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03-29-24 09:50 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Random IM Conversation Thread | |
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FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 3592 days
Last activity: 3488 days
Posted on 09-04-08 01:27 AM Link | Quote
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
who would win in a fight
James Bond
or Jason Bourne?
Mark Harris
weapons or no weapons?
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
dunno...
didn't consider that
Mark Harris
No weapons, Bourne.
Weapons, really a tossup. Jason is a pretty good gunman, but fucking hell, Bond can't be hit.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
but see, even with no weapons
Bourne makes weapons
Mark Harris
The only time Bond ever gets hit is in video games
and it usually takes 30 bullets.
Jason Bourne ingame took 3
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
I think it goes to J.B.
but also
Bond may never get shot
but Bourne can take a bullet like nobody's business
Mark Harris
I think that if Bond were ever to take a bullet=
he'd liek
absorb it into energy=
and fier a lazer.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
heh
but Bourne drives an indestructible Mini Cooper
Mark Harris
but Bond drives an indestructable whatever the newest European Car.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
it's not indesctuctible
it's just win
Mark Harris
it's got everything the Mach 5 has and more
more = missles.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
missiles are useless against an indestructible car
Mark Harris
flip it over.
bond on the other hand... about to be flipped over?
jaa jaa jaa jaa jaaaa
*land, scree VROOM*
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
I think that's going to have to be a tie
Hand to hand= Bourne
Pistols at dawn= Bond
Driving= Tie
Mark Harris
Stealth?
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
Sam Fisher
Mark Harris
like... Pistols, Hide and Seek?
anyway, Jack Bauer, depressingly, beats them all.
ISN'T THAT DEPRESSING!?
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
how does he do that?
Mark Harris
Jack Bauer from 24 is fucking ridiculous.
LIke, season 1, he's just a general badass.
Season 2, it all goes BATSHIT INSANE!
Fucking Hell
he beats up guys WHILE HAVING A HEART ATTACK!
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
I give the win to Tony Stark
Mark Harris
no dude. Jack Bauer is the embodiment of unfair overpowered cheapness
like, the win used to Go to Batman, because given enough planning and thought, he could beat anything
then it went to Macguyver, because MacGuyver was batman without planning
give him 3 objects and 20 seconds, and he can assemble anything
No Prep > Prep
then came Jack Bauer
Jack Bauer doesn't CARE about your prep
they make Stadiums full of people, he goes in and rapes their shit.
He operates on some sort of chaos node that doesn't give a shit about your Prep
then it turned out that Jack Bauer and MacGuyver were the same actor
and suddenly we have MacBauer
the end
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
THE GUY FROM DEATH NOTE
Mark Harris
the Tier list goes MacBauer, Jack Bauer, Macguyver, God, Jesus, Batman, Kira, James Bond, the Kool Aid Man, Spinach Pop-Eye, Goku, Pre Crisis Superman, Jason Bourne, 30 Minute Demo Raiden, Gaston, 3rd Strike Sagat, Flandre Scarlet, Cable, Sentinel, Professor X, Zerg Rush, Broly, and Fox/Falco.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
Gaston from Beauty and the Beast?
Mark Harris
Yup.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
why?
Mark Harris
Oh right, Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon.
BECAUSE EVERY LAST INCH OF HIM'S COVERED WITH HAIR
No one brawls like Gaston, no one crawls like Gaston, no one falcon punches a man in the balls like Gast
on
there is no man in Town quite as manly
as you can see he's got biceps to spare
He could rape a bitch and change her name to Stanley
and then get his shit and get the hell right out of there
No one keeps order like Gaston
jumps the Border like Gaston
one does not simply walk into Mordor like Gaston
you can apply his name to literally EEEEVRYTHIIIIING
I want a guy like Gastooooon.
that... was mostly ad libbed.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
what about Brock Samson?
Mark Harris
Eh.... I dunno. He lacks Pussy Defense.
Actually, we should take Goku off the list too.
and Spinach Pop-Eye.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
pussy defence?
Mark Harris
Yeah.
Like
wait
Brock Sampson DOES have pussy defense
I forgot that the bitch I remembered kicking his ass was quite simply fabulously strong.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
what exactly is pussy defence?
Mark Harris
If a Girl can kick your ass because she's a girl=
then you don't have pussy defense.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
