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| Xeogaming Forums - General Chat - How Much Have You Changed? |
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Katana Dark Wizard \"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\"          Since: 08-15-04 From: Philadelphia, P.A. Since last post: 1554 days Last activity: 1372 days |
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| This question crossed my mind the other night. I found an old box of "important" shit, and some of it were things I had written. Notes, quick "diary"like entries, pictures...
I really don't seem to change much physically, but I've noticed some other quite significant changes. For one, I'm actually a REALLY confident person. I used to care sooo much about either pleasing others, or just trying not to rock the boat...OR I was REALLY antagonizing. For instance, at home, I was quite the submissive one. If I rocked the boat, that meant my studying was disrupted. Even in high school, I went on grants. Grades are money to me. I couldn't afford to lose what I had, and what I had ultimately earned for myself for college. Outside of the house it was all about fighting EVERYone. Less out of defense and more out of proving myself...TO myself. I felt like if I didn't take a swing at the person looking at me the wrong way, that they would see that as weakness, and it would escalate. Most cases in my younger grade school/early high school years, it WOULD escalate if I didn't...but it was an old habit to grow out of, and in that regard, I grew slower than the bullies that gave the initial reason TO swing. But now I'm legitimately pretty damn confident. I say it like a joke, that I'm so freaking awesome, but I'm not joking.  I just don't condone being a TRUE elitist asshole (I only do it when the people around actually think it's funny. That's one thing that HASN'T changed. Always LOVED making people laugh.) One can be awesome without putting others down in the process...and that's actually what I used to be so afraid of growing up. I couldn't wrap the idea around one celebrating their own potential without putting someone else down. Guess it had to do with the big family or something. Things were a competetion. But now I know it's possible. So I accept the cool shit I can bring to the table. Acknowledge it. And STILL appreciate that I'm not the only one out there who can bring something to the table. Might sound like a no-brainer to most people, but not having the confidence to think like this was a big deal for me.
Like, even here. I get a little more cocky and less of that fluffy "Tee Hee" shit. It's rather embarassing seeing that stuff now. How 'bout you guys? We're all from different places, but it's cool feeling like we're growing up together too. |
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Cteno Super Shotgun Moderator Since: 01-11-05 Since last post: 92 days Last activity: 89 days |
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| I used to be heavy in to anime... living, sleeping, and breathing it. I usually didn't care about the quality of it or the voice acting or any of that. Now I'm kind of a cynical bastard and I'm really picky about what I watch. The same template can be applied to video games and movies in most regards. | |||
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| My perception of myself is very abstract, like knowing what my face looks like without having seen my reflection. I mean, I could argue that I'm completely different from who I was when the board started and, at the same time, I don't think I've really changed at all.
I know I've learned a lot, gone to all sorts of places, seen all kinds of new things, and I've graduated from college. Well, I'm definitely heavier. That's for certain. After we found out Dad was severely diabetic on my birthday in 2007, I went nuts with eating, sort of as an I-know-I-shouldn't-be-doing-this-but-for-some-reason-I'm-REALLY-compelled-to-do-it deal. |
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Astrophel Fear will kill your mind and steal your love as sure as anything; Fear will rob you blind and make you numb to others suffering  Since: 10-03-04 From: Azul Lux Orbital, Kirin Beta Since last post: 2480 days Last activity: 1330 days |
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| I've gradually gotten more reclusive, withdrawn, and bitter.
Oddly, my depression is nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I don't get it either. Other than that, it's hard to say. I'm not very good with self-analysis, and it tends to depress/anger/upset me when I try, so I think it's best I not force the issue tonight. |
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Alexiel Alternate Reality Fiend Since: 09-08-09 Since last post: 4588 days Last activity: 3678 days |
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| I've gotten quite a bit outgoing.
