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12-04-24 09:03 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - I literally wrote this as I went along. Enjoi. | |
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Cairoi
This isn't about you and your loud mouth,
This is about me and my fucking beard.








Since: 08-29-04
From: PA

Since last post: 4861 days
Last activity: 4485 days
Posted on 02-11-06 12:13 AM Link | Quote
Tick Tock goes the clock
Ringing in my mind

I've got problems to solve
and conflicts to dissolve

But I just haven't got the time...

Tick tock the clock strikes one
I wish I could see the sun

The darkness in my mind
Is something I always hate to find

But I always have a ton...

Tick Tock the clock strikes two
I wonder what I should do

The climax reaching closer
I'm starting to hate that little poser

For taking everything I had...

Tick Tock the clock strikes three
My body's telling me to flee

The jackass finally came
Now it's time to play the game

That I've been waiting oh so long to play...

Tick tock the clock struck five
I had finally taken the dive

I'd taken one step too many
Now my body hurts a plenty

And I wish it didn't sting no more...

Ow.
Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 4569 days
Last activity: 4563 days
Posted on 02-11-06 10:46 AM Link | Quote
Sounds like what you would expect in the Ghetto...I was raised in one before I was sent to a military acadamy...

But I like the pattern of style you put, Its something rare nowadays from the things I read to have a pattern...Well done...

You should post in Caxima's thread and add on to that poem, I really want to see where that goes...I think you might spice things up on there...

Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 113 days
Last activity: 113 days
Posted on 02-11-06 09:59 PM Link | Quote
That is really good Cairoi, especially the repetative use of the clock. I forget the type of poem that is called, but it's always a fun one. I gather the poem is about a fight or something from the way it ends. You should write more often, you're good.
Cairoi
This isn't about you and your loud mouth,
This is about me and my fucking beard.








Since: 08-29-04
From: PA

Since last post: 4861 days
Last activity: 4485 days
Posted on 02-11-06 10:09 PM Link | Quote
Really? Wow, thanks.

I wrote this at 12 AM while I was angry, really tired (Hadn't had more than 4 hours of sleep a night in a week) and I'd felt the compulsion to.

Next time I get said compulsion, I'll post it up.
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