but not because she's awesome
just because she's a girl?
Mark Harris
right
so like
Goku lacks pussy defense
Chi Chi kicks his ass and leaves him bruised SOMEHOW
Dante, however, Has pussy defense.
Sure he won't hit them, but he'll make a fool out of them, and won't let them hit him.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
so Austin Powers doesn't have pussy defence
Mark Harris
he has... pussy resistance.
but no, no pussy defense.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
you know who we left out?
Ron Perlman
Mark Harris
Oh yeaaah.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
and everyone he's ever played
Mark Harris
Also, I just realized that Kool Aid Man is off the list
Batman has Tang on his utility belt. Basically you have to be able to fight batman to a standstill.
So like...
if you have any real weaknesses, you're off the list.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
Altair?
Mark Harris
...hmmm
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
Vader?
Mark Harris
I dunno, it's pretty easy to get your ass raped in that game.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
not if you're any good
I only roll with hidden blade counter kills now
fucking pwns
Mark Harris
I mean like... the moment you're surrounded by mounted knights, you'd better fucking run. 
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
hell no
stand and fight
grab their head between your hands
Mark Harris
I guess I just sucked at it.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
then release the blade
Mark Harris
anywho
oh right
if you've never been in a live action movie
then you're also gonna have some issues with the Tier List.
 Judge Doom's Dip.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
Judge Dredd?
Mark Harris
Naw.
Naw... he's just not really all that amazing.
Here's a thought...
fucking Nico
+ Spartan Armor.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
Nico?
Mark Harris
Nico's the GTA4 protagonist.
takes 50 bullets to the HEAD, and can shoot while driving
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
oh, yeah
Mark Harris
now, imagine master chief, with natural high health, and firing while driving vehicals! 
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
what about Baldur?
Mark Harris
Oh.... hmmmm
Yeah.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
with emphasis on the shitty anglicized spelling
Mark Harris
Yeah, definitelly.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
really my biggest problem with that game...
Mark Harris
listening to old people talk philosophy?
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
no...?
Mark Harris
:3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6fvu-FRiGU
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
John McLane?
Mark Harris
actually...
I think Nico would lose to batman.
Batman would EMP Nico's Armor...
and then just beat the shit out of him.
10:24 PM
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
this conversation needs a punchline...
Mark Harris
well THAT'S MY MOMMA
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
Cut! Print!
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 3592 days
Last activity: 3488 days
Posted on 10-09-08 03:28 AM Link | Quote
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
Esaw Wood sawed wood. Esaw Wood would saw wood. All the wood Esaw Wood saw Esaw Wood would saw. In other words, all the wood Esaw saw to saw which Wood would saw wood. But on eday Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood, and thus the wood Wood sawed was not the wood Wood would saw if Wood's wood-saw would saw wood. Now, Wood would saw wood with a wood-saw that would saw wood, so Esaw sought a saw that would saw wood. One day Esaw saw a saw saw wood as no other wood-saw Wood saw would saw wood. In fact, of all the wood-saws Wood saw saw wood would saw wood, and I never saw a wood-saw that would saw as the wood-saw Wood saw would saw until I saw Esaw saw wood with the wood-saw Wood saw wood. Now Wood saws wood with the wood saw Wood saw saw wood.
Teundusia
I got about three sentences in before getting confused.
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
wuss
no more oxygen for you until you get through it
Teundusia
I CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH THIS SHIT AT SEVEN AM
Oh shi- *Suffocates*
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
THEN GO TO A BETTER TIME ZONE
Teundusia
WE'RE THE BEST TIME ZONE BITCH
THE TIME ZONES REVOLVE AROUND MINE
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
you're in Grenwitch?
Greenwitch*
Teundusia
My time zone is.
Considering it's GMT
Noah Diamond-Stolzman
don't you know
Obama's going to move Greenwitch to Wisconsin
Teundusia
NAh
Astrophel
Fear will kill your mind and steal your love as sure as anything;
Fear will rob you blind and make you numb to others suffering









