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12-27-24 05:30 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - When the ex calls you out of the blue | |
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Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 669 days
Last activity: 478 days
Posted on 04-11-06 08:54 PM Link | Quote
I was with this guy for 4 years and however many months. Broke up with him after I felt like I couldn't continue a sparkless relationship any longer. For a several months after our break-up, he constantly called me asking why we weren't together any more if we both felt we fit together and begging me to come back. It got to be stressful at times, and I felt like a monster for hurting him so.

It being a long distance relationship, he came to visit to try and ask again in person. Words can't express how awkward it was, especially when other guys who I had mutual interest with would call. Anyway, by the end of the trip, we both agreed it was over and that was all we'd said to each other for many months. Occasionally there'd be a birthday wish through e-mail here and there, but if there was any calling it was him. And the conversations always turned to him asking, "So.. are you with anyone?"

Last night, he called again, for the first time in more than a year. He asked me if I could send him a current picture of myself and so the conversation moved to online. After the usual, "How are you?" "I'm all right, you?" , he suddenly asks, "So when's the wedding date?"

I tell him I'm not engaged. He suddenly intercedes with, "Ooo you with anyone?" I tell him yes and he starts interrogating me for how long. I tell him two years on the 18th. To be polite I ask him if he's with anyone. Immediately he replies, "Yes 2 yr 3 months."

I congratulate him and he sends me a webpage full of nothing but pictures of him with other people, mostly many different women. Then I notice him holding a little girl. Knowing that he has many female friends (and no offense to them when I say this) who are often pregnant, I figured I'd be nice and ask whose daughter it was.

His response: "Mine. She's just turned 2."

This amuses me.

I tell him how cute I think she looks and after a few more words between us, eventually the conversation drops.

He and I broke up 3 years ago last month, completely severing our ties 3 years ago in August. When you consider the time between then and his daughter's possible conception, he was workin' pretty fast.

Am I angsty about this? No. I didn't want him. So why should I care.

I think the thing that makes me dwell on this is the fact that I've lately been feeling like my life is stuck in a rut. Things are going well, but I still haven't progressed in my eyes, I guess. I suppose my problem is that I'm trying too hard to seek happiness in all aspects in life and watching my friends go on to move out, graduate, have children, get married and so on is making me feel like I'm in this rut, despite the fact that I don't want children or to get married (at least not now). I guess, I just want to find happiness now like they seem to have.

Don't get me wrong, my life right now is pretty good like I said, but does anyone else feel these pressures to get life into second gear NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, and can't seem to get out of park?


(Last edited by Rogue on 04-13-06 01:47 PM)
Googie

Super Zombie








Since: 06-13-05
From: Union, New Jersey

Since last post: 3195 days
Last activity: 3195 days
Posted on 04-11-06 10:23 PM Link | Quote
I hated it when my ex lady used to call me outta the blue cause she woulda always try to get me back even if she knows I don't love her anymore. She's one of the reasons I had to change my phone number, from calling without warning then she started leaving threatning messages on my answering machine.
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 669 days
Last activity: 478 days
Posted on 04-13-06 11:00 AM Link | Quote
I hear that. The ex after this guy I just mentioned used to call when he wanted something (usually sex), and I tell you, he was such a woman. He got pissed off over EVERYTHING.

Even though our relationship was only a month, he'd call asking if I wanted to do something and then he'd say something like he'll understand if I have other plans. I always tended to be busy, so I'd tell him that I did have prior engagements, and then he'd suddenly get ridiculously pissed off.

Take when he called asking if I wanted to spend New Years with him at his apartment alone. I had already promised my friend, David, that I would go to his party like I did every year. Although my ex said he'd understand if I already had plans for New Years, he got upset when I declined his invitation, called me a selfish bitch and hung up; only to call again 10 minutes later to beg me to come to his apartment, I'd say I couldn't and the calling me names would start anew.

It's people like him that make me wish I could just change my number.

There was another guy who used to call all the freakin' time wanting to talk to me and hang out, and even though I was home, I'd tell my parents to say I wasn't. He'd usually ask when I'd be getting home and then say something to the effect of, "Well I'm going to call at 1, and if she's not there, I'm gonna be angry."

This guy and I never dated, but my God did he ever hang on for a long time.


(Last edited by Rogue on 04-13-06 07:29 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 135 days
Last activity: 135 days
Posted on 04-13-06 01:19 PM Link | Quote
My ex calls me quite often, half the time it's him being mopey, other half it's cool. Another ex contacted me on MySpace a few weeks back... he has a kid and all that. He was such a dunce, but he joined the army so he found a decent career. It really made me feel like you do Rogue, and I hate that feeling so much.

Of course, the scary thing is when the ex of your significant other calls.
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 669 days
Last activity: 478 days
Posted on 04-13-06 05:58 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Elara
Of course, the scary thing is when the ex of your significant other calls.

I just read your post, and I'm really sorry about that.

Wanna go see Sound & Fury with Brandon and me? I'll cover your ticket.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 135 days
Last activity: 135 days
Posted on 04-14-06 03:36 AM Link | Quote
Thanks, Rogue... the show was awesome... especially for the good news during it.

Tee hee... and somehow the phrase "Oh bother" made it's way into the show... all hail the Tao of Pooh!

You know, the thing I didn't mention before about the ex thing... the one that calls all the time, Elias... always this lazy meek person who so easily discouraged it's sad, worked at a videostore since we were going out (over 3 years ago), only went to community college for one year. He got hired, thanks to a customer at the videostore, at a company in East Los Angeles working with computers (which he loves) and getting paid $15/hour just while training... it'll go up to $17-$20/hour after training is done (depending on his performance... which has been excellent, so it's looking like $20) and they pay for him to go back to school to specialize in the field he is working in. I can never remember the name of his work, but I know the building is pretty much the network hub of Los Angeles.

See, it's things like the above that really make you feel like your life is in a rut. It's downright depressing!
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 669 days
Last activity: 478 days
Posted on 04-14-06 01:19 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Elara
Thanks, Rogue... the show was awesome... especially for the good news during it.

Tee hee... and somehow the phrase "Oh bother" made it's way into the show... all hail the Tao of Pooh!

No worries, I'm just glad this wasn't a repeat of past incidences and better yet, that it never even happened.

At least should you reflect back on the day, aside from the relationship issues, you can think on Richard, Phil and Shelby.

Originally posted by Elara
See, it's things like the above that really make you feel like your life is in a rut. It's downright depressing!

Exactly!

I mean when Nelson contacted me and showed me pictures of his daughter, I wasn't envious and wanted a kid myself or anything like that. I was depressed because I was seeing how satisfied he was with how his life is progressing and moving forward while I feel like I'm still in college trying to figure out how to swim (theoretically speaking).

What's more he went to Devry and is currently working on his PhD.

I'm happy for him as I am for all my friends that are getting married (3 of my old friends contacted me to tell me about their approaching weddings), moving away, transferring out, graduating, having children and so on.

The one that really makes me feel left in the dust is our current editor in chief. She's one of the laziest people I've met, doesn't do anything herself, yet she gets paid more, she just started a dance troupe in January and are already going to be performing in Warped Tour, she's going on a dig in Norway with the anthropology teacher, and she apparently owned her own record label where she claims she discovered all of these indie punk bands and knows many celebrities. She's 23.

You would think someone who hands me her work to do wouldn't be able to achieve so much, but there it is. On top of this, she was recently hit by a car and now is an even bigger martyr.

I'm happy for her and all, but it just makes me depressed.
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