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| Xeogaming Forums - Hyperbolic Time Chamber - Sex edumacation (NSFW because you may die) |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt          Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4569 days Last activity: 4563 days |
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| Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining this to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did.
The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother. "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he started hugging and kissing her I figured 'Sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. this is when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because 'Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick -- a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it she got really scared -- her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she'd ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down by the lake by our house! Anyway, Sis was brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet. |
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The Accidental Protege Iggy Koopa I\"m your accidental protege... The gift, the blood, the thrownaway...\" Since: 03-08-05 From: Marching on the city of Southern Cross Since last post: 1178 days Last activity: 1178 days |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4569 days Last activity: 4563 days |
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| Before anyone asks, no, I did not make it.
I found it on a website that I thought was funny. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 646 days Last activity: 455 days |
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| Good grief, I remember getting this joke as a forward all throughout middle school.
Why is it always Little Johnny? |
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Kyoku kun Phan Phan Where in the world in Aurora the Explora? Currently California!  Since: 06-19-06 From: Northern California Since last post: 4782 days Last activity: 4409 days |
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| Yeah, I have seen many different variations of this.
This is maybe my.. fourth time seeing it. |
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 112 days Last activity: 112 days |
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| One day in school Little Johny's kindgarten teacher taught the alphabet.
"Alright children," the teacher said, "I want to you to name each letter of the alphabet when I call on you. The first letter is A." Little Johny raised his hand and waved it about. Now the teacher knew what Little Johnny was thinking so she called on Susie instead. "A is for apple." "Good," the teacher said. "Now B." "Bear" "Cat." "Dog." This continued on all the way to R. Littl Johnny was just flailing his arm about wanting to be called. The teacher thought that it would be alright if Little Johnny said something for R so she called on him this time. "R is for Rat," Little Johnny said with a lot of pride. "Good Johnny, now for-" "A BIG FUCKING RAT WITH A DICK THIS BIG!" It works better when you use your hands to talk with it. =P I've got a ton of them because we all were saying them during my drill. |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4569 days Last activity: 4563 days |
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| I dont get it. . .
Edit- You may have to show me one day or whatever, cause im trying hard to picture it (Last edited by Nagis on 06-24-07 11:55 PM) |
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Fennicy Fox of all Foxes Since: 06-13-07 From: Washington Since last post: 6114 days Last activity: 6119 days |
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| Lol that's hilarious. I think I've heard something like this before only it wasn't on the internet. I think it was that my friends were joking around about this kinda thing a long time ago. My friends and I were quite hentai once in a while lol.
Also, I don't get that alphabet one either. ^^jj (Last edited by Fennicy on 06-27-07 12:14 AM) |
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FX Zombie Marco Since: 03-24-06 Since last post: 3842 days Last activity: 3738 days |
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| I get it, it's just not funny... |
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