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Kynriy

Merchant








Since: 03-02-09
From: Lago Vista, TX

Since last post: 5493 days
Last activity: 5183 days
Posted on 03-03-09 06:53 PM Link | Quote
I laughed SO HARD!!!



Hey, do you wanna feel so energetic? Try Powerthirst. Energy drinks for people who need gratuitous amounts of energy. With all new flavors like Shockolate. Shockolate energy, it’s like adding chocolate to an electrical storm. Sound the alarm, you’re gonna be uncomfortably energetic.

What’s that? You want strawberry? Well how about Rawberry? Made with lightning, real lightning. Sports (aaahhhhhh!). You’ll be good at them. It’s an energy drink for men. Menergy. These aren’t your dad’s puns, these are energy puns. Turbopuns.

Science, energy, science, energy, electrolyes, turbolytes, powerlytes, more lights than your body has room for. You’ll be so fast, mother nature will be like, “Sloooooowwww dooowwwwnn.” And you’ll be like, “Fuck you!” and kick her in the face with your energy legs.

You’ll have so much energy, energy (aaaahhhhh!) just running all the time. Power running, power lifting, power sweeping, power dating, power eating, power laughing, power spawning babies. You’ll have so many babies. 400 babies.

Give Shockolate to your babies and they’ll be good at sports. Make your babies run abnormally fast. They’ll run as fast as Kenyans. People will watch them running and think they’re Kenyans. They’ll race as fast as Kenyans, in a race with actual Kenyans, and it’ll be a tie, and they’ll get deported back to Kenya.

Hey, go with the sure thing. Don’t gamble on your energy (snake eyes!). Try Powerthirst, the energy that will make you (aaahhh!) sports (aaahhh!).



What are you waiting for?!

What if everything you ever wanted came in a rocket can? PowerThirst. Rocket Edition!

With all new flavors like Manana! Fizzbitch. And Gun! You’ve had the worst, now try the thirst…quencher.

Power Thirst. Side effects include glowing sweat. Use your sweaty body to fuel sweet rave parties. PowerThirst. Anything is possible.

Bear-blasting, the sport you’ll invent because you’ll be too energetic for normal sports. You’ll feel like a fighter jet made of biceps.

What about me and my blue collar? Juice Springsteen. Turn that everyman into a beveryman. Bevery stands for beverage!

We interrupt this advertisement to blow your mind! PowerThirst now comes in Women! Now with preposterous amounts of testosterone. Preposterone! Think fast douche-fag. Power Thirst now comes in doves. Hump-catting. Similar to bear-blasting.

Oh Lord, why have you forsaken me?

Can it. When God gives you lemons, you find a new God. PowerThirst…Godberry, King of the juice.

Unacceptable. Drink PowerThirst and you’ll win at everything forever. You’ll win at running, football, arson, weddings, and art! You’ll even win at irony! Top score.

Still unconvinced? Well check out these testimonials from real Power Thirst drinkers.

“400 babies.”

“Power Thirst. It’s really ahhhhhh!” “Aaahhhh!”

Alright! PowerThirst, it’s like crystal meth in a can. It’s crystal meth in a can. PowerThirst is crystal meth. Warning, may contain Anna Kournikova.
Lord Alexandor

Knight
Discord Manager








Since: 10-15-06
From: Dayton, OH

Since last post: 1146 days
Last activity: 395 days
Posted on 03-05-09 12:17 AM Link | Quote
I had seen the original POWERTHIRST (AAAHHH!!!), but I hadn't seen the second POWERTHIRST (ROCKET EDITION!!!!)

I love the Bear-Blasting and the Kenya thing, even though it is a terribly blatant stereotype.

This made me laugh right before bed. Good stuff!
Cteno

Super Shotgun
Moderator








Since: 01-11-05

Since last post: 1602 days
Last activity: 723 days
Posted on 03-05-09 11:02 AM Link | Quote
I feel like less of a man... I was sipping a Rockstar...
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 03-05-09 02:04 PM Link | Quote
I love those ads so much... they are so dumb so so funny!

Kenyans!!!!
Kynriy

Merchant








Since: 03-02-09
From: Lago Vista, TX

Since last post: 5493 days
Last activity: 5183 days
Posted on 03-05-09 03:50 PM Link | Quote
Haha. PowerThirst is the best.

Hump-catting! (similar to bear-blasting)

FIZZBITCH!

And, of course, Kenyans XD

Ah, good times.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 03-06-09 01:15 AM Link | Quote
Did you find the script for the videos or did you just watch them over and over until you could get it all down?

Proposterone!
Kynriy

Merchant








Since: 03-02-09
From: Lago Vista, TX

Since last post: 5493 days
Last activity: 5183 days
Posted on 03-06-09 04:05 PM Link | Quote
I found a script lol. If I had hand-wrote it it would be full of CAPS and !'s.

Like--
Your babies will run as fast as KENYANS!
People will see them running and think they're KENYANS!
They'll race as fast as KENYANS,
In a race with actual KENYANS,
And it'll be a tie,
And they'll get deported back to KENYAAA!!!!


Cteno

Super Shotgun
Moderator








Since: 01-11-05

Since last post: 1602 days
Last activity: 723 days
Posted on 03-07-09 03:58 PM Link | Quote
Done by the same people. I now present to you...

...Hand Vagina
Ryan

Ptooie
Is back!









Since: 10-01-04
From: Stafford, UK

Since last post: 4406 days
Last activity: 4366 days
Posted on 03-08-09 09:58 AM Link | Quote
HAI GUYZ WANNA PLAY KICKBALL?

Haven't seen Hand Vagina before, but ultimately hilarious.
Kynriy

Merchant








Since: 03-02-09
From: Lago Vista, TX

Since last post: 5493 days
Last activity: 5183 days
Posted on 03-08-09 02:32 PM Link | Quote
LOL hand vagina
XD
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 03-09-09 03:10 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Kynriy
I found a script lol. If I had hand-wrote it it would be full of CAPS and !'s.

Like--
Your babies will run as fast as KENYANS!
People will see them running and think they're KENYANS!
They'll race as fast as KENYANS,
In a race with actual KENYANS,
And it'll be a tie,
And they'll get deported back to KENYAAA!!!!





That would have been more accurate in my opinion. But oh well.
Kynriy

Merchant








Since: 03-02-09
From: Lago Vista, TX

Since last post: 5493 days
Last activity: 5183 days
Posted on 03-09-09 05:29 PM Link | Quote
Yeah but I'm lazzzzyyyy...
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