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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Living with a demented old woman |
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Yasu Posting Pig         Since: 10-12-06 Since last post: 4825 days Last activity: 4817 days |
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| I'm sorry but I think that shows who really loved her. | |||
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance  Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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| Yeah.. so, back to the whole life going through a meltdown right now, it's official... my aunts are evil. | |||
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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| I'm sitting in my dining room with Lola right now. She's upset that my uncle isn't coming to get her, as he usually would on a Monday following her spending the weekend here.
I was under the impression that he was coming as well, but when the time that he'd usually be here had come and gone we tried calling him and he didn't answer our calls. It was my mom calling us to say, "Go get her some Filipino food" that finally indicated he wasn't coming at all. Would have been nice if we were informed. This has been the first week since before our trip that she's been sent here. Apparently in the month or so since we had her my cousin went off at her (this is according to her, I might add) and demanded that he have his old room back -- the room, in which, she's been living over there. So, here I am. Brandon's out, on my bike (since his car is out of commission), getting us Church's chicken because that's all she eats when I watch her. She won't eat anything else. And I'm confused. Is she completely living here again? Was she such an inconvenience to my cousin and aunt who spend all day and night at home that they needed to encroach on her space there when they've got plenty of room? Either way, it's come to my understanding that while my parents have previously demanded that I get a job before our trip, this whole having to watch Lola all the time would not allow me to do so. Frankly, I'm thankful I was able to graduate. If my aunts had it their way, I'd probably have had to put my internship on hold and sat here all day, waiting for Lola to die. Fortunately, my employer understood and had me work Tuesdays and Thursdays so I could be available to watch Lola on Fridays. And on the bright side, with her being here, she's not walking through dog shit, with my aunt who smokes like a chimney, and a house that's entirely covered in grease, dust, grime, and clutter. (Last edited by Rogue on 11-27-11 08:29 PM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 135 days Last activity: 135 days |
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| 1) What did you aunts do that proved the evil?
2) While I think the way they went about it was rather shitty, I am glad she is back with you guys. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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Originally posted by Elara 1. If you would like a demonstration, wave a dollar bill around in front of them and see who kills the other one racing to you to snatch it out of your hand. Beth has (or at least had) all of Lola's money. And now it's all been spent. When Evelyn (SF aunt) came down to visit, she was gathering things in the house to mail up to her clan in the Bay Area. They pretty much strong-armed Lola into selling her house, which has been on the market for a few months now, and Beth ransacked it for whatever she could get her hands on, even bringing in her friend to take what she wanted. Said friend ACTUALLY told me, not realizing who I was, "Just take anything you can get. You can always sell it later." Every time Beth went over there, she loaded up her van with anything that wasn't nailed down, no matter who it was promised to or what it meant to someone else (she ALMOST stole my mother's sewing machine, which Mom had loaned to Lola to use over the years), and you know where most of it is? Rotting on her driveway. Literally. She doesn't care about any of the stuff, just so long as no one else can have it. Whenever I was over there as Beth started "clearing the house," Lola would beg me to take things and keep them safe and at the same time, whenever she had a lucid moment, she would cry and sob about how she had nothing left and she doesn't know what she's going to do. And in the mean time, Beth's spent all of Lola's money, and kept Lola in complete and utter squalor -- a room that's just her bed, in my aunt's house where there are no less than 10 chihuahuas (my aunt has dozens) running around shitting and pissing everywhere and it's not getting cleaned up and everything cluttered and dusty and you can barely navigate through the house. This is HER MOTHER. A few weeks back, I had to to take Lola to get her nails done. There was so much fungus under her nails and Beth NEVER bathes her. My mom is the only one who does. Whole weeks would pass before Lola was allowed to come over. She was supposed to come every weekend (and I'm supposed to get paid for watching her), but Beth would make it so she only came once a month, if at all. And Evelyn hasn't done anything in the way of trying to care for her mother. She's up in the Bay Area with her family and the only news that we hear from her is her fuming about Beth taking the money. 2. I'm sitting with Lola in the dining room right now, and she keeps begging to know when Brandon is going to drive her up to my aunt's house (where she may never return to again). She keeps giving reasons about how today would be best because Mom would be working tomorrow and that my uncle is sick (I have no idea where this info comes from). I've literally had to flat out say, "Beth doesn't want you to come." With how heartbroken she looks, it's among the worst things I've ever said in my life, but at the same time it's like she forgot it right away because she keeps going, "Brandon will take me now?" This morning she screamed at me to come down stairs because someone was in the house while my parents were at church. A few nights ago she got up at 2 in the morning and started banging on my parents' bedroom door with her cane, shouting that the house was on fire. (Last edited by Rogue on 11-27-11 03:14 PM) |
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Belial Bazu Since: 01-29-05 From: New Zealand Since last post: 4400 days Last activity: 4014 days |
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| That is heartbreaking to hear, Rogue. I think someone should definitely call, Adult Protective Services. I mean, despite her illness, no one deserves to live like that, with people like that! I know it's hard because it's family… but it all sounds so fucked up! =/ | |||
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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| Thank you for the sentiment. We've worked out a deal so that she is here half of the month now.