Since: 10-03-04
From: Azul Lux Orbital, Kirin Beta

Since last post: 2242 days
Last activity: 1093 days
Posted on 11-20-08 02:22 PM Link | Quote
(2:20:41 PM) ShadowKnight: Sorry, was getting attacked by bear wolves.
(2:20:44 PM) ShadowKnight: Anyway, what?
(2:20:52 PM) Cheveyo: bear wolves.
(2:20:57 PM) ShadowKnight: Yes, Bear Wolves.
(2:21:01 PM) Cheveyo: let's just paste two of anything together
(2:21:08 PM) Cheveyo: submarine helicopters? why the hell not!
(2:21:21 PM) ShadowKnight: I like the sound of that.
(2:21:27 PM) Cheveyo: *facepalm*

EDIT:

(4:09:34 PM) Edwr204: then again the word "bludgeon" automatcally makes me think of you anyway

EDIT2:

(12:51:16 AM) Cheveyo: I wanted to make an SMW hack that plays completely normally, with some custom blocks probably...
(12:51:33 AM) Cheveyo: and then a completely unannounced automatic stage that still looks entirely normal
(12:51:47 AM) Cheveyo: only after people bitch about the difficulty would I point out that they could've just sat there and let it play itself.
(12:51:59 AM) Mark: hahahaha
(12:52:03 AM) Cheveyo: which, by the way
(12:52:04 AM) Mark: oh one of THOSE automatic stages.
(12:52:12 AM) Cheveyo: is probably the only possible way to be an asshole by making something easier

EDIT3:

Hideaki Ryumi : a monocled assassin.
Hideaki Ryumi : "I say, good chap, I have to kill you now. No hard feelings, eh?"
Sheyna Duskweaver : "What ho! An unguarded deposit of Smokies?! Who am I to refuse a
Sheyna Duskweaver : gift of providence!"
Hideaki Ryumi : hahahaha
Sheyna Duskweaver : "EGAD! Set upon by the Leaf Cats!"


(Last edited by Astrophel on 01-19-09 02:31 PM)
Kynriy

Merchant








Since: 03-02-09
From: Lago Vista, TX

Since last post: 5493 days
Last activity: 5183 days
Posted on 03-02-09 08:55 PM Link | Quote
I got one!!

Me (9:31:49 PM): BOOM!

siggy (9:32:44 PM): *hides in the fridge*

Me (9:32:51 PM): *blinks*
Me (9:32:57 PM): *opens fridge*
Me (9:33:02 PM): This is not...nuclear attack.
Me (9:33:08 PM): I did not approve of boom

siggy (9:33:14 PM): lmao

Me (9:33:23 PM): Budget cuts and such, you know.

siggy (9:33:48 PM): hahahaha okay damn now i have to put the contents back inside

Me (9:33:55 PM): Um
Me (9:34:03 PM): There was nothing in your fridge to begin with...
Me (9:34:07 PM): I eated it.

siggy (9:34:19 PM): lmao betch

Me (9:34:25 PM): BUT IT WAS GOOD
Me (9:34:28 PM): AND POSSIBLY SPICY

siggy (9:34:37 PM): always spicy!

