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Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - I literally wrote this as I went along. Enjoi. | | | |
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Cairoi This isn't about you and your loud mouth, This is about me and my fucking beard. Since: 08-29-04 From: PA Since last post: 4861 days Last activity: 4484 days |
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Tick Tock goes the clock
Ringing in my mind I've got problems to solve and conflicts to dissolve But I just haven't got the time... Tick tock the clock strikes one I wish I could see the sun The darkness in my mind Is something I always hate to find But I always have a ton... Tick Tock the clock strikes two I wonder what I should do The climax reaching closer I'm starting to hate that little poser For taking everything I had... Tick Tock the clock strikes three My body's telling me to flee The jackass finally came Now it's time to play the game That I've been waiting oh so long to play... Tick tock the clock struck five I had finally taken the dive I'd taken one step too many Now my body hurts a plenty And I wish it didn't sting no more... Ow. |
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Bitmap #1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt Since: 09-05-04 From: His Laughin' Place Since last post: 4569 days Last activity: 4563 days |
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Sounds like what you would expect in the Ghetto...I was raised in one before I was sent to a military acadamy...
But I like the pattern of style you put, Its something rare nowadays from the things I read to have a pattern...Well done... You should post in Caxima's thread and add on to that poem, I really want to see where that goes...I think you might spice things up on there... |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 112 days Last activity: 112 days |
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That is really good Cairoi, especially the repetative use of the clock. I forget the type of poem that is called, but it's always a fun one. I gather the poem is about a fight or something from the way it ends. You should write more often, you're good. | |||
Cairoi This isn't about you and your loud mouth, This is about me and my fucking beard. Since: 08-29-04 From: PA Since last post: 4861 days Last activity: 4484 days |
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Really? Wow, thanks.
I wrote this at 12 AM while I was angry, really tired (Hadn't had more than 4 hours of sleep a night in a week) and I'd felt the compulsion to. Next time I get said compulsion, I'll post it up. |
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Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - I literally wrote this as I went along. Enjoi. | | |