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| Xeogaming Forums - Game Over - Wow, Im fucking crying |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt          Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4559 days Last activity: 4553 days |
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| Why? Im gonna tell you why. Why me? Why is it that im the only person in this family with a bright future? Why am I the ONLY one in the hall family with a bright future, but a major burden in my fucking life right now...
Not too long ago I leave my room to grab me a drink of water, you know, I get thirsty from staying in my room all day. Well, I noticed my dad's door was open and I saw him laying in the bed...Stoned The first time I saw my father do Crack cocaine in front of me... Well, my first question was "What are you doing"? Though I wasnt stupid, I asked anyway... ...Took him over a miunite to even notice I was in the room... After that I started to cry. I ran into my room, Locked it, and now im typing this up. Im fucking fed up with my family. Mother lives in a piece of shit house, sister is a stripper, and my father is a fucking crackhead...Though it diddnt bother me before, since he told me 3 years ago that he was going to 'straighten up'. I now know that he is in a major hell hole... Its redicilous, he looks like shit, he wears my clothes, which are now torn-up and beaten down, he constantly comes in my room all the time asking me for money that I earned from HIM! And...he looks like shit! Hes balding, he dosent talk right...he looks like what any crackhead would look like....total shit. And then I look at myself and im crying. Took me fucking long enough to, At my graduation my mom brough my uncle, who just reciently had a stroke...Just looking at him made my heart curl up...Friends are popping like baloons, and everything around me is slowly turning into a shithole. See, I used to have it made. I used to live in a huge 2 story house, 4 Cars in my driveway, All the systems I could ever ask for, and an awesome family! No words can describe how much in luck we were...untill that FUCKING CRACK CAME ALONG! We lost it all, My parents divorced, I went to a military acadamy because mom was stressing on how she was going to take care of me and my sister, Came back, Father tried to commit suicide...True remembers that but I dont think she fucking cares... About 4 days after that happend, I ran away because mom tried to brainwash me into hating my dad...But I love him, even to this day, my dad is my best friend... I just dont know, Tears are all over my keyboard...and im fucking angry....Im playing music as loud as I can to drown out the crying im doing...People know how loud it gets...And its starting to hurt my ears... I just wish that things can get better. I pray every single night for my father to get better...I want him to straighten up, I want him to give me dicipline, I want him to be a father like I so longed for...Instead of having to rely on families...I want my family back, and more importantly I want my father back.... Edit- Oh, and if your gonna tell me do do something about it. I have been for three fucking years. My aunt wants to give him 4 thousand dollars to get the best help imaginable. But he refuses to go My Uncle used to be an Ex-crackhead. and is giving my dad some medication to help him fight the urge...Fails I wrote to him countless letters to him about how I feel...I think I written about 20+ pages worth of words on how I feel....The notes are saved in a dresser...inside a fucking box My grandmother is always telling him that he needs to straighten up....5 mins later he asks for 5 dollars for "cigarette money" My mom and sister still talk to him. Just reciently my mom told him about my future...he said he would do everything for me...Right now. Nothing. He isnt even fucking trying Just everyone tried to help him for 3 years....[/edit] (Last edited by Master Sajin on 06-05-06 04:11 AM) |
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Lord Vulkas Mormonus Vile High Xeodent of Xeomerica.  Since: 10-29-04 From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way Since last post: 97 days Last activity: 97 days |
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| Unfortunately, I can only think of a few methods to handle this, none of which I think you would like at all, and all of which could easily make things worse.
Find whoever it is that's giving your dad drugs. Call the police, send that crackdealer into jail. If your dad find a new one, do the same. Eventually, word and rumors will spread, and people won't sell to him. The next thing you need to do it find him when he's about to do it, and stop him. Violence might be reasonable, just do anything you can to not let him take these drugs. According to you he's stopped helping you anyway. Oh, and at least don't loan him money, just make excuses, and save up your money so that you can get your own things in order to progress in life. |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4559 days Last activity: 4553 days |
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| Let me tell you something about my dad that sends chills down my spine.