She's here now. In fact, she just charged out the door shouting about needing to save these people that she swears she can hear in one of the neighboring houses. When we tried to stop her, she kept protesting that we'll "be responsible if they suffocate!!" She's also demanding that we give her a knife and scissors, and she's thrown a fit at Brandon for not giving them to her. All day she's been talking to herself and having conversations with people who aren't there -- specifically dead people, and sometimes a child-version of myself. Seriously. She comes into the room sometimes saying that "Christine's going to fall off the bed" and other such things. At this very moment she's scratching at the front door, trying to get out. I guess I'm just posting here because I don't know what else to do other than watch her. She's been talking about dying a lot more than she used to, sometimes asserting that we're trying to kill her. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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| I ended up having a nervous breakdown this morning.
My uncle was coming by to pick Lola up for a doctor's appointment, which she was then supposed to go to my aunt's house afterwards, but since my aunt is "sick" (and determined to inconvenience Brandon and me) Lola's returning here. I mentioned in the Fuck You thread that Brandon's birthday was Tuesday and we had plans to spend the day out-of-town this week, but those were pretty much thrown out the window because I needed to be here to take care of Lola since Beth wouldn't take her back on Sunday when she was supposed to. Anyway, I'm up extra early, I'm changing Lola's diaper, cleaning her up, changing her clothes, doing her hair, perfuming her, cleaning her glasses, getting her breakfast (it's all just one big argument after another), and then sitting back and waiting for my uncle to come and -- surprise, surprise -- he's over half an hour late. At about the 30 minute mark, she gets up and decides she needs to have a bowel movement. She goes to the bathroom and then starts screaming for me, needing help with pulling her skirt up. She goes and then a few minutes later she's screaming for me to wipe her ass. 
My uncle comes, picks her up, and leaves. And for some reason I just burst into tears a few minutes later. It's just.. is this what my life has come to? This is supposed to be temporary, but I just don't know. My parents are insisting I get a job, and yet yelling at me to stay home with Lola. In that same vein, I left my laptop on the dining room table the other day since I have to be down there to watch Lola and I needed to leave in a hurry to take Brandon to class. My mom started using it and deleted all of my tabs (I had like 50 open on Firefox for different things I was looking into and researching). I got home after dropping Brandon off at school, saw her trying to Google some church or some shit and got angry that she just closed everything. My dad then stepped in to go, "Well, you shouldn't have left it there!" and then threatened that he wouldn't let me use his car any more. It's like I'm never allowed to be mad or upset, like I'm being gaslighted. Worse yet, Mom was saying she thought my laptop was hers (mine is white, had this texture on it, and is older. Hers is black, shiny, newer, and wider). WTF, Mom? On top of this, I'm only paid $400 a month (if I'm lucky). I've been having to pay for food and gas for Brandon and myself and even Lola, and then I've been paying Brandon's insurance and schooling. I'm broke. I put so much into making Lola look presentable and taken care of. Whenever we get her from my aunt, it's always, "Give her a bath. She stinks!" You have to bathe her too, you cunt! She can't take care of herself. Her hair is always uncombed, her clothes are never changed, and she just smells like piss and shit all the time. Fuck you, Beth. Worse than all of this, Lola's mind is GONE. Every few minutes she'll ask me about having to pick up my Auntie Evelyn from the airport or something of the like. Even when I reassure her that they aren't coming she'll say OK, move on, and then FIVE FUCKING MINUTES LATER she'll ask AGAIN. She's asking me to make up a bed for family that isn't there and isn't coming. She keeps saying there's a snake in her room or that someone's sleeping under her bed. My parents bitch about having to deal with her at the end of the day, but I deal with her 24 HOURS A DAY. I have to be the one to talk her down from things and try to get her to calm down, take her medication, and go to bed. Fuck that Beth wouldn't take her for the week that she's supposed. I doubt she'll pay me the $200 that would be owed. I just feel so damned unloved, unappreciated, and unhappy. I really just want to leave. I feel like I've lost touch with the world. (Last edited by Rogue on 02-02-12 03:28 PM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 135 days Last activity: 135 days |
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| *huggles*
I think that what you are doing is amazing and very kind, though I know it is stressful to no end. You're doing the job that a trained professional should be doing for a fraction of the price, and you really should not have to. Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that it's your source of income and you are the only person Lola has to depend upon, I would honestly tell them all to go fuck themselves and leave. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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| I need a life. Need one soooo bad.
