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Makura        Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5889 days Last activity: 5154 days |
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| A great man once said, “It isn’t until you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.” So, several times I’ve had to ignore the urge to light my house on fire, and start over new. I wish I were kidding. In reality, that quote isn’t about material objects. It’s about emotions and relationships. It’s also the reason why drug addicts can start over so easily, because they’ve finally hit the bottom of that, what seems to be, never ending abyss; and the door of time opens and they’re back standing on the edge gazing into the black hole. What does it really mean to lose everything? And how does that leave you free to do anything?
“I’m a drug addict.” The words my mother spoke to me weren’t shocking, but the realm of hearing them vocalized knocked me on my ass. Those words; so harsh as she spat them through the layers of snot, tears, and caked on make-up. With my eyes narrowed and brow furrowed, I was taken back. This was not news to me. I did not spend two years in a household of hell, and have no idea what was going on. One word swam its way through the deep falls of my mind. Oblivion. Note: I know it isn't much, but I'll expand on it. Just wanted to see what you guys thought of the flow. (Last edited by Makura on 01-09-06 01:29 AM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 102 days Last activity: 102 days |
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| Interesting. I think it might be better if you have her say "I'm a drug addict" before the comment about the words knocking you on your ass, other than that though I think it has promise of a good story. | |||
Katana Dark Wizard \"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\"  Since: 08-15-04 From: Philadelphia, P.A. Since last post: 1557 days Last activity: 1374 days |
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Well, we do enjoy the flow obviously. :p Now let us see some more of that talent of yours.  |
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Makura Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5889 days Last activity: 5154 days |
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| Updated.... A great man once said, “It isn’t until you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.” So, several times I’ve had to ignore the urge to light my house on fire, and start over new. I wish I were kidding. In reality, that quote isn’t about material objects. It’s about emotions and relationships. It’s also the reason why drug addicts can start over so easily, because they’ve finally hit the bottom of that, what seems to be, never ending abyss; and the door of time opens and they’re back standing on the edge gazing into the black hole. What does it really mean to lose everything? And how does that leave you free to do anything? “I’m a drug addict.” The words my mother spoke to me weren’t shocking, but the realm of hearing them vocalized knocked me on my ass. Those words; so harsh as she spat them through the layers of snot, tears, and caked on make-up. With my eyes narrowed and brow furrowed, I was taken back. This was not news to me. I did not spend two years in a household of hell, and have no idea what was going on. One word swam its way through the deep falls of my mind. Oblivion. How could she be so Oblivious to the world around her? Day after day, her only priority was to get high. How could a person become so wrapped in lies? She brainwashed my brother and me into thinking we were obeying our loayalty to her by lying to the rest of the world. We hid her drug habit for her. If one of us slipped up and accidentally told the truth, that meant we didn't really love her; and she would beat the concept into me. She never hit my brother, Is it wrong to resent him for that? It proabably is, but there is no use holding back now. Oblivious to anyone but herself she became Amie Mullin: Addict Girlfriend Project Manager Mother Sadly, in that order. Ripped out of my musings by crackling sobs. Her breath became the flair and pop of a fire. I just looked at her. Oblivion. The word is a grey cloud and my mind is a sunny day.Oblivion. How could they not know? My father had partial custody. My grandparents called often. I don't understand how they could not know. I covered the bruises, the tears, the fear, but I also covered her. Was it my fault? I would lie for her when she was off chasing the high. "She's in the shower." "She ran to the store." Those were the most commond lies I'd use. It was really difficult to lie when she was gone for days at a time. I would sit at home and pray that she would never come back. I wanted to run away so badly and there was only one thing stopping me. Matthew, my younger brother. He was so innocent. So beautiful. So good. He was so oblivious. Torn again from my thoughts. this time by the presence of another person. My father loomed over me. Heartache projected from his eyes. He gently jerked his head in the direction opposite my mother. It was time to leave;run away from this place. He was here to rescue me. She'd given me up, my borther too. We were free. Why did I want to stay? Why did I feel obligated to fix everything? Why am I the one to save her? Why couldn't I drift into Oblivion? (Last edited by Makura on 01-17-06 06:42 PM) |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 102 days Last activity: 102 days |
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| Lots of whys in that last part, it brings out the emotion very well. Please do continue. *puppy dog eyes* |
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