My dad is a force to be reckoned with. If things dont go his way, he will raise hell, and nothing will get in his way. A Prime example of this is this: A person one day got in the way of dad getting drugs one day while I was there. The man pointed a gun in front of his face, pulled the trigger, and somehow the bullet went through his arm. The next thing I know im right there, the gun is shaking inside of my dad's arm, while I can hear the man's arm slowly breaking. My dad was breaking the fucker's hand...And thats not the worse part of it. I saw the gun and the barrel was bent at an angle which explains how the bullet went inside of his arm...Later on that day I was in the room with him and he was digging out the bullet with a knife like it was nothing... What happend to the man? He was in the hospitol with 4 broken bones, the back of his head was split open, and both of his eyes were bloodshot. My father is not human, and hes as stubborn as me, both of us will go to an all extent to get what we want... Also, do you know what happens if you trap a man who was addicted to crack? Its not a pretty sight, Vomit, Self mutiliation, sterotical and phycological surges will explode inside of the person...Back in my Rotten.com days, I watched it, and learned a thing or two from it....If my dad was that person, knowing him, he would probially break his own neck... Edit- I-Do-Not-Fuck-With-Him (Last edited by Master Sajin on 06-05-06 05:11 PM) |
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Trigger Happy Jones Since: 02-21-06 From: It's not hell... But it sure feels like it. *sweating* Since last post: 6701 days Last activity: 6701 days |
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| I can only suggest one thing: Move out. I'm not saying you should abandon them, but you should try to distance yourself from activities like that and get your own life in order... Other than that, I don't know what to suggest. Maybe Vulkar's right when it comes to not lending him money. (Last edited by Trigger Happy Jones on 06-05-06 05:23 PM) |
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01001000 Slow Ride Take It Easy  Since: 01-10-05 Since last post: 6529 days Last activity: 5879 days |
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| counciling, 911, talking to anyone who can help your family is more worthwhile than talking about this on a message board. I feel bad for you in your position and I hope for you that your predicament comes to an end and your families lives get straightened out. | |||
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4559 days Last activity: 4553 days |
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Meh, that was more of a rant rather than asking for advice...in fact...I never asked for any 
And read my edited post Hobo.... 
Edit- And about what you said hobo about leaving, thats why I went to military school for 2 years....
(Last edited by Master Sajin on 06-05-06 08:21 PM) |
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AlpoRaggins Troubadour Not so much dead. Since: 12-11-04 From: Someday, Somewhere, Over the Rainbow Since last post: 6615 days Last activity: 6504 days |
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| Nothing I can say will help; I've never been in a situation nearly as dark as yours nor do I see any connections to one in the future. All I can say that I can tell you'll survive this. Shit like this only makes a person stronger, and you already seem like a very stable person (judging by your general attitude on the message board). You're problems outweigh the trivialties other people face every day, and just like weight training, the more weight, and in this case stressors, you're able to stand the stronger you'll get. But also like weight training, there is a limit to how much you can push yourself. You're body is the only judge of what your max capacity is. The same thing goes for your mind; I think you'll know when you've reached the point where enough is enough; I suppose this will be when you can confidently formulate a good enough plan to get yourself out of your situation. Confronting your family may lead to more problems. You alone cannot straighten out other people's lives. Cutting ties won't wipe them off of the face of the planet, but it will get them out of your hair while you're establishing your own life, so maybe that's something you can attempt to do. If you consider that giving up, then don't; think of it as more of a way of putting the game on pause while you get your strategy ready.
Well... good luck man, and post if anything else comes up. |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4559 days Last activity: 4553 days |
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| Now this may become as a major surprise to you all for posting....But I just wanted to say something civil in a polite manner...
