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03-28-24 10:39 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Entertainment - Utterly bad movies? | |
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Xeoman

Ball and Chain Trooper
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Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 18 days
Last activity: 17 hours
Posted on 05-29-07 03:02 AM Link | Quote
So I was really bored and started browsing the tv-links site, and decided to check out "Commando" from 1985, with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I got about half way through it until I felt like I was physically forced to close the window. The music, was some of the worst I've ever heard. There didn't seem to be a plot of any kind whatsoever. And the acting was extremely embarassing to watch.

Seriously, I will go so far to say that it makes just about any Steven Segal movie (even his recent B-Rated ones) seem like legendary epic mindblowing masterpieces.

Commando. Check it out if you want to see something so bad it hurts.

So, this isn't really a "What movies do you think are bad" topic, but more of a "What movies are like shoving diahhrea in your face?" discussion. Craptastic movies that probably shouldn't even exist.
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 3591 days
Last activity: 3487 days
Posted on 05-29-07 03:16 AM Link | Quote
The Whole Ten Yards

I swear, Bruce Willis' only bad movie. Everything I've seen him in has been pure win. I only hope that this movie was only because he was contractually bound from the first one. For me, it has set the bar for bad movies. Whenever me or my dad comment that a movie was bad, we respond with "Not as bad as The Whole Ten Yards."

The movie is seriously humiliating for Bruce.

EDIT: Oh, and Be Cool. I don't remember why it was bad, I just remember that I walked out half way. I never walk out of movies. Except Royal Tennenbaums, which I later watched and enjoyed.


(Last edited by Morrolan on 05-29-07 06:17 AM)
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 5648 days
Last activity: 4913 days
Posted on 05-29-07 09:45 AM Link | Quote
Okay I don't know if anyone has even ever ehard of this, but it got a lot of hype with the academy. "In the Bedroom."

It's about this guy whose son gets killed by this other guy and his wife can't handle it. It was really boring. It's one of those movies that everyone says, "I heard it was good." It turn out that it really sucked.

Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 395 days
Last activity: 204 days
Posted on 05-29-07 04:14 PM Link | Quote
The sad fact is that I purposely collect terrible movies.

Anyway, in my collection, the worst I have is probably Cocaine Fiends (also called "The Pace That Kills").



It's a 1930s exploitation/grindhouse film about the horrors of cocaine abuse that more expresses the terrors of bad film editing. It's so rigidly edited that scenes just spill into the next, lines are cut mid-sentence, and developments are made in the story that aren't shown for the audience until long after they've happened, thus you're overly confused about everything that's happened up until that point.

Not to mention it has terrible acting, direction, writing, and is the remake of a film made not long before it.


I'll have to come back with more out of my collection when I have the time.
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 5648 days
Last activity: 4913 days
Posted on 05-30-07 02:50 AM Link | Quote
Rogue is utterly AWESOME.

Another utterly bad movie and some people disagree with me, but Starship Troopers.

I'm sorry, but it was not good.
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 3591 days
Last activity: 3487 days
Posted on 05-30-07 06:06 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Makura
Rogue is utterly AWESOME.

Another utterly bad movie and some people disagree with me, but Starship Troopers.

I'm sorry, but it was not good.


It's like Evil Dead. So awesomely bad that it's good.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 169 days
Last activity: 152 days
Posted on 05-31-07 01:17 PM Link | Quote
Rocky Bolboa?

*ducks.*

Seriously, I absolutely hated it. Bad plot, writing, story, ect. I would run if I was ever forced to see it again.

Of course, this is coming from the guy that liked Aeon Flux.
Ryan

Ptooie
Is back!









Since: 10-01-04
From: Stafford, UK

Since last post: 4405 days
Last activity: 4365 days
Posted on 06-01-07 06:17 AM Link | Quote
Ocean's Twelve... Gawd that annoyed the hell out of me. I think the only problem was it expected you to have seen Ocean's Eleven to be able to enjoy it... I wonder if the next sequel, Ocean's Thirteen is gonna be the same...
Xeoman

Ball and Chain Trooper
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 18 days
Last activity: 17 hours
Posted on 06-01-07 01:16 PM Link | Quote
Jurassic Park III.

Watched a little bit of it and eventually just turned it off. I absolutely despise that movie, and it doesn't help that Jurassic Park is one of my all time favorite movies. It was terrible and one of the biggest letdowns ever.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus

Vile
High Xeodent of Xeomerica.








Since: 10-29-04
From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way

Since last post: 169 days
Last activity: 152 days
Posted on 06-01-07 03:33 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by MasterSylar
Jurassic Park III.


MasterSylar, my name is Vulkar, you insulted my great movie. PREPARE TO DIE!

