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12-04-24 09:17 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Entertainment - Overhauling (TLC) | |
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Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 946 days
Last activity: 946 days
Posted on 04-26-05 10:36 PM Link | Quote
So, I'm bored in the hotel in Phoenix (Tempe, to be exact), and started watching the only thing that remotely piqued my interest, Overhauling, on the TLC channel. So, I figured, "Cool idea, huh?" They steal your car, fabricate stories behind it, overhaul it, and return it to you all the while thinking that your car ceased to exist in your life.

Except, while it might be cool if they abducted my Jack, and overhauled it into some monstrosity that even I wouldn't drive because I wouldn't look cool in it, I don't think they'd ever be able to produce the Jack I want.

My dream design for Jack? Easy.

Trash the gasoline engine. It may be the life of the vehicle and the thing that lets me know when Jack is pissed, but it's got to go. Give me ultra-efficient hybrid drive, and I'm set. Couple that with a linux (or unix) driven computer system to monitor everything, and we're on our way. Now, for the fun. Sound proof the entire engine space, enhance the performance so I'll get that extra boost to overtake the raced-out dorks on the road, and silence the whole thing so I can still hear the occasional Mozart. Trick being, no additional body work to the vehicle, except maybe changing the hood to achieve a better drag coefficient ratio, so that the unsuspecting vehicle owner gets just that more of a humiliation from being owned by a 1998 Mercury Tracer with gay stickers on the back.

Move to the interior space, driver side first. Remove the entire internal dash panels, gauges and everything else. Flatten that area and install a heat-resistant, liquid cooled LCD panel (dual panels, one facing driver, one facing windshield) for customizable digital guage readouts facing the driver, and a reversed image for "floating" three-dimensional map directions in front of you both during the day, and at night. Option for night vision camera installed just below the front hood. Remove the steering wheel installing a custom wheel wired for programmable keys to the computer control unit, to help keep your hands on the road. Below, adjustable gas and brake pedals for added comfort.

Center console, rip it out. New stereo system, powered by a mobile PC linux (or unix, haven't decided) box mounted in the trunk, 5" (or 7", money pending) touchscreen LCD control panel for every system onboard (GPS, mobile WiFi, DVD video, options for gaming systems, computerized security, computerized ignition, SACD sound quality CD changer (trunk), MP3 capabilities, climate control, and more), and smart card reader for added security, or serving as the valet "key".

Passenger side (airbags aren't present, aren't really needed), rip out the dead airbag units, and install a retractable 7" touchscreen LCD panel (also cooled, and shock mounted) for mobile internet with wireless keyboard/mouse combo, also doubles as DVD screen, and control system for stereo/DVD units.

The seats in front? Easy, small speakers on either side of the headrests to enhance the surround sound effect from the door speakers, back seat speakers, and centralized front speaker. Rear view mirror/screen combo for the rear mounted camera to aid with parking. Central console revamped so I can actually store things as opposed to just the emergency brake. Bluetooth capabilities built in, along with USB ports for accessories. GPS units installed in the roof for maximum satellite uplink. And, with the center console shaved down, the bigger cups of America actually fit!

Behind the headrests, something that isn't too new, small screens for whatever's accessible...but make these touchscreens as well. Add USB, video ports, and game ports, and the backseat people are happy. Separate earphone plugs as well, just in case you don't want to hear me or the stereo...or Junkie's singing.

Paint the thing midnight blue, metallic, with a greenish lighting bolt down the middle.

I have more, but I'm going elsewhere for now. What's your dream overhaul? Meaning, take a normal car, and do what you want to it, not buying stock vehicle dream thingies...
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