the stairs, on his face. As he picks himself up the beholder says, "I've been waiting for you. Come along Pelor (The god of me and the paladin) must not be kept waiting, and turns and floats away. I of course fallow, the paladin scrambles to his feet, and fallows copiously. To keep him busy I give him the holy text of a cult that we are trying to destroy. It takes a week of straight reading to finish. We walk long enough so that he finishes. But distracted by the scrolls he forgot about the beholder. Finally I ask, "When are we going to get there?" The beholder says. "We are here." And A bright light fills our eyes. I see a held with the mane of a lion on a pedestal, and a door. And the Paladin, having drawing his sword again at the light, feels Pelor in he palm of his hand. As I put on the helm, and go through the door he says. "I put Pelor into my head." And puts his right fist into his forehead. If you remember, he was carrying a sword in his right hand. Thus he died again. |
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