1: As soon as the Mods read this, Close this. I dont want no one else to post here after this post. 2: Heres what I have to say - To those that have said "All I have seen is 'ME ME ME' ". Let me tell you something, This is MY life, not yours. If I want to complain about my Family, I will. Im not complaining about matters between me and my Ex-friends. Dont be assuming things here thinking that im pissed off at True flight, or any other User here. Which, Im not pissed at her, im pissed because everyone has the whole damn story fucking wrong. And the fact my father smokes crack... Now, I never asked for advice, or any form of words of wisdom. This thread was a Rant. And If I want to point out issues in my life that can better clear up the situation, then I can, and its my decision to do so. *whew* Any story you heard about the "Current Situation" between me and True: YOU OBVIOUSLY DONT KNOW THE STORY IF YOUR PISSED OFF Here is the REAL STORY. Trust me, This is the real deal, and it wont make any of us BOTH look bad: She told me it was best we stopped being friends. It was two steps forward and three steps back, I respected her decision on the manner and moved on. So no one dosent need to take fucking sides on this situation and get all pissy at each other. I respect her decision. Why cant you accept the fact that I do and let this be done and over with? Want to read what she told me? idk teh 1337: I want a friendship that's more than built on getting by. What we are doing is taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. It's only getting worse and worse. I know you don't want to hear that, but that's my thoughts. My truest thoughts. I like the small talk, and that's about it. I don't want a "deep" friendship. Deeper friendships seem to crash when it's like that... Right now my arms are burning, and I've been thinking of the words to say. I hope that you understand. [/IM LOG] Note the underline, Its both of our faults, and we both know it Keep in mind that I respected her decision on what she said. Read my livejournal for more information Now....Is it because you have heard things about me that might have upset some people? Jesus Christ I thought we got over this in the 7th grade on this whole "She said he said" bullshit.... What have I done since she told me that? 1, you can read my livejournal for starters. It took me about 2 weeks to get over her not being my friend, but thats normal, Humans do that, and humans need to tell SOMETHING about whats going on. So why am i getting comments on my livejournal? Because im an Asshole? No, No one has this story right. (( Every time people ask me about You True, I tell them its none of their concern, and none of their buisness. Want Proof? I have it saved on Trillian )) 2. I have started college, Got several jobs, and moved the hell on. So please...and I mean PLEASE! Every harris County, California-person, every user on XEOGAMING READ THIS! Ready? Here we go! Just Drop it...Quit assuming things, quit hearing things from other people that I have been doing things, Quit telling me how much you are pissed at True Flight, or how much I need to grow up, How much Im 'immature' or whatever...Read what I said about her decision and Move the hell on please. :: Sajin adjusts his glasses :: I dont know who has been telling what to anyone that made people post shit in my livejournal. But thats what this post is for. To get this wholse shit straight so we can all move on like what True wanted. Not keep on bitching at each other with anger, bullshit, and drama. I dont want to hear another bitchy article in my livejournal. I dont want to hear how much you hate me, or how much you think im right, or how much you hate True. When you loose a friend, no one wins, and everyone starts hating each other, starts assuming things, and eventually, it just turns into a hellzone. I dont want that, True dosent want that, Yuzu dosent want that, and I know for a fact that you Xeogaming dont want that. So quit talking bad about each other and move the hell on like I have. I have school to think about, I have a test in the morning at 8 and its 3:09 right now. I dont have time to stress about your little comments in my livejournal OR in my AIM, or in Xeogaming. ( Man, is it just me, or have I said that like 50 times?) I have sent PM's like a Civil person would do to 'hopefully' clear up the situation. And if either of you are going to post a comment saying "OMFG, YOU DONT HAVE THE STORY RIGHT YOU ASSHOLE" No one wants to hear it, We are all sick of hearing fights between me and True, shut the hell up, and grow up. Telling me im immature in public is immature on your part, retarded, and toatally pointless. So stop it, stop acting like the grownup thinking you know the right answers when you are not part of the situation. Makes since? Great, maybe now we can all move on with our lives and not hear any more fights about all of this. It took balls for me to clear this up 'hopefully'. Now its YOUR part to accept what I have said (( Even though I just now was accused of being a Liar...)) or just keep on keeping on with your fucking anger issues with me. Keep in mind that keeping on bringing this up with your anger will NOT solve the situation. Everything cool? I am on AIM, Yahoo, and MSN...There are many ways of getting in contact with me. And to those who dont know my AIM, I will keep tabs on my Private messages here, and hopefully clear things up with you instead of posting things in public. So please, the PM's are there for a reason....Use them. (Last edited by Master Sajin on 06-07-06 07:20 AM) |
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 102 days Last activity: 102 days |
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| I never said it was best if we stopped being friends dumbie. I SAID it was best if we weren't DEEP friends. Close friends.
Edit: This is really getting pointless. *closes* Edit: *opens* oh yeah and REMIND YOU that my house is about to be repossessed and I haven't bitched about anything, I haven't done anything, I wasn't mad, I was never mad, and I'm just tired of this. What really got to me was "If we weren't friends" you opened your own can of shit now. If you hadn't of said that I wouldn't have thought ONCE to stop caring. To be honest now that I've seen what kind of crap you really did put me through WHILE I WAS STRESSING WITH THE REST OF MY FAMILY ABOUT BEING PUT ON THE STREETS. I really don't want to care. Never said I didn't. Deal with it and move on. (Last edited by Aden Nightly on 06-07-06 09:54 AM) |
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