I've been watching my grandmother day and night for the last month, and my parents keep talking down to me to do this or that like I was hired help. "Wake your lola up for dinner. Get her her teeth. Cut her meat for her. Change her diaper. Change her clothes. Put her to bed." It's to the point that if my mom EVER has to do anything because my hands are full, she acts overly exasperated and my dad yells at me to do it. I just asked if I could use the car to go to the library and was yelled at to stay home with Lola while they go over to her house to sort through her things. Meanwhile my college friends are getting on with their careers. I'm REALLY trying not to feel suicidal, but... Sorry. I really need to stop thinking about myself and my problems. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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| Guess who's finally spilling about everything to the authorities?
This chick. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 135 days Last activity: 135 days |
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| We need a .gif of that motion for these occasions.
But yes, sadness for the reasons, but YAY! You told them everything, everything? Or just related to the recent stuff? |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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| Brandon told them about the negligence, the dirty, dog shit-filled house, and the money, on top of the fact that she was taken to the hospital.
Oddly enough they never asked for my aunt's address, but they wanted ours. I'm hoping they figure out that the abuse was going on there and not here. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 135 days Last activity: 135 days |
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| That is a bit suspicious. He didn't question that? | |||
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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| Well, we're hoping it gets sorted out today when a nurse and a social worker come by.
I'll update you if anything comes of it. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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| This has been the most challenging week of my life. I literally started crying because Brandon didn't pick which half of a sandwich he wanted fast enough.
I'm a fucking trainwreck. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 135 days Last activity: 135 days |
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| *hugs*
Like I said on the facebook, you are strong, and you can get through this. Care to explain what all has been going on? Venting could help. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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| I told you all the nitty gritty details in PM.
Anyway, today a social worker came and the nurse returned after that. It's been a pretty full day -- making sure Lola was fed, showered, put in a clean diaper and clothes, groomed, and perfumed, down for a nap, fed again, and looking good for these people coming to see her, then putting her down for another nap while making sure her sore neck was covered with a heating pad. I realized last night, after making sure all of her needs were met, as I was doing the dishes and giving her medication, that I've actually become pretty responsible when it's mattered. Now to find a job. (Last edited by Rogue on 03-03-12 01:19 PM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 135 days Last activity: 135 days |
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| I'd make a joke about finding a job in a nursing home since you have the experience... but I have a feeling you might kill me for it.
But you are right, I think this has proven just how responsible you are and can be given as definitive proof of your reliability, so hopefully it will aid in the job search. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 669 days Last activity: 478 days |
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Originally posted by Elara Heh, I actually worked at an old folks home when I was in high school. I was an activities room aide. It was a hell of a job. Hell, as in, it was shitty. Well... it was rewarding, but I got a look at the inside of the world of convalescent hospitals and I swore off ever putting my parents in them. Nurses were negligent, ignored patients, patients were constantly crying or asking why their family doesn't visit them, orderlies had a betting pool on who would die next... like I said, it was shitty. Anyway, Lola's sleeping comfortably with her heating pad, and the Beth keeps calling to ask us what exactly we told the hospital, since so far, she seems to think they're the ones who filed the report. Thus far she's backpeddled and now claims SHE'S the one who insisted we take Lola to the hospital to get checked out, and not that I demanded we take her while Beth said to just put an icepack on it. |
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