I actually really liked it...
天国JOE

���A�ǂ��ɂȂ�̂���낤�H








Since: 09-02-04
From: Destroy Tower

Since last post: 3786 days
Last activity: 3151 days
Posted on 06-01-07 04:58 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Vulkar
MasterSylar, my name is Vulkar, you insulted my great movie. PREPARE TO DIE!
That was a good movie.

I dunno, I can't think of one right now. Oh wait, yes I can.

Baby Geniuses. I don't care if it was intended for kids, god dammit.
Xeoman

Ball and Chain Trooper
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 18 days
Last activity: 17 hours
Posted on 06-01-07 05:25 PM Link | Quote
Compared to the first and Lost World!!! It was just ... UGH!

Anyone actually agree with me? I mean I absolutely HATED the plot.

"I'm never going back.
"Hey we want to go on a trip, here's a bunch of money".
"Oh by the way we lied we need to find our son on here, glad you came"

*stupid new dinosaurs come in*

"Oh lets give them their baby back"
"Oh my god we're going to die! Oh don't worry here comes the Army".


Seriously I want to go Super Sayijin 500000 just thinking about it.


Originally posted by The Politician
Baby Geniuses. I don't care if it was intended for kids, god dammit.

Oh my god yes, those were terrible.


(Last edited by MasterSylar on 06-01-07 08:26 PM)
天国JOE

���A�ǂ��ɂȂ�̂���낤�H








Since: 09-02-04
From: Destroy Tower

Since last post: 3786 days
Last activity: 3151 days
Posted on 06-01-07 05:31 PM Link | Quote
Lost World had silly moments too, I mean, when they are hiding in a cave while a T-Rex tries to bite at them throguh the cave entrance, a guy gets a small lizard or snake on him. Then he shrieks, and runs into the dinosaurs mouth. He'd rather run into a dinosaur ready to chomp him then be touched by a much smaller reptile, apparently.

That scene and "clever girl...*death*" are the shining points in that movie for me.
Xeoman

Ball and Chain Trooper
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 18 days
Last activity: 17 hours
Posted on 06-01-07 05:34 PM Link | Quote
Well ... it had Jeff Goldblum.

But yeah, it had its odd moments and I've never really liked the T-Rex in the city scenes, but its a worthy entry to the series in my opinion. III easily isn't.

But that's me.
Cairoi
This isn't about you and your loud mouth,
This is about me and my fucking beard.








Since: 08-29-04
From: PA

Since last post: 4610 days
Last activity: 4233 days
Posted on 06-01-07 09:41 PM Link | Quote
Black Christmas.

Curse of the Lotus Flower.
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 5648 days
Last activity: 4913 days
Posted on 06-01-07 09:57 PM Link | Quote
Scary Movie 3 Hated it.
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 3591 days
Last activity: 3487 days
Posted on 06-01-07 10:04 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by The Politician

Baby Geniuses. I don't care if it was intended for kids, god dammit.


I actually enjoyed that, mostly because Christopher Lloyd was in it. Also, I may have been a kid... when did that come out?

I did, however, avoid the second one like the plague.
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 395 days
Last activity: 204 days
Posted on 06-01-07 10:11 PM Link | Quote
I thank you for the comment, Makura.

I noticed several films that are bad, but not the absolute worst of the worst have been listed. So are we going for movies we just didn't like or ones that are just completely unsalvageable?

Even something truly bad like the original 1966 Batman movie can be worth the watching for the bit with the exploding shark being fought off with shark repellent Batspray scene.

Either way, here's another to throw on the pile from my collection:

Sky Pirates



Does the poster not resemble that of the Indiana Jones movies? A very similar font and pose? Same time period, even?

That's exactly it. It's a really shitty movie that tries to mirror Indy in every way it can while still trying to seem original.

The film's score is even a blatant rip-off of the well-known and beloved Indy theme song.

If you ever happen to catch it somewhere (I got my copy at a rental store bargain bin for $1), it's worth watching just to point out what else was ripped from everyone's favorite archaeologist's movies.


Now, realizing that I'm not picking any current mainstream movies that you might be able to compare of have possibly seen, I'll leave with this statement:

Titanic should not have been made.
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 3591 days
Last activity: 3487 days
Posted on 06-01-07 10:38 PM Link | Quote
The end was pretty good, where everyone died.

...

Especially Leonardo DiCaprio.
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 395 days
Last activity: 204 days
Posted on 06-02-07 02:09 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Morrolan
The end was pretty good, where everyone died.

...

Especially Leonardo DiCaprio.

Funny thing about that. When I saw it in the theater, I saw it with my friend and some of her friends who'd been in the local papers for seeing it 23 times each (yeah, I know. What. The. Fuck?!)

So when Leo big scene comes up at the end, I throw my head back and laugh. The whole row of girls that I was with, who all happened to be sobbing their asses off, all turn and curse me out.

Twenty-three times and they're still weeping over the ending? Erm?
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