Me (9:34:46 PM): Yesh.
Astrophel
Fear will kill your mind and steal your love as sure as anything;
Fear will rob you blind and make you numb to others suffering









Since: 10-03-04
From: Azul Lux Orbital, Kirin Beta

Since last post: 2242 days
Last activity: 1093 days
Posted on 06-14-09 02:23 AM Link | Quote
(11:43:03 PM) Cheveyo: Warning: incoming hurricane of puns.
(11:43:04 PM) Cheveyo: http://www.reddit.com/r/technology/comments/78war/the_truth_about_phone_chargers/c05zohv
(11:43:55 PM) Mark: You want a hurricane of puns?
(11:44:03 PM) Mark: I've got a HURRICANE of puns based on WIND!
(11:44:22 PM) Cheveyo: That one blows.
(11:46:26 PM) Mark: No, see
(11:46:32 PM) Mark: we're having these elemental bosses
(11:46:38 PM) Mark: and they'll be speaking almost entirely in puns.
(11:46:41 PM) Cheveyo: ah.
(11:46:53 PM) Mark: So if you can gust get through the puns, the fight should be a breeze.
(11:50:12 PM) Cheveyo: ... Dammit!
(11:50:15 PM) Cheveyo: I can't come up with anything.
(11:51:24 PM) Mark: Yeah, it takes a guy full of hot air to come up with puns like this.
(11:51:51 PM) Mark: Also, your life is too much of a high pressure zone, for you to be a comedian.
(11:51:59 PM) Mark: Weather you can or not, doesn't matter.
(11:53:12 PM) Mark: Puff it out, keep on what you're *current*ly doing.
(11:54:27 PM) Mark: It's like I always say... whisk away your worries and you'll have a gale of a time.
(11:54:42 PM) Mark: These are bad and getting increasingly worse.
(11:54:54 PM) Cheveyo: Yes, they are.
Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 4319 days
Last activity: 4313 days
Posted on 10-13-10 11:14 PM Link | Quote
KatamariDemocracy: Oh wait now I remember
KatamariDemocracy: heh
KatamariDemocracy: But yeah the more I read about this the more I want it
KatamariDemocracy: Oh and no fucking surprise here. GT5 was Delayed
Phoenix: Engine problems?
KatamariDemocracy: hahahah
Lord_Alexandor: I think I'm missing something Bitmap said...what game?
KatamariDemocracy: damn


(Last edited by Bitmap on 10-13-10 11:15 PM)
Astrophel
Fear will kill your mind and steal your love as sure as anything;
Fear will rob you blind and make you numb to others suffering









Since: 10-03-04
From: Azul Lux Orbital, Kirin Beta

Since last post: 2242 days
Last activity: 1093 days
Posted on 10-13-10 11:15 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Bitmap
<KatamariDemocracy> Oh wait now I remember
<KatamariDemocracy> heh
<KatamariDemocracy> But yeah the more I read about this the more I want it
<KatamariDemocracy> Oh and no fucking surprise here. GT5 was Delayed
<Phoenix> Engine problems?
<KatamariDemocracy> hahahah
<Lord_Alexandor> I think I'm missing something Bitmap said...what game?
<KatamariDemocracy> <i>damn</i>

Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 396 days
Last activity: 205 days
Posted on 09-29-11 08:37 PM Link | Quote
Mass bumpage.

So yeah, I haven't used IM in years, but I figure you can still have really random, instant message-like conversations on Facebook posts.

Anyway, Stitch and I were posting back and forth and I figured I'd add it here:

Rogue: Uruguay!!
Stitch: Yay! When are we leaving? Is Brandon coming? I wanted this to be one of those epic threads where have punny conversations using countries, but I think I failed. I am Hungary, though.
Rogue: Want some Turkey?
Stitch: Only if I can add some Chile.
Rogue: OK, but we're in a Russia, so you gotta eat fast.
Stitch: Nu-uh, Ukraine eat slow.
Rogue: Norway!
Stitch: Iran from your kitties today.
Rogue: Did you throw Iraq at them?
Stitch: Well, no. They just wanted to France around your yard.
Rogue: Maybe they were licking eachother's Nepals too much?
Stitch: Eww, cats do that? Canada cats do it themselves?
Rogue: Oman, they Sudan-ly did it again.
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