And I'm kind of an ass now. The only thing that never changes about me is my legendary laziness. |
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Katana Dark Wizard \"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\" Since: 08-15-04 From: Philadelphia, P.A. Since last post: 1554 days Last activity: 1372 days |
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Originally posted by Alexiel My twin. Self-evaluation is difficult. And mildly depressing, I suppose. But have you ever HAD to do it? I'm in the middle of one of THOSE sorts of issues, and I figured just generally speaking about it and sharing experiences with others would be a relaxing way to go about it.  But sometimes you just HAVE to self-evaluate, be it an emotional hole, physical, financial, ect hole you're getting yourself out of. (That hasn't changed. I need to stop trying to be so philosophical.  ) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| Heavier, that much is for certain. More emotional baggage but better dealing with it. Plus I am more inclined to stand up for myself. Other than that, I'd say I am mostly the same aside from stuff learned in school and as a result of moving. | |||
Belial Bazu Since: 01-29-05 From: New Zealand Since last post: 4364 days Last activity: 3979 days |
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| I have changed... -quite- a bit the past year. Finally stood up for myself against my husband (now divorced), I've matured a bit, tastes have changed... But I am still me!
Physically I have changed quite a bit. I've lost 30 pounds since last May, dropped three sizes and I've had a tonsillectomy! It's been an amazing year of personal growth and bettering my physique. |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt  Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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| - Stopped having a huge baby crush on True. Yeah, I said this, and I'll admit; it was childish back in the old days when i would constantly make threads about her while flaming. But hey, people can change. Glad I finally grew a pair and moved on I suppose. She is my sister. Nothing more.
- Remember when I used to absolutely love ICP? That's gone. I remember spouting threads and even having news casts about the members of that bad. Glad that is down the shitter. Good riddance. - Posting quality improved. - General hotness improved x infinity. (Not really i'm still a nerd who sucks shit at life fuck you) - I have a job where I can maintain myself if the time comes. At least now I can spoil myself a lot to where I can afford things. But at least I can spend the money when I need it like if I break a bone in my body or whatever. Needless to say, I can support myself financially. - I support my family. That's about it |
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Cteno Super Shotgun Moderator Since: 01-11-05 Since last post: 92 days Last activity: 89 days |
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Originally posted by Bitmap This!! If I could go back in time, I'd kick myself in the nads and show myself the wonders of METAL! |
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Katana Dark Wizard \"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\" Since: 08-15-04 From: Philadelphia, P.A. Since last post: 1554 days Last activity: 1372 days |
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| **thinks**
I'm surprisingly not ashamed of my choice of music at any point in my life. But I was exposed to all sorts since birth pretty much, so my problem was finding a favorite. I just realized something...what about the notion of "chores"? Like, seriously...some of us are on our own now, and those that aren't...well, we ARE older...but did anyone have any chores as a kid and they loathed doing them? Although, I never had a problem with doing dishes, someone would still have to say "Hey Kate, can you do up the dishes?" for me to think to do them. Just now, I walked by my sink, and did them because they were there. Same reason why I vacumn, wipe things down, dust, etc...just because I'm here, it's there, and something should be done about it. I can't pinpoint when I made that change, but it happened somewhere while growing up. :p |
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Xeoman Ball and Chain Trooper Administrator  Since: 08-14-04 From: 255 Since last post: 88 days Last activity: 76 days |
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It's alright guys, I liked Linkin Park back in jr. high. *cringes* ...
Originally posted by Katana That's pretty funny since I'm the same way. I think chores kind of trained me to keep things a little neat and ordered. I hate to say it but my sister is a MESS around the place, her room is crazy and she seriously makes our bathroom look nasty. I don't get it, haha. I also think her and my dad are really bad about the dishes. They often just throw them in the sink without even washing them down. So it feels like it's often my mom and I cleaning up that area thesedays and running the dishes. I do it a lot more often than I used too nowadays as well, I guess namely because I've been without work off and on throughout the year and I know my mom is really busy sometimes, so if I walk into the kitchen and the dishes are piled up or the dishwasher hasn't been emptied in days, may as well get that done! I don't know what else to say about the topic, kind of with Astrophel here I guess on feeling weird thinking about this or something. - I can say physically I've put on 20-30 pounds since high school which is great for me. Definitely look a lot better thesedays. Although I need to get back into shape. - I'm more outgoing myself. One of those things that makes me wish I could redo high school, since it's just not hard at all to approach women. lol... - I speak up and am more attentive in classes when I'm in school, least last year, than I ever was in high school. Was always that guy sitting in the very back and just kept to myself, but now it's a little different. Still... I'd say I prefer to sit in the middle or so now, not the front!
- One really funny thing my mom actually told me earlier this year is that she pictured me being the kind of guy that would probably get into partying/drinking and for some reason pictured me having an apartment with beer bottles stacked up. I have no idea why. But she thought that back when I was in high school and had a collection of Jones Soda bottles, I have no idea why. She apparently asked if I'd be like that with beer in the future and I guess at the time I said something like "No way mom, I'm not going to be like that at all". ... I just kind of laugh at that now, since I like to drink. lol |
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Katana Dark Wizard \"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\" Since: 08-15-04 From: Philadelphia, P.A. Since last post: 1554 days Last activity: 1372 days |
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Originally posted by 7 Haha. Yeah...I used to be SOOOO adamant about never drinking. I drank like twice while underage...was never too fond of it...but I'd say since I turned 22, I've been all about it. :p I'm that guy that when friends are pondering a place to play pool, I am the first with a solid answer. "Dave and Busters! Cheaper to play, and they serve drinks!"  Haha. |
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天国JOE ���A�ǂ��ɂȂ�̂���낤�H Since: 09-02-04 From: Destroy Tower Since last post: 4025 days Last activity: 3390 days |
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| THE POWER OF THE GODS IS NOW IN MY HAND... | |||
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Xeoman Ball and Chain Trooper Administrator Since: 08-14-04 From: 255 Since last post: 88 days Last activity: 76 days |
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Originally posted by KatanaOriginally posted by 7 Chucky Cheeses for adults. lol, my friends and I need to hang out there sometime. |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4556 days Last activity: 4550 days |
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| You noobs need to learn about a barcraft and THEN you will be in business my gamer friends!
E- Nothing better than being at some random bar watching E-sports while playing pool and drinking your ass off. Old folks don't even know what the fuck (Last edited by Bitmap on 09-05-11 12:19 AM) |
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SirAileron Keese  Since: 08-21-11 Since last post: 4803 days Last activity: 4803 days |
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| Barcraft? That sounds hilarious.
I remember when I used to be less confident about my worth to other people. I was much more polite back then, mostly because I didn't think I had any right to be mean to people. It made me a rather secluded person, and I kept mostly to myself. That shit's stupid when you're the kind of guy that thrives on playing multiplayer games, and has the best time in the world going countless rounds against your friends in fighting games. As it turns out, I was, remain to be, and likely will always be one of the few people among the myriad I know that are virtually always right. So, I opened up, and grabbed my free life pass to being a dick. Lots of people have thanked me for it, amusingly, since they'd have never listened to my advice or warnings otherwise. I've become known as my community's Jesus, which isn't something I'd ever call myself. 
As far as things have gone to not change, though, I still haven't held a relationship for more than 6 months. ... haha, oh well. |
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Katana Dark Wizard \"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\" Since: 08-15-04 From: Philadelphia, P.A. Since last post: 1554 days Last activity: 1372 days |
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| Barcraft? Hahaha. Sounds AWESOME. Although, I'm hung over right now, so I'll re-read that one later to fully appreciate it.
And yes. Dave and Busters is Chucky Cheese for adults. Honestly, when as many people as you want to bring can play pool, all freaking night, for 6 bucks a table...D&B is awesome... And I'd go with "Sage" before "Jesus" Ails. :p |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| Tell me more of this barcraft, Bitmap. I am very curious about it.
As for that whole music thing... I like to pretend the pre-high school days didn't really exist... I ended those when I left my Hanson CD on the railroad track. |
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Xeoman Ball and Chain Trooper Administrator Since: 08-14-04 From: 255 Since last post: 88 days Last activity: 76 days |
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I love pool, even though I suck